Preserving

1. Daily questions are a commitment device.
2. Daily questions focus on where we need help, not where we are doing fine. We all have tasks and behaviors that come natulally.
3. Self discipline refers to achieving desirable behavior and Self control to avoiding undesirable behavior. We...

• We never achieve perfection. The best we can hope for is a consistency in our effort.
• What's worrisome is when the striving stops, our lapses become more frecuent and we begin to coast on our reputation.
• The mustard on a sandwich can be good enough

• Conffirmation bias is the tendency to favor information that confirms our opinions, whether it's true or not.
• We're all guilty of this.
• Your brilliant marshaling of data not only fails to persuade the believer, it backfires a...

We understand how much sleep we need, so why don't we do what we know it's good for us?

We put off going to bed at the intended time because we preffer to remain in our current environment playing videogames or warching tv, rather than move to a calm and boring place like t...

They can be encouraging or discouraging

Encouraging push us to maintain or expand what we are doing while the discouraging does the opposite.

They can be Productive or Counteproductive

This is the most important distinction. Productive triggers push us towar be...

• Eliminating is our most liberating, therapeutic action, but we make it reluctantly; we always come out with excuses co avoid it.
• We can continue doing what we are doing, but we'll never become the person you want to be.
• Accepting is most valuable when we are powerless to make...

• Our behavior can be an aberration triggered by a restaurant where we believe that paying entitles us to royal treatment.
• People talk more softly with a soft spoken person and more quickly with a fast talker.
• Being with certain people affects our mood, like old high school cla...

"Our phone chrips, and we plance at the glowing screen instead of looking into the eyes of the person we love."

We feel regret's sharp sting when we reflect on the opportunities squandered, the choices deferred, the efforts not made, the talants never deve...

1. If we do it, we get better: we don't get many guarantees in life, but this is one of them. My clients get better if they listen to me, they don't if they do nothing.
2. We get better faster: you will get more efficient at the process of getting better. We recognize th...

• There are a few magic moves in life: optimism, apologizing, asking for help and active questions.
• The act of self questioning changes everything.
• People don't get better without follow up.
• There's a difference between "Do you have clear goals?" and "Did y...

• The problem is ego. People consider repetitious activity as mundane, uncreative, somehow beneath them. 
• How could something so simple do any good?
• One of the mayor contributions of estructure is that it limits our options so that we're not th...

• When people are asked passive questions they thend to give environmental answers. When asked exclusively, passive questions can be the natural enemy of taking personal responsability.
• Different phrasing of the questions have an effect because active questions focus on what they can d...

• In any situation we can live in one of three dimensions: past, present or future.
• The present is the ideal place to be; this is where we shape ourselves into a better person. 
• Hourly questions have a specific short-term utility. They are for the short game- w...

• We think that because we raised our hand to help out we can opt out of inconvenient moments.
• We don't need integrity to live up our smart commitments, the test is delivering performance on our stupid commitments.
• We are professionals at what we do, amateurs at what we want to...

• If I understand, i will do: some people read the book and say: "it's common sense. I didn't read anything that I don't already know". True, but I bet that you read plenty here that you don't already do. There is a difference between understanding and doing....

• Our environment is a nonstop triggering mechanism whose impoct on our behavior is too significant to be ingored.
• Some environments are designed to lure us into acting against our interest.
• It's not all bad. Our environment can be the angel on our shoulder, making us a...

• A trigger is any stimulus that reshapes our thoughts and actions. In every waking hour we are being triggered by people, events and circumstances that have the potential to change us.

Now, how do we make triggers work for us?

Because ou...

• Creating is the glamorous poster child of behavioral change. 
• When we imagine ourselves behaving better, we think of it as an exciting process of self invention.
• When we're dissatisfied, we may go to the other extreme, falling for any and every idea, never pursuing one idea l...

• Daily questions act as our coach.
• This is how successful change happens: we make choices that marry our intention with execution.
• We think we can do it on our own; quite often we can do it, of cource, but what's the wirtue of saying no to help?
• Do we ...

• Our closest relationships often become trigger festivals with consecuences that we rarely see in any other part of our lives; the fuming and shouting, the fights and slammed doors, the angry departures and refusals to talk to each other for months, years or decades.
• We feel we can sa...

• We are geniuses at coming up with reasons to avoid change, we make excuses, we rationalize.
• When we bluntly challenge ourselves to figure out what we can change and what we can't, what to loose and what to keep, we often surprise ourselves with the bold simlpicity of our answers.

1. Did I do my best to set clear goals today?
2. Did I do my best to make progress toward my goals today?
3. Did I do my best to find meaning today?
4. Did I do my best to be happy today?
5. Did I do my best to build positive relationships today?
6. Did I do my best to ...

