How to become a better conversationalist

Go into a situation where you will need to speak with people with the mindset of, "I am curious and I want to learn more about other people", rather than going into it with the mindset of, "Oh no, I’m going to have to talk about myself a lot".

The best conversationalists aren’t those who always have witty things to say, but those who are genuine listeners. 

Good listeners don’t just listen with their ears, but with their whole body. They lean into the conversation, establish eye contact, and provide their undivided attention to the person they’re speaking with.

Those that require more than a “yes” or “no” answer, are the best type of questions to ask if you’re looking to establish common ground. 

Just be careful not to overdo your questioning. You don’t want the other person to feel like they’re being interrogated.

Keep your personal anecdotes short and sweet, focusing more on the other person’s stories than your own. 

To find out if you’re speaking too much, leave out some details of the story, to see if they’re really interested in hearing more. If they don’t respond, turn the focus of the conversation to something else that might engage them more.

• If you’re an extrovert and find yourself talking too much, try to shift the focus on asking more questions. 
• If you’re an introvert, ask yourself whether you’re speaking enough and giving the other person enough information about yourself to help them feel connected to you.