Realize that everything isn't about you - Deepstash

Realize that everything isn't about you

It’s very easy to fall into the trap of thinking that criticism or verbal attacks you receive are about you or something you did.

And so we usually release some pent up emotions and tensions at somebody who is simply in the wrong place at the wrong time

Remind yourself of this when you wind up in a situation where you are likely to take things personally.

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MORE IDEAS FROM How to Not Take Things So Personally: 6 Helpful Habits

This one can be a tough one to ask yourself. And it may not always lead to something.

But by asking it you can sometimes empower yourself.

Instead of getting stuck in inaction and in replaying what happened over and over again in your head.

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Get Clarification

Don’t jump to conclusions based on what you may have just misunderstood.

Instead, ask questions if possible to help clarify a bit about what the other person meant.

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Breathe

Just focus on your breathing for a minute or two.

Focus only on the air going in and out of your nose. Nothing else.

  • This helps you to calm your mind and body down a bit.

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When something gets under your skin and you start to take it personally then you can get stuck in a negative spiral of sinking self-esteem that just gets stronger and stronger.

Break out of that or prevent it by letting what happened out into the light. Talk it over with someone close to you and let your friend share her perspective on what happened.

Maybe she knows something about how the person that verbally attacked you is going through a tough time.

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Improve your self-esteem

...is to be kinder to the people in your own life.

The way you treat other people is how they will most often treat you too in the long run.

You may find that as we don’t take them so personally and we keep a healthier perspective and distance to them.

And so they tend bounce off quicker and not drag my day or week down.

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RELATED IDEA

Speak Kindly To Yourself

When you try to help another person you probably don’t start with a critical attack towards them about everything they’ve done wrong or aren’t good at. Yet, so often we speak harshly to ourselves in our own minds.

Being your own hero means standing up for yourself when critical self-talk and negative spirals of thinking are starting up in your head.

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Say stop to your inner critic.

We all have an inner critic.

You can do this by creating a stop-word or stop-phrase.

  • As the critic says something – in your mind – shout: STOP!
  • Or No, no, no, we are not going there.

Then refocus your thoughts to something more constructive. Like planning what you want to eat for dinner or your tactic for the next soccer game.

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Humans are personal.

Every one of us has a tender underbelly of our psyche. Everyone has something they’re sensitive about, where even a gentle poke can feel more like a thwack. Comments don’t slide off like water from a duck’s back; rather, we feel more like a sitting duck.

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