How To Confront Someone When You Hate Confrontation
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"Avoidance builds a wall between us and others - if we cannot speak with respectful honesty, we cannot build a close relationship."
When we avoid confronting people or certain situations we can metaphorically think of ourselves as a kettle, where our negative feelings about the situation will bound to seep out regardless of how hard we try to ignore them.
It will show in the form of resentment, hostility, or passive aggression.
Fearing confrontation never does anybody good, especially to ourselves.
When we don't advocate for ourselves we will never be able to meet our needs. Surely, avoiding confrontation gives us temporary relief from our anxieties but it will not benefit us in the long run because the problem will keep hanging over our heads.
We may associate confrontation with heated arguments and doomed relationships, but confrontation can be quite healthy for the people involved when approached with kindness mixed with assertiveness, can be quiet healthy for people involved.
Start thinking of confrontation as a situation where you can have a radically honest conversation with the other person that could bring you closer or express deep concern and a negotiation where you could both win.
Does the short-term reward of being relieved really pay off more than the long-term reward of "being done with it"?
A couple of hours of discomfort is a small price to pay for the peace of mind you'll be able to enjoy afterward.
"You have a need, want, or opinion, and you have every right to express it."
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