The A-E-I-O-U Model of Managing Conflict

• Check in with your body and identify adjectives that describe the sensations you’re feeling.
• Choose words that are specific to your experience, not words that insinuate what another is doing. Examples “When this happens, it makes me feel like…”
• Descri...

• Take a mental step back and just watch what's happening in the current situation.
• Record these observations in your mind without assigning value to them. 
• Hold back from judgment or evaluation. 
• Say what you see, but not what you think of it

Is to empower functional giving and receiving. 

If implemented correctly, it can replace knee-jerk reactions and old, ineffective patterns. It can be built like any habit.

....strip away the narrative people automatically build in their heads, those looming cloud of  suppositions you carry around about a person or situation, disabling you from working effectively.

Rather than pointing fingers or assigning blame, the best tactic is to become self aware ...

When conflict arises in the workplace, people have two tendencies: 

1. To hide from discomfort and hope the issue dissipates; 
2. To address the conflict head-on, often without filtering the words they use. 

Neither response is correct.

List the needs that are connected to the feelings you’ve identified.

What is lacking that would make you feel better? Appreciation? Balance? Support? Acceptance? Security? Belonging? Articulate what it is you need to move forward. 

Example: “Because I value my happiness, I need…

• Acknowledge - (See the positive intentions): Assume the other person in the argument means well. Try to understanding his or her rationale and state it out loud directly to them.
• Express - (What you see): Affirm the positive intention you’ve identified and express your ...

It lets us reframe how we express ourselves and hear others. 

It allows us to speak in terms of what we observe, how we’re feeling, what our needs are, and how we respond to others’ requests.

Needs are the missing pieces. Requests are what you use to get them.

Usually, you are looking for something from another person that will enrich your life, your work or your experience. Accordingly, you want to take their feelings and needs into account. The best way to do this is to...