Persuading People - Deepstash

Persuading People

People will do what you want them to do if they want to do it. They are not doing stuff based on our motivation, but only if they want to get something out of it.

You have to tell the person what’s in it for them and be genuine and positive about the same.

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MORE IDEAS FROM Dale Carnegie’s Tips for Improving Your Social Skills

The best way to win an argument is to avoid it. Two egos are head-to-head in an argument, and both are trying to defend their turf.

The result, even if you win the argument, is resentment and negativity from the other person.

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We are building self-doubt by caring about what people think, something which holds us back to do what we want to do.

We need to accomplish something that will be admired, but not be bothered by what people say or think during the entire process. Most people do not care about you and are too busy in their ups and downs. We need to unchain ourselves from other people and put positive feelings inside us, showing it in our words and actions.

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We are emotional creatures, not logical ones. Most interactions in life are based on emotions. And body language and voice tone make up for more than 90 percent of communication.

We need to be in a positive mood while interacting, which positively impacts our relationships and our results.

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We are too dependent and reliant on external validation, and like to be measured by the ratings, book sales, likes, retweets, and other types of communication that seem to applaud us, and show that we are smart, pretty, or successful.

This makes others take control of your emotions and brings you on an emotional roller coaster. We need to be emotionally stable and cultivate emotional muscles that help us be optimistic and enthusiastic in all kinds of weather.

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Most people are criticizing, condemning, and complaining, as these three C’s offer us a twisted pleasure.

There is negativity hidden in these three C’s which is lowering your mood, motivation, and wellbeing, pulling you inside a negative spiral of emotions.

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Emotions Work Backwards

Positive emotions and enthusiasm are useful and contagious. If we are stuck in a negative emotion we can shake it off by changing our body, moving, sitting or standing.

If we want to be enthusiastic, we can act enthusiastically and suddenly we will be the same.

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When we stop talking about ourselves and listen to others, we will come across as great talkers and communicators.

Actively listening and responding meaningfully is the best way to win a friend. Let people talk about their ideas, children, hobbies, etc.

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The world evaluates and classifies us in the following four ways:

  1. What we do.
  2. How we look.
  3. What we say.
  4. How we say it.

We are mostly focused on what we say but are ignoring or putting less emphasis on the other three. The world will reflect back to you all these four ways of contact, according to our own efforts in each one.

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We can make great friends by being genuinely interested in other people, rather than trying to get people to be interested in us.

If you treat people nicely and are interested in them, they will be interested in you. You can make use of your body language, words, and voice tonality for ensuring the same.

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RELATED IDEA

John T. Reed, a real estate investor, looked into the accuracy of Kiyosaki's best-selling book and found it inaccurate:

  • The Rich Dad is most likely an invention. It's unlikely for an entrepreneur to succeed in construction, restaurants, and convenience stores. Authors history also doesn't match up.
  • Previously Kiyosaki named at least 2 other people as "the best teacher I ever had", making the same claim about the "Rich Dad" sound false.

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Epictetus

“Man is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problems.”

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Our inner 'demons'

Our inner Demons, or inner voices, make us do irrational, stupid and selfish things, based out of fear.

We hide and distract ourselves from our inner voice, which is nothing but our fear and insecurities, talking to us.

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