Mindsets around new conversations - Deepstash

deepstash

Beta

Get an account to save ideas & make your own & organize them how you wish.

deepstash

Beta

How to become a better conversationalist

Mindsets around new conversations

Go into a situation where you will need to speak with people with the mindset of, "I am curious and I want to learn more about other people", rather than going into it with the mindset of, "Oh no, I’m going to have to talk about myself a lot".

105 SAVES


This is a professional note extracted from an online article.

Read more efficiently

Save what inspires you

Remember anything

IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

How to become a better conversationalist

How to become a better conversationalist

https://www.fastcompany.com/90287138/how-to-become-a-better-conversationalist#

fastcompany.com

5

Key Ideas

Mindsets around new conversations

Go into a situation where you will need to speak with people with the mindset of, "I am curious and I want to learn more about other people", rather than going into it with the mindset of, "Oh no, I’m going to have to talk about myself a lot".

Listen with intent

The best conversationalists aren’t those who always have witty things to say, but those who are genuine listeners. 

Good listeners don’t just listen with their ears, but with their whole body. They lean into the conversation, establish eye contact, and provide their undivided attention to the person they’re speaking with.

Ask open-ended questions

Those that require more than a “yes” or “no” answer, are the best type of questions to ask if you’re looking to establish common ground. 

Just be careful not to overdo your questioning. You don’t want the other person to feel like they’re being interrogated.

Avoid oversharing

Keep your personal anecdotes short and sweet, focusing more on the other person’s stories than your own. 

To find out if you’re speaking too much, leave out some details of the story, to see if they’re really interested in hearing more. If they don’t respond, turn the focus of the conversation to something else that might engage them more.

Know where you stand on the introvert-extrovert spectrum

  • If you’re an extrovert and find yourself talking too much, try to shift the focus on asking more questions. 
  • If you’re an introvert, ask yourself whether you’re speaking enough and giving the other person enough information about yourself to help them feel connected to you.

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Become More Knowledgeable
Become More Knowledgeable
  1. When you don’t understand a topic someone is talking about, don’t try to change the subject or walk away
  2. Read a newspaper every day
  3. Listen...
Leverage Social Media
Leverage Social Media

Social media is an incredibly powerful tool for personal branding. 

  • Your up-to-date profiles can tout your skills and accomplishments for you, without yo...
Focus on Relationships

Don't pressure yourself into thinking that you need to be the center of attention or speak with a large audience.

If you continue to build one meaningful relationship at a time with the people who actually matter to you, by setting up informal meetings or coffee dates, you'll actually end up with a stronger personal brand than those people who fly around networking events engaging in endless conversations about the weather.

Expand Your Qualifications

Expanding your skills and expertise is a surefire way to solidify and improve your personal brand

Once you complete your extracurricular, make sure to post your new certification on your LinkedIn, your resume (if relevant) and your personal website to cash in on the branding payoff.

one more idea

Introverted vs. extroverted people

If you recover your energy while alone or in quiet surroundings, you’re probably an introverted type of person.

You can experience the benefits of both types when you push yourself to ...

Introverted vs. shy/insecure people
There’s nothing wrong with being an introvert. If you are emotionally unstable, being an introvert can become the biggest enemy of your progress in life.
There’s a big difference between being an introvert and being afraid of public speaking, meeting people and speaking up when necessary. Social anxiety is not introversion, it’s a fear you must face and overcome.
Thinking before speaking and acting
  • Make sure that you speak up when you have something important to say. 
  • Take advantage of your ability to observe other people, the environment you’re in and the energy flow in the room.
  • People will pay more attention to what you say when you do speak up.
  • You probably have the ability to study things better and faster, so when you do say something make sure that it’s an eye-opener.
  • People will trust you more and thus you’ll have access to more privileged information.

13 more ideas

Attending conferences
Conferences are overwhelming:  the rush of presentations, conversations, and potential meet-ups, and it can make it tough for you if you want to find focus.

But skipping them isn't the bes...

