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We tend to adopt habits that are praised and approved of by our culture because we have a strong desire to fit in and belong to the tribe.
We tend to imitiate the habits of:
Surround yourself with people who have the habits you want to have yourself. You'll rise together.
Even better if you already have something in common with the group. Nothing sustains motivation better than belonging to the tribe.
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If you want to master a habit, the key is to start with repetition, not perfection. When you're in motion, you're planning and strategizing and learning. Those are all good things, but they don't produce a result. You're just preparing to get something done. The most effective fo...
"When you start a new habit, it should take less than two minutes to do."
Instead of trying to engineer a perfect habit from the start, do the easy thing on a more consistent basis.
The more you ritualize the beginning of a process, the more likely it become...
You can break a habit, but you're unlikely to forget it. And that means that simply resisting temptation is an eneffective strategy.
To eliminate a bad habit, reduce exposure to the cue that causes it.
We are more likely to repeat a behaviour when the experience is satisfying.
The consequences of bad habits are delayed while the rewards are immediate. With good habits, it is the reverse: the immediate outcome is unenjoyable, but the ultimate outcome feels good.
We are less likely to repeat a bad habit if it is painful or unsatisfying.
Create a habit contract:
"Can one coin make a person rich? If you give a person a pile of ten coins, you wouldn't claim that he or she is rich. But what if you add another? And another? And another? At some point, you will have to admit that no one can be rich unless one coin can make him or h...
Once our habits become automatic, we stop paying attention to what we are doing.
You need to be aware of your habits before you can change them.
The Habits Scorecard is a simple exercise to become more aware of your behaviour, by creating a list of your daily habits and categ...
Behaviour that is incongruent with the self will not last. You might start a habit because of motivation, but the only reason you'll stick with one is that it becomes part of your identity.
The more pride you have in a particular aspect of your identity, the more motivated you will be to ma...
We will naturally gravitate toward the option that requires the least amount of work.
Reduce the friction associated with good behaviours:
The human brain evolved to prioritize immediate rewards over delayed rewards.
Our preference for instant gratification reveals an important truth about success: because of how we are wired, most people will spend all day chasing quick hits of satisfaction. The road less traveled is the road...
Habits are easier to perform, and more satisfying to stick with, when they align with your personality and skills.
Trial and error:
As you explore different options, there are a series of questions you can ask yourself to continually narrow in on the habits and areas that will be most...
Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress.
It is so easy to overestimate the importance of one defining moment and underestimate the value of making small improvements on a daily basis. Too often, we convince ourselves that a massive success requires massive action.
We often dismiss small changes because they don't seem to matter ve...
A small change in what you see can lead to a big shift in what you do.
Every habit is initiated by a cue, and we are more likely to notice cues that stand out.
The 2nd law (Craving)
The process of building a habit can be divided into four steps:
It is the anticipation of a reward, not the fulfillment of it, that gets us to take action. It is the craving that leads to the response.
Temptation bundling: It consists of linking an action you want to do with an action you need to do.
After I [HABIT I NEED]...
People who make a specific plan for when and where they will perform a new habit are more likely to follow through. Many people think they lack motivation when what they really lack is clarity.
I will [NEW HABIT] at [TIME] in [LOCATION]
Mastery is the process of narrowing your focus to a tiny element of success, repeating it until you have internalized the skill, and then using a new habit to advance to the next level of performance.
Habits + Deliberate Practice = Mastery
Life is constantly ...
"The costs of your good habits are in the present. The costs of your bad habits are in the future"
The 3rd law (Response)
Humans experience peak motivation when working on tasks that are right on the edge of their current abilities. Not too hard. Not too easy. Just manageable difficulty.
The greateast threat to success is not failure but boredom. We get bored with habits becau...
People make a few small changes, fail to see a tangible result, and decide to stop. But in order to make a meaningful difference, habits need to to persist long enough to break through this plateau.
If you find yourself struggling to build a good habit or break a bad one, i...
"Success is not a goal to reach or a finish line to cross. It is a system to improve, an endless process to refine."
The 1st law (Cue)
Create a commitment device:
Is a choice you make in the present that controls your actions in the future and increases the odds that you'll do the right thing.
"When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that last blow that did it-but all that had gone be...
The 4th law (Reward)
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We tend to imitate the habits of three social groups: the close (family and friends), the many (the tribe), and the powerful (those with status and prestige).
One of the most effective things you can do to build better habits is to join a culture wh...
Working to build a better self almost always means working to build a better community or tribe with which you surround it.
The people with whom you surround yourself have a tremendous impact on your life. In several ways, they shape your thinking and become the reason for your motiv...
Honestly, I could do much better with this habit. I’m naturally an introvert, so I tend to forget to reach out to my most ambitious and positive friends. I should do this much more often.
However, I’ve noticed that those days in which I talk to my type-a friends (the ones who dream big, sp...
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