The Secure Attachment Style - Deepstash
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De-escalate Office Tension

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The Secure Attachment Style

The Secure Attachment Style

It’s likely your primary caretaker was able to stay engaged with you as an infant and effectively manage their own stress as well as calm and soothe you when you were distressed. Having a secure attachment style might look like this:

  • You’re able to be yourself in an intimate relationship.
  • You’re comfortable expressing your feelings and needs.
  • You’re able to maintain your emotional balance and seek healthy ways to manage conflict.
  • When faced with setbacks you’re resilient enough to bounce back.

306

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How Attachment Styles Affect Adult Relationships

How Attachment Styles Affect Adult Relationships

Whatever your specific relationship problems, it’s important to know that your brain remains capable of change throughout life.

By identifying your attachment style, you can learn to challenge your insecurities, develop a more securely attached way of relating to others, and build stronge...

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2.27K reads

Avoidant Attachment Style

Avoidant Attachment Style

An avoidant attachment style often stems from a parent who was unavailable or rejecting during your infancy. Since your needs were never regularly or predictably met by your caregiver, you were forced to self-soothe.

As someone with an avoidant-dismissive attachment style:

  • You...

304

1.19K reads

Disorganized Attachment Style

Disorganized Attachment Style

Your parental figure may have ignored or overlooked your needs as an infant, or their erratic, chaotic behavior could have been frightening or traumatizing to you.

If you have a disorganized attachment style, you’ve likely never learned to self-soothe your emotions:

  • You swing ...

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1.06K reads

What Attachment Is

What Attachment Is

Attachment is the emotional connection you formed as an infant with your primary caregiver—probably your mother.

According to attachment theory, pioneered by British psychiatrist John Bowlby and American psychologist Mary Ainsworth, the quality of the bonding you experien...

304

1.34K reads

Getting Help for Insecure Attachment

Getting Help for Insecure Attachment

If you recognize an insecure attachment style in either yourself or your romantic partner, here's what you can do:

  • A therapist can help you make sense of your past emotional experience and become more secure.
  • Improve your nonverbal communication skills
  • Boost your em...

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1.09K reads

Attachment Styles and How They Shape Adult Relationships

Attachment Styles and How They Shape Adult Relationships

The infant brain is so profoundly influenced by the attachment bond. Understanding your attachment style can offer vital clues as to why you may be having problems in your adult relationships. There arefour main attachment styles:

  • Secure attachment
  • Ambivalent (or anxious-pre...

292

1.41K reads

Ambivalent or Anxious Attachment Style

Ambivalent or Anxious Attachment Style

It’s likely your parent or primary caregiver was inconsistent in their parenting style, sometimes engaged and responsive to your needs as an infant, other times unavailable or distracted.

People with an ambivalent attachment style tend to be overly needy:

  • You may find it diffi...

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1.22K reads

CURATED FROM

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claudiaflorescu

Psychotherapist, CBT fanatic, community organizer, active citizen

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Secure Attachment Style

  • People with this style are comfortable showing interest and affection. 
  • They are comfortable being alone and independent.
  • They can correctly prioritize their relationships.
  • They are able to draw clear boundaries and stick with them.

50% of the population i...

The Secure Attachment Style

  • With a secure attachment style, you are comfortable with showing and accepting vulnerability.
  • You are self-aware: you know who you are are you are comfortable in your skin.
  • You don’t really worry about being lonely or if people accept you, and being connected to others is as ...

Secure Attachment Style

  • When a partner has a secure attachment style, they feel comfortable and confident in their relationship and in their significant other.
  • There is a feeling of connectedness, trust, and freedom as both the partners let the other have independence and...

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