• The sequence known as a habit loop are described by three terms: cue, routine and reward.
• The golden rule of habit change design by Duhigg is to keep the cue and reward ande change the routine.
• A modified, more complete way to view this is: trigger -> impulse...

• Every decision in the world is made by the person who has the power to make that decision. Make peace with that.
• Sometimes we are yelling at an empty boat, except it's our boat.
• Our environment tempts us many times a day to engage in pointless skirmishes, and we can do someth...

We face three problems in introducing change into our lives:

• We can't admit that we need change: we create elavorate excuses that deny our need for change.
• We do not appreciate inertia's power over us: given the choice, we prefer to do nothing.It takes extraordinary effort to s...

• Going though life and never changing our tastes, opinions, and preferences is impossible , because our environment won't allow it.
• We take foolish pride in prolonging some behaviors as long as possible, with no regard for who we harmed.
• The time we ar...

• Why bother?
• Because the autor's a fraud and a cheat
• And you needed the world to know that you were smart enough to spot it?
• That's part of it. I was marally outraged by the book as well.
• But couldn't you have just let it...

• Today it's a special day: tomorrow is back to normal, we'll be disciplined then.
• At least I'm better than: it lowers the bar on our motivation and discipline.
• I shouldn't need help and structure: our culture...

Forecasting is what we must do after acknowledging the environment's power over us. It comprises three interconnected stages: anticipation, avoidance and adjustment.

• When our performance has clear and immediate consecuences, we rise to the occasion, we create our environment; we don't let it recreate us.
• The problem is that the mayority of our day consists of minor moments, whet we're not thinking about our behavior.

• Half the leaders I have meet don't need to learn what to do; they need to learn what to stop.
• People award themselves for triumphing over temptation; avoidance doesn't feel like an achivement.
• Quite often our smartest response to an environment is avoiding i...

• We understimate how the quality of our goals offects our motivation.
• Skill is the beating heart of high motivation. The more skill we have for the task at hand. the easier it is to do a good job.
• It makes sense that we are highly motivated to do things we're ...

• An epiphany will suddently change my life: this type of change rarely lasts.
• No one is paying attention to me: our slow and steady improvement may not be obvious to others.
• If i change I am "unauthentic": thats a misguided belief th...

• A feedback loop compromises four stages: evidence, relevance, consecuence and action.
• They can be direct or indirect: direct triggers have no intermediate steps between the event and your response while indirect ones takea more.
• They can be internal or e...

• To avoid undesirable behavior, avoid the environments where it is most likely to occur.
• If you don't want to be lured into a tantrum by a person who gets on your nerves, avoid him.
• If you don't want to be indulge into late night snacking, don't wander into the kitchen looking...

• AIWATT is the delaying mechanism we should be deploying in the interval between trigger and behavior.
• This is the first principle for becoming the person you want to be. It is phrased in the form of a question you should be asking yourself whenever you must choose to either engage or...

• Noting unexpected will occur: we plan for a perfect world whitout distractions.
• My change will be permanent and I will never have to worry again: it's the difference between getting in shape and staying in shape. We...

• We bebave one way when we believe there is another person at the helm. We can blame that person for our missfortune.
• We behave more calmly when we learn that it's an empty boat. We make peace withe the fact that our misfortune was the result of fate or bad luck.
• There's never...

• Being mad at people for being who they are makes as much sense as getting mad at a chair for being a chair.
• If there's a person who drives you crazy, you don't have to like or agree with or respect him, just accept him for being who he is.
• People disappoint us or disagree wit...

• What if the planner in each of us could size up the situation at any point during the day and adopt the appropiate management style for the doer in us?
• It's not just environmental intrusions and unpredicted events that upset our plans; it's also our willful discounting of...

• Our mission in life should be to make a positive difference, not to prove how smart or right we are.
• When we have the opportunity to demonstrate our brainpower, we're rarely thinking about a positive result for the other people in the room.
• There's a moral superiority you ass...

• Inside each of us are two separate personas: the planner and the doer.
• As a leader, you will assume the follower in you will obey each order precisely as you have articulated it. 
• You assume your follower self will not be presented wi...

If your motivation for a task or goal is in any way compromised (because you lack the skil, or don't take it seriously, or think that you've done so far is good enough) don't take it on. Find something else to show the world how much you care, not how little.

• Some people say they want to change, but they don't really mean it.
• Even when altering our behavior represents all reward and no risk and clinging to the status quo can costs us our careers and relationships, we still resist change.
• Smoking should be a relati...