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How to Win Friends and Influence People: The Best Summary

6 ways to make people like you

  1. Become sincerely interested in other people.
  2. Smile.
  3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
  6. Make the other person feel important.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

How to Win Friends and Influence People: The Best Summary

How to Win Friends and Influence People: The Best Summary

https://fs.blog/2012/07/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people/

fs.blog

7

Key Ideas

Techniques in Handling People

  • Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
  • Give honest and sincere appreciation.
  • Arouse in the other person an eager want.
  • 6 ways to make people like you

    1. Become sincerely interested in other people.
    2. Smile.
    3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
    4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
    5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
    6. Make the other person feel important.

    Win people to your way of thinking

    • The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
    • Never say, “You’re wrong.” Respect the other person’s opinions.
    • If you are wrong, admit it.
    • Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
    • Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
    • Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
    • Try to see things from the other person’s point of view.
    • Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
    • Appeal to the nobler motives.
    • Dramatize your ideas.
    • Throw down a challenge.

    Change People Without Offense

    • Give praise and honest appreciation.
    • Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
    • Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
    • Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
    • Praise the slightest improvement.
    • Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
    • Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
    • Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

    Dale Carnegie

    Dale Carnegie

    "When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity."

    Dale Carnegie

    Dale Carnegie

    "The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it." 

    Dale Carnegie

    Dale Carnegie

    "If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own."

    SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

    Dale Carnegie

    “When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatur..."

    Dale Carnegie
    Handling People
    • Don’t criticize, condemn or complain. People learn faster and retain knowledge more effectively when rewarded for good behavior than punished for bad behavior.
    • Give honest and sincere appreciation. The only way to get a person to do anything is by giving them what they want.
    • Arouse in the other person an eager want. The only way to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
    Appreciation and flattery
    • Flattery is selfish and insincere. It’s cheap praise. You tell the other person precisely what he thinks about himself.
    • Appreciation is unselfish and sincere. It happens when we stop thinking about ourselves and begin to think of the other person’s good points.

    4 more ideas

    Dale Carnegie’s advice to make people like you
    1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
    2. Smile.
    3. Remember names. 
    4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
    5. Talk in terms of the ot...
    Actively showing interest in other people

    When people speak, the best responses are both active and constructiveengaged, enthusiastic, curious and has supportive nonverbal action. Ask questions. Be excited. Ask for details. Smile. Touch. Laugh.

    It's a powerful technique - it makes you more liked and people more receptive to your requests.

    Smiling does make you more attractive
    And by smiling we influence others to smile. People judge things more positively while smiling, so our own smile can set off a chain reaction causing more positive encounters.

    4 more ideas

    Influence is power

    No matter who you are, where you work, or what your professional goals are, achieving more influence in the workplace is critical for success.

    But gaining that influence, like learning...

    Build Trust

    Influence is most often and most easily carried through trust: only when a co-worker trusts you will he or she be open to your influence.

    The easiest way to do that is to be honest, no matter what. State your opinions, disclose your apprehensions, and don't keep secrets. 

    Reliability Through Consistency

    Inconsistency is the fastest way to ruin your reputation. Consistency, on the other hand, is slow but sure: if you execute your tasks effectively and on time, day after day, eventually people will come to rely on you.

    5 more ideas

    Spend time with furry friends

    Play fetch with Fido or sneak in a few cuddles with your kitten. 

    Interacting with your pets can release oxytocin in the brain ― you know, the “warm and fuzzy” hormone ― resulting...

    Count your blessings

    There’s nothing like a little thankfulness to boost your mood. Research shows expressing gratitude can make you happier

    Try writing down three things you’re thankful for at the end of each night.

    Remind yourself how great you are

     Studies show self-acceptance is crucial to a happier life, but it’s a habit we barely practice.

    13 more ideas

    3 Ways to influence
    3 Ways to influence
    • Logical appeals tap into people’s rational and intellectual positions. 
    • Emotional appeals connect your message, goal, or project to individual goals and values..
    To choose an influencing tactics:
    • Assess the situation. Be clear about whom you need to influence and what you want to accomplish.
    • Know your audience. Identify and understand your stakeholders and their needs. 
    • Review your ability. What tactics do you use most often?  What new tactics could you try in this situation? 
    • Brainstorm your approach. What tactics would work best? Which logical appeals will be most effective? How could you make an emotional or cooperative appeal?  etc. 
    Forms of manipulation

    We are continually subject to manipulation. For instance:

    • Gaslighting: It involves encouraging someone to doubt their own judgment and to rely on the manipulator's advice ins...
    Manipulation
    Manipulation often harms. Manipulative phishing and other scams make identity theft possible; manipulative social tactics can support unhealthy relationships.

    Manipulation is wrong because it involves immoral techniques. It means treating the other as mere objects and not as a rational being.

    When influence is manipulative

    Influence is manipulative depending on how it is being used.

    If the manipulator attempts to get someone to adopt what the manipulator himself regards as wrong, it resembles lying. The liar tries to get you to choose a false belief or to make a mistake in what he thinks, feels, doubts or pays attention to.

    one more idea

    Why We Give Criticism
    • To help someone improve. Sometimes criticism is actual honest feedback.
    • To see a change that we would like. If we regularly read a magazine or blog, for example, there mi...
    Why Criticism Hurts or Angers
    • The criticism is mean-spirited. If you use insulting or degrading language or put down the person in any way, they will focus on that, and not on the rest of the criticism.
    • If you focus on the person instead of their actions, you will make them angry or defensive or hurt.
    • They assume you’re attacking them. Some people can’t take criticism in a detached, non-personal way. 
    • They assume they’re right. Many people don’t like to hear that they’re wrong, whether it’s true or not.
    How to Deliver Criticism Kindly
    • Don’t attack attack, insult, or be mean in any way
    • Talk about actions or things, not the person.
    • Don’t tell the person he’s wrong.
    • Don’t criticize at all. Give a positive suggestion instead.

    3 more ideas

    Influence at work

    To be effective in organizations today, you must be able to influence people. Your