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Failure And Self-criticism
Failing at something is common and there are different ways we react to it. Some of us are harsh on ourselves, while a few of us talk to ourselves with care and tenderness.
Self-criticism, which is the common reaction towards failure, is a bad choice. It increases our stress and unhappiness levels while also ensuring we block ourselves from further progress, resulting in less likelihood of accomplishing our goals.
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Characteristics Of Self-Compassionate People
Self-compassionate people generally have healthy behaviour, and take care of their basic needs like good, uninterrupted sleep, exercise, and stress avoidance. They are prioritizing their own self and are not overly concerned with the criticism and judgement of others, as they know it is bad for t...
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Cultivating Self-Compassion
We need to understand the need to love ourselves and see our failings are part of the human condition. Instead of criticising ourselves, we can take a balanced view of the situation.
Apart from less stress, people who cultivate high self-compassion are less likely to have headaches, back p...
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Self Compassion: Forgive Yourself
We can take better care of our mental health and motivation levels by being self-compassionate.
Being kind to ourselves just like an old supportive friend would be in times of disappointment, failure or embarrassment.
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Self-Compassion Is Trainable
While many have the quality of self-compassion from birth, one can also get trained on loving yourself.
A popular mindfulness meditation called ‘loving-kindness meditation’ guides our mind to focus on the feelings of love, forgiveness and warmth towards ourselves and others.
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Self-Esteem Is A Flawed Mental Model
Self-esteem is a popular self-worth mental model, but it comes with an in-built competition of sorts and can become narcissism of the worst kind, crumbling down as soon as the person fails to achieve the goal.
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4. Eliminate self-criticism and introduce self-compassion
Since our goal is to enhance our self-esteem, we need to substitute self-criticism with self-compassion. Specifically, whenever your self-critical inner monologue kicks in, ask yourself what you would say to a dear friend if they were in your situation (we tend to be much more compassionate to fr...
The vicious cycle of self-justification
When we face a decision whose consequences are morally ambiguous, the first choice starts the process of entrapment. It leads us to justify our actions, which leads to further action in the wrong direction, which increases the intensity of our choice. This causes a vicious cycle of self-justifica...
Emotionally Driven / “Shoulds” Driven / Self-criticism
Those driven by too many “shoulds” can go too far in the other direction. Rules run their lives. They can seem rigid with their black and white thinking and may feel guilty for breaking the rules. Because the rules are usually inherited from others, running our life this ...
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