Change your mindset

See networking from a different perspective: You’re not just networking because you should; you’re doing it because it’s good for your career.

Pre-introduce yourself

Think about the people you would like to get to know and then carve out time to accomplish that goal:

  • A few before the conference, make a 'priority wish list' of people you’d like to meet. 
  • Send those people an email introducing yourself and asking to meet; if possible, get an introduction from a mutual friend or colleague.

3 more ideas

Thin-Slicing
Studies have found that we not only decide if we like someone in the first few seconds, but also that the first impression stays with us.

Thin-slicing is when we take a mental snapshot of someone...

Self-Evaluation

Choose ONE word from this list of adjectives or pick your own to fill in the blank. When people first meet me, they think I am_____

  • Charismatic or boring
  • Outgoing or shy
  • Kind or judgmental
  • Intelligent or weird
  • Open or closed
  • Powerful or weak
  • Engaging or odd
  • Professional or casual

Did you pick a positive word? Or a negative word? You have to know where you stand now to move to where you want to be.

Ideal Firsts
How can you ensure people are judging you accurately and also seeing your best side? 

The most important thing to do for giving a good impression is to set your intention. Right now pick your ideal first impression word. When people first meet me, I want them to see me as_______.

4 more ideas

Traits Of Engaging Conversationalists
Traits Of Engaging Conversationalists
  1. They display genuine interest in what their partner is saying. They actively listen, rather than simply waiting for their own turn to speak.
  2. They demonstrate attention by
Small talk

It’s a brief conversation between you and someone you don’t know very well. 

Small talk is an essential stage of a casual conversation, especially in English-speaking cultures.

How to get better at small talk
  • Have a genuine interest in getting to know a person you’re talking to and learn from them.
  • Ask open-ended questions. It encourages the other person you're speaking with to open up.“What do you do?” followed by “Why did you choose that type of work? How did you enter that profession?”
  • Never talk about something too personal.
  • Practice active listening. By paying attention to the speaker’s words, you’ll create much stronger connections.
Listening requires mental work
We mistake listening as easy because it looks passive and instinctive, but in reality it’s hard work. Really listening (and not just appearing to listen) re...
Mistakes we make in conversations
Our general tendency is to:
  • Evaluate: We judge what someone is saying and agree or disagree.
  • Probe: We ask questions from our own frame of reference.
  • Advise: We give counsel, advice, and solutions to problems.
  • Interpret: We analyze others' motives and behaviors based on our own experiences.
What makes a great listener
  • Asking great questions;
  • Playing attention to the nonverbal communication;
  • Forgoing taking detailed notes to pay better attention;
  • Listening with the intent to understand, not the intent to respond;
  • Making people feel heard;
  • Following up on what matters.
First impressions

In less than one-tenth of a second of seeing someone for the first time, our brain processes information about the person’s face—which leads to quick conclusions about a new acquaintance’s quali...

Know your context

It’s important to first consider where you are trying to make a good impression—whether it’s a formal job interview or a dinner date. 

Context matters. It gives you cues as to how you should dress, speak, look and behave, in a way that matches the setting you are entering to. That is a key aspects of making a good impression. 

Adjust your attitude

Try not to look bored, rude or hostile.

A useful attitude is welcoming, curious and enthusiastic: smile, make eye contact long enough to notice the color of that person’s eyes, sit without crossing your arms or legs. This project a positive, open warm impression.

4 more ideas

Likeability is a quick judgment

We make judgments about someone’s likeability, trustworthiness and competence after seeing their face for less than a tenth of a second.

Making snap judgments might determine who we vote for....

Put on a happy face

A happier face conveys trustworthiness. People will consider a smiling face as more trustworthy, warmer and sociable.

Not all is lost if your first impression has not been as good as you hoped. If you can impress someone afterwards, they will often not remember their first impression of you.

Direct your charm

Charm is defined as your likability - how pleasant it is to interact with you.

And it is possible to train yourself to be charming.

3 more ideas