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Managing Control of Emotions - Thrive Global

Emotions are present at all times

Most emotions arise unconsciously as ways of adapting to changes in the environment or in our own mind.

We are emotional beings and there is no experience that does not receive the impact, softer or more intense, of our affective life.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

Managing Control of Emotions - Thrive Global

Managing Control of Emotions - Thrive Global

https://thriveglobal.com/stories/managing-control-of-emotions/

thriveglobal.com

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Key Ideas

Emotions are present at all times

Most emotions arise unconsciously as ways of adapting to changes in the environment or in our own mind.

We are emotional beings and there is no experience that does not receive the impact, softer or more intense, of our affective life.

Afflictive emotions

Within the universe of Mindfulness (following Buddhism), these are emotions that arise in reaction to an experience of displeasure or discomfort in our life, and that make us react without more control of the mind.

Afflictive emotions are not the basic ones of our human condition, like fear, anguish or the most primary anger, but what we do with them.

The loss of emotional regulation brings:

  • Non-acceptance of emotional response (reacting to the expression of emotion)
  • Difficulty to commit to planned goals (by the irruption of afflictive emotion)
  • Difficulty in controlling impulses (not being able to inhibit)
  • Lack of emotional awareness (not being able to name it, label it)
  • Limited access to emotional regulation strategies (not knowing how to regain control over afflictive emotion)
  • Lack of emotional clarity (not being able to discern the emotions that appear)

Mindfulness can bring improvements in all of these facets.

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Emotions

They are basal responses that begin in the subcortical areas of the brain responsible for producing biochemical reactions to environmental stimuli that have a direct impact on our physical state.&n...

Feelings

Feelings are preceded by emotions and tend to be our reactions to them. Emotions are a more generalized experience across humans, but feelings are more subjective and influenced by our personal experiences and interpretations, thus they are harder to measure.

Negative Emotions

They can be defined as unpleasant or unhappy emotions evoked in individuals to express a negative effect towards something.

Although some are labeled negative, all emotions are normal to the human experience. And it’s important to understand when and why negative emotions might arise, and develop positive behaviors to address them.

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Emotional clarity

It means that we have a good understanding of how we feel emotionally. 

Label your emotions

Use plain language. The more fluent you are with real emotional language, the more clearly you will be able to think about how you’re feeling.

Clarify your emotions

Get used to the idea of emotional complexity. When we feel upset, we're not feeling one single emotion. We are usually experiencing a blend of many emotions.

Training ourselves to look for and see this emotional complexity is key to better understanding ourselves when we’re upset and moving on in a healthy way.

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Emotional Regulation

It means having the skills to control your behavior, emotions and thoughts in the pursuit of long-term goals.

Emotional regulation skills enable us to live a healthy and well-bala...

Applying The Power Of Choice

You have to recognize that you have the choice in how you react to situations.

This will empower you to work with the challenges that you face in your life: you'll have clarity, focus and a purpose.

The STOPP Technique

... to control your emotions:

  • S – Stop
  • T – Take A Breath
  • O – Observe – your thoughts and feelings
  • P- Pull Back – put in some perspective – what is the bigger picture?
  • P – Practice What Works – Proceed – what is the best thing to do right now?

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A Zen Parable
There was a man riding on a horse. When a man walking on the road asks him where he is going, the rider replies, “Why are you asking me? You should ask the horse.”

The ho...

Emotional Intelligence

The ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions. -Salovey and Mayer (1990)

Emotional Mastery

It manifests itself in the kind of statements we make about ourselves, in relation to our emotional skills and success.

Qualities such as confidence, awareness and optimism, come under the umbrella of emotional intelligence. 

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Gain Control Over Your Mood
  • Label Your Emotions: There are times that you might feel different emotions. Pay attention to what's really going on inside you to help you take a lot of sting out of that em...
Mood Control = Positive Outlook

Emotions are powerful and managing it is tough at times. But by gaining control over them makes you mentally stronger.

You'll gain confidence in your ability to handle discomfort while also knowing that you can make healthy choices that shift your mood.

Reappraising Conversations
Imagining a conversation as a game you are to score as many points as you can. 
6: Shared feeling/experience (that’s when acquaintances become friends)
5: Confirmation of an emotion’s legi...
Don’t Be Self-Centered

It’s key to connecting with people to suspend your ego; to put your own needs, wants and opinions aside. Anxiety does the opposite bringing your feelings and expectations to the forefront.

Focus on the other person. Simply listen to what they have to say and ask them to tell you more. 

Reappraisal

Just because you feel it doesn’t make it real. Feelings come from beliefs. Change the beliefs and feelings will change.

Research and anecdotal evidence show that the simple act of positively reimagining something can be enough to decrease anxiety.

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Make room for your emotions
Make room for your emotions

Rumi, the 13th-century Sufi poet, compared emotions to unexpected visitors. 

We're supposed to let them in and not hide from them, suppress them or pretend they do not exist.

Gaining peace of mind

In a society that promotes gratitude and positivity, there is pressure to suppress or conceal negative feelings.

But psychological studies reveal that acceptance of your negative feelings promotes emotional resilience, with fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety.

The magic of acceptance

Acceptance of negative emotions involves not trying to change how we feel but taking them for what they are.

Acceptance works because it blunts the emotional reactions to stressful events. In time, it can lead to positive psychological health.

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Emotional intelligence (EQ)

EQ is the ability to be able to recognize and regulate your own emotions, while also empathizing with others and maintaining an awareness of their reactions.

EQ can be developed with p...

Know thyself

Having a deep understanding of yourself provides you with more accurate perceptions of how you are coming across to others. 

To increase your self-awareness, make an effort to reflect on your strengths, developmental opportunities, triggers, values, and the like so that you are intimately familiar with what makes you tick. 

Be open to feedback and criticism

Weighing feedback can help you guard against blind spots. It can assist you in recognizing if your behaviors are having the effects you are intending.

If they aren't, you can adjust your actions or apologize accordingly (or mindfully choose not to do either).

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What Emotional Fitness is

It's the idea that in order to lead healthy, happy emotional lives we need consistent habits and exercises that support our mental health and wellbeing.

The Benefits of Emotional Fitness
  • Decreased stress: you learn to manage your triggers.
  • Better communication in relationships: it helps you to tolerate and manage difficult emotions and then find more productive ways to work through difficulties.
  • Decreased anxiety: you train your mind to stop fearing its own emotional reactions.
  • You stick with your goals: you learn to deal with emotions like anxiety, shame, regret.
  • Increased self-awareness: you learn to build a better relationship with your emotions.
Get to know your emotions
  • Emotional clarity: Taking the time to deliberately reflect on our emotions, to observe and label them.
  • Emotional myth-busting: Eliminating myths and misconceptions floating around people’s minds about emotions. 
  • Emotional tolerance: Learning to resist short-term gratification and instead invest in long-term values.

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Negative Emotions at Work

Recounting the things that made us miserable one day doesn’t help us enjoy our workday more tomorrow.

A better strategy is to actually address the negative feelings we have.

Emotion regulation strategies
  • Mindful acceptance: Let be the things you cannot change. Write out a list of the things you can and cannot control. Acknowledge your emotions but don't hold on to them.
  • Self-distancing: Observe your situation like a “fly on the wall”.  Mentally remove yourself from the situation that is causing negative emotions. Being like a fly on the wall helps to cultivate a broader perspective.
  • Reappraisal: Find the positives in negative situations. Learn to pause in the face of something negative and think of or write down at least one positive.
  • Practice makes perfect.  Try these techniques in easier practice situations, and you will build your emotion regulation ability, so that you’re more prepared to handle the tougher situations.