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Power Up Your Team with Nonviolent Communication Principles

Nonviolent communication

It lets us reframe how we express ourselves and hear others. 

It allows us to speak in terms of what we observe, how we’re feeling, what our needs are, and how we respond to others’ requests.

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Power Up Your Team with Nonviolent Communication Principles

Power Up Your Team with Nonviolent Communication Principles

https://firstround.com/review/power-up-your-team-with-nonviolent-communication-principles/

firstround.com

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Key Ideas

The objective of nonviolent communication

Is to empower functional giving and receiving. 

If implemented correctly, it can replace knee-jerk reactions and old, ineffective patterns. It can be built like any habit.

Observation

  • Take a mental step back and just watch what's happening in the current situation.
  • Record these observations in your mind without assigning value to them
  • Hold back from judgment or evaluation
  • Say what you see, but not what you think of it. Examples: “What I’m hearing you ask me is…” or “I see that you want this…”

Emotional Audit

  • Check in with your body and identify adjectives that describe the sensations you’re feeling.
  • Choose words that are specific to your experience, not words that insinuate what another is doing. Examples “When this happens, it makes me feel like…”
  • Describing your feelings as being overlooked, devalued, unheard or pressured all suggest that someone else is doing something to you and won’t foster mutual understanding.

Needs

List the needs that are connected to the feelings you’ve identified.

What is lacking that would make you feel better? Appreciation? Balance? Support? Acceptance? Security? Belonging? Articulate what it is you need to move forward. 

Example: “Because I value my happiness, I need…

Requests

Needs are the missing pieces. Requests are what you use to get them.

Usually, you are looking for something from another person that will enrich your life, your work or your experience. Accordingly, you want to take their feelings and needs into account. The best way to do this is to build flexibility and freedom into your ask. Examples: “I am wondering if…” “Would you be willing to?”

Nonviolent communication is designed to...

....strip away the narrative people automatically build in their heads, those looming cloud of  suppositions you carry around about a person or situation, disabling you from working effectively.

Rather than pointing fingers or assigning blame, the best tactic is to become self aware first and share how you feel only once you’ve thought it through.

Managing conflict

When conflict arises in the workplace, people have two tendencies: 
  1. To hide from discomfort and hope the issue dissipates; 
  2. To address the conflict head-on, often without filtering the words they use. 

Neither response is correct.

The A-E-I-O-U Model of Managing Conflict

Standing for Acknowledge, Express, Identify, Outcome, and Understanding, the A-E-I-O-U method can be used to resolve a variety of standoffs: employee-to-boss, peer-to-peer, co-founder to co-founder. 

It helps clients work through confrontations mindfull.

Steps of the A-E-I-O-U Model

  • Acknowledge - (See the positive intentions): Assume the other person in the argument means well. Try to understanding his or her rationale and state it out loud directly to them.
  • Express - (What you see): Affirm the positive intention you’ve identified and express your own specific concern.
  • Indentify - (Propose a solution): Clearly define your objectives and recommendations. 
  • Outcome - (Outline the benefits):  What’s in it for your opposition if they agree to accommodate you?
  • Understanding - (Ask for feedback) Either nail down agreement on a next action or step, or work together to develop.alternatives.

Benefits of Better Communication

Fixing communication gives a startup the tools and foundation they need to get the most out of the limited resources and capital they have. 

This doesn’t mean that there won’t be any more problems or confrontations, but you’ll have the strategies and techniques you need to handle them as they arise

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Poor communication

The lack of communication is one of the main reasons for break-ups, divorces and for seeking couple therapy, according to studies.
Poor communication is also related to conflict-based con...

Fear and resentment

When having important discussions with our partners, we face the fear that they are not really hearing us.
This could lead us to develop a form of resentment because we may not feel validated by them. We might also misinterpret their body language and words and feel hurt and disrespected by them.

The antidote to fear

Fear is the enemy of healthy communication. The antidote would thus be developing safety.
When we feel safe, we can talk about anything in healthy ways. You should also make sure you help your partner feel safe when talking to you.

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Team communication
  • Open and effective team communication keeps projects moving, co-workers happy, and ideas flowing.
  • Bad team communication kills company culture,  leads employees...
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  • Instead of looking for solutions, we waste time checking communication tools.
  • We don't talk about our expectations.
  • Communication bleeds into our out-of-work time, instead of leaving it at work.
Open communication

It doesn’t mean just telling people to share their thoughts, but actually doing it yourself and setting clear rules and guidelines about how to share.

It isn’t just about how you share information but also what gets shared. 

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... is imperative for every successful business. Poor communication inevitably causes misunderstandings, confusion and conflicts that hinder productivity and professi...

Effective Communication is vital in business
  • It helps to create effective brand messaging.  It determines how your brand is perceived and also builds trust with customers.
  • Customer service relies on good communication. "60% of consumers have stopped doing business with a brand due to a poor customer service experience."  Microsoft’s 2016 Global State of Customer Service Report.
  • It enables positive team relationships.  Effective communication helps to unite teams and create a safe environment to express themselves.
  • It helps to prevent misunderstandings and conflicts. It can help to defuse a potentially explosive dispute while bad communication can set it off.

Worst Communication Mistakes
  1. Using a One-Size-Fits-All Communication Approach. Tailor the communication style to the intended audience.
  2. Speaking More and Listening Less. Listen to what is said, how it is said, and to what is not said.
  3. Assuming Instead of Asking More Questions.
  4. Using Negative Tone. Choose words carefully to eliminate negative reactions.
  5. Avoiding Difficult Conversations.

  6. Reacting, Not Responding.

  7. Not Keeping an Open Mind. Accept and respect differences, listen without judgment and consider all sides of an issue.