deepstash
Beta
Why Am I So Obsessed with Giving People Gifts?
If you equate love and worth with things and giving, it doesn't mean you have to repeat the pattern. You have the autonomy and agency to decide what feels okay for you.
Love, care, and appreciation can be shown in other ways, such as a phone call or a glass of wine with your partner over dinner. People feel happier when they're making a real connection.
6 SAVES
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
6
Key Ideas
The idea of being a good listener is almost a cliche. Yet, most of us are terrible at it.
Becoming a good listener is not that difficult if you know where to start and are ...
Our ability to solve problems is helpful in life, but it is the wrong thing to do in situations when people simply want to be heard, understood, and feel connected.
When someone is scared, angry, depressed, or just upset, they don't want to feel like something is wrong with them. When you give unsolicited advice to someone who is struggling, you make them feel like a problem. Give advice when someone asks for it, otherwise, hold off on your wisdom and instead focus on being present.
Being a good listener is not about getting the facts about what made them upset. It is to be supportive, offer encouragement, and empathize.
Ask open-ended questions to communicate that you're interested in them. Avoid questions beginning with 'Why' and use 'What' or 'How' instead. Generic open-ended questions that work well are:
3
Key Ideas
The idea is: we all express and feel love differently, and understanding those differences can seriously help your relationships.
We all show affection in different ways. These “languag...
The concept of love languages helps pretty much any relationship - it’s useful to understand what matters to people.
It all comes down to knowing what’s important to people so you can understand, empathize and work with them a little better.
We all have different life experiences; we come from different backgrounds. It makes sense that we communicate differently, too.
5
Key Ideas
Too much is expected of modern relationships: your partner is supposed to fulfil roles that historically used to be spread out within communal structures. Your partner is supposed to be your be...
During the pandemic, being at home with a partner reveals the "invisible work" they're doing, which may be taken for granted. This expanded view of ourselves and our partners can go in two directions.
Couples go through harmony, disharmony, and repair. So they will inevitably get into arguments. However, what matters is how you fight. Don't highlight everything negative while taking the positive for granted.
Start by saying to yourself, "What are the one or two things that they have done that I can appreciate?" If you start with that, you will fight differently.
Stay focussed on the one thing that you're upset about at this moment. Don't end up talking about other things.