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Making friends: Initiate
Friendships don't just happen. We have to set aside time to regularly reach out to people, reconnect with old friendships, awaken new ones, check-in, and find time to hang out.
Don't just show up. Say 'hello when you get there. Let go of the myth that friendship happens organically. Regularly introduce yourself to other people and ask them for their phone numbers, rather than waiting passively. Then follow up and ask them to hang out.
241
1.02K reads
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Assume that people like you
One study found that volunteers who thought they were liked shared more about themselves, disagreed less, and had a more positive attitude. Other research found that, on average, strangers like us more than we realise.
These studies remind us to go into new social events a...
248
1.42K reads
Deliberately making friends
Making more friends in adulthood will take some deliberate effort. One challenge may be to put yourself out there, as it can trigger fear of rejection.
You may engage in two types of avoidance to prevent you from making new friends.
- You may practise 'o...
234
1.15K reads
Get vulnerable
To deepen a friendship, it pays to get vulnerable. To make true friends, you have to share things about yourself. Ask people questions too so that they share about themselves.
Tell people what your passions are, how you spend your free time, what you're looking forward to,...
240
933 reads
Friendships are a treasure
Friends provide a comforting sense of stability and bonding. A defining feature of friendship is that it's voluntary - it's a relationship of great freedom that we hold on to only because we want to.
The downside of this freedom is that the lack of formal commitment and th...
228
1.74K reads
Friendships: Keep showing up
Once you've initiated some new contact, the next challenge is turning them into regular friendships.
It is easier to sign up for activities where you have multiple opportunities to connect with the same people continually. If you want to make friends, you should commit to showing u...
228
1.02K reads
Turn initial meetings into friendship
- Find an event. Sign up for something ongoing (such as a book club or a hiking group) and commit to showing up.
- Prepare yourself to interact. Do something to put you in a good mood. Think about the strengths you bring - if you're funny, deep, insigh...
237
920 reads
Busyness and the risk of becoming friendless
The busyness of many people's adult lives can cause them to quickly lose contact with friends.
One study found that people had lost touch with about half of their closest friends over a period of seven years. What's more is that we are often losing friends faster than ...
207
1.23K reads
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If music is your love language, find someone who understands your undying need to spend your weekends hula-hooping in neon lights.
MORE LIKE THIS
Tips for a “do nothing” day
- Set the day aside and make it known to people close to you so that they can support you.
- Don't stress about it. Wake up, and resist the urge to do stuff.
- Pay attention. Notice when you have an urge to check your phone or m...
Making Friends In A New Country
- Being Persistent: Try to join the local gym or yoga class, any morning or evening routine that regularly makes you be with the same people(apart from the office). The key to developing new friendships is to stay regular and persistent in the places you shop, exercis...
Enhance your Relationships
- Give your undivided attention. Put away the cell phone, set aside your task list and quiet your internal monologue.
- Check your personal agenda at the door. Resist the urge to chime in with your parallel experience and let their story play out.
- Give space and ...
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