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“Yes. What should I deprioritize?”
Saying no to a senior leader at work is almost unthinkable, even laughable, for many people. However, when saying yes is going to compromise your ability to make the highest level of contribution to your work, it is also your obligation. In this case it is not only reasonable to say no, it is essential. One effective way to do that is to remind your superiors what you would be neglecting if you said yes and force them to grapple with the trade-off.
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The Awkward Pause
Use awkward pauses as a tool to say no. When a request comes to you (this works only in person), just pause for a moment. Count to three before delivering your verdict.
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Using E-mail Bouncebacks
Using email bouncebacks is the most socially acceptable “no” there is. It doesn't mean you're telling them that you don't want to respond to them. It only states that you can't reply for a certain period of time.
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“Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.”
JOSH BILLINGS
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Saying "No" With Humor
Saying "no" with humor will lessen the awkwardness and will lighten up the atmosphere.
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“Let me check my calendar and get back to you”
It gives you the time to pause and reflect and ultimately reply that if you are or are not available. It enables you to take back control of your own decisions rather than be rushed into a “yes” when you are asked.
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The Soft "No" ("No, But")
E-mail is also a good way to start practicing saying "no but" because it gives you the chance to draft and redraft your "no" to make it as graceful as possible. Plus, many people find that the distance of e-mail reduces the fear of awkwardness.
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“You are welcome to X. I am willing to Y”
This is a particularly good way to navigate a request you would like to support somewhat but cannot throw your full weight behind. I particularly like this construct because it also expresses a respect for the other person's ability to choose, as well as your own. It reminds both parties o...
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“I can’t do it, but X might be interested”
It is tempting to think that our help is uniquely invaluable, but often people requesting something don't really care if we're the ones who help them- as long as they get the help.
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"The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything."
WARREN BUFFETT
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Find your yes
Before you can become good at saying no, you have to know what you're saying yes to when you're saying no. Every opportunity that you pass with a no is really saying yes to something else.
And if you feel like saying yes, ask for time to think about it before providing an answer. It...
Essentialism
It is based on the idea that only once you give yourself permission to stop trying to do it all, to stop saying yes to everyone, can you make your highest contribution towards the things that really matter.
Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No
- Saying No Doesn’t Mean You’re a Bad Person: Saying no doesn't mean that you are being rude, selfish, or unkind. These are all unhelpful beliefs that make it hard to say no. Learning where these beliefs have come from is a great way to learn to let go of them.
- Knowing Your V...
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