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How to Win Friends and Influence People: The Best Summary
Techniques in Handling People
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6 ways to make people like you
- Become sincerely interested in other people.
- Smile.
- Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
- Make the other person feel important.
Win people to your way of thinking
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Never say, “You’re wrong.” Respect the other person’s opinions.
- If you are wrong, admit it.
- Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- Try to see things from the other person’s point of view.
- Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw down a challenge.
Change People Without Offense
- Give praise and honest appreciation.
- Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Praise the slightest improvement.
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
- Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Dale Carnegie
"When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity."
Dale Carnegie
"The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it."
Dale Carnegie
"If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own."
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Dale Carnegie
Handling People
- Don’t criticize, condemn or complain. People learn faster and retain knowledge more effectively when rewarded for good behavior than punished for bad behavior.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation. The only way to get a person to do anything is by giving them what they want.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want. The only way to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
Appreciation and flattery
- Flattery is selfish and insincere. It’s cheap praise. You tell the other person precisely what he thinks about himself.
- Appreciation is unselfish and sincere. It happens when we stop thinking about ourselves and begin to think of the other person’s good points.
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7
Key Ideas
Dale Carnegie’s advice to make people like you
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Smile.
- Remember names.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the ot...
Actively showing interest in other people
When people speak, the best responses are both active and constructive: engaged, enthusiastic, curious and has supportive nonverbal action. Ask questions. Be excited. Ask for details. Smile. Touch. Laugh.
It's a powerful technique - it makes you more liked and people more receptive to your requests.
Smiling does make you more attractive
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Key Ideas
Influence is power
No matter who you are, where you work, or what your professional goals are, achieving more influence in the workplace is critical for success.
But gaining that influence, like learning...
Build Trust
Influence is most often and most easily carried through trust: only when a co-worker trusts you will he or she be open to your influence.
The easiest way to do that is to be honest, no matter what. State your opinions, disclose your apprehensions, and don't keep secrets.
Reliability Through Consistency
Inconsistency is the fastest way to ruin your reputation. Consistency, on the other hand, is slow but sure: if you execute your tasks effectively and on time, day after day, eventually people will come to rely on you.
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