The damaging effects of avoidance - Deepstash
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The damaging effects of avoidance

When we avoid confronting people or certain situations we can metaphorically think of ourselves as a kettle, where our negative feelings about the situation will bound to seep out regardless of how hard we try to ignore them.

It will show in the form of resentment, hostility, or passive aggression.

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Reward yourself

  • Even if the overall outcome isn't what you expected, don't be too hard on yourself and give yourself credit for what you have done right.
  • Acknowledge your good and treat yourself to a little something that indulges you.
  • Learn how to reevaluate how you measure success and f...

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341 reads

Focus on what you have to say

  • Before confronting anyone, make sure that you have your feelings in check. Be specific about what you are feeling. Vagueness never does good.
  • List the things that upset you and bother you - from people to emotions, to unmet needs. You'll be able to bring even more clarity to the is...

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413 reads

"Avoidance builds a wall between us and others - if we cannot speak with respectful honesty, we cannot build a close relationship."

ELLEN HENDRIKSEN

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738 reads

Confrontation is not a bad thing

We may associate confrontation with heated arguments and doomed relationships, but confrontation can be quite healthy for the people involved when approached with kindness mixed with assertiveness, can be quiet healthy for people involved.

Start thinking of confrontation a...

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451 reads

"You have a need, want, or opinion, and you have every right to express it."

RYAN HOWES

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553 reads

Collaboration over competition

  • During the confrontation, refrain from attacking the other person's character and keep the focus on your feelings. Confrontation shouldn't be a competition between who's right and wrong.
  • Express what you think and how you feel in a respectful manner. Remember that if you were being...

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326 reads

Afraid of confrontation

Afraid of confrontation

Fearing confrontation never does anybody good, especially to ourselves.

When we don't advocate for ourselves we will never be able to meet our needs. Surely, avoiding confrontation gives us temporary relief from our anxieties but it will not benefit us in the long ...

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1.54K reads

The delayed gratification of confrontation

Does the short-term reward of being relieved really pay off more than the long-term reward of "being done with it"?

A couple of hours of discomfort is a small price to pay for the peace of mind you'll be able to enjoy afterward.

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376 reads

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isabelg

I love creating music, coffee, and film. Always strive for perfection.

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  • Trying to avoid negative emotions just to appear youthful or thin or even eternally positive can eventually have a psychological cost.
  • Other people can detect a fake smile. Try to make your smile real for yourself.

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