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Why Imagination—Not Resilience—Might Help You Heal From Heartbreak - Mindful
Pain Creates A Tunnel Vision
Pain narrows down our choices and creates a tunnel vision that can lead to negative thinking and even self-harm. Positivity by itself feels shallow.
Imagination comes with a choice of action, which offers a possibility to feel something apart from pain.
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Key Ideas
The journey through suffering
The five stages of grief are described as anger, bargaining, denial, depression, and acceptance. Yet, when a tragedy strike, we already know how bad things are. What is most needed is hope.
Suffering as part of life
We live in an age where many feel that they are entitled to a perfect life. But at some stage, everyone will face a tragedy.
When tough times do come, resilient people seem to recognize that suffering is part of every human life. Understanding this stops you from feeling discriminated against when trouble comes.
Directing your attention
Resilient people typically manage to focus on the things they can change and accept the things they can't.
Don't get swallowed up by your troubles. Don't lose what you still have to what you have lost.
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Key Ideas
Resilience
It's the skill that enables us to recover quickly from difficulties. It means adapting well in the face of trauma, tragedy or significant stress.
We build our resilience by learni...
Build a circle of trust
The primary factor in resilience is having supportive relationships, inside and outside the family.
Close friends, family and loved ones represent our social support; they encourage and motivate us, and let us know that we aren’t alone.
Reframe stressful situations
The way we view a potentially stressful situation can either make the crisis worse in our mind or minimize it.
Reframing things in a more positive way can alter our perceptions and relieve our stressful feelings.
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Key Ideas
Be Emotionally Self-Aware
Strong emotions are more likely to dictate your behavior.
Become familiar with what triggers your stress. Practice “active internal coping mechanisms” such as reframing, humor, optimis...
Write It Out
Simply writing about your feelings can help you explore them and resolve some of the issues that may be preventing you from recovering from trauma.
Build A Community
Fostering strong relationships with family, friends, mentors and others to whom you can turn in times of crisis helps you bounce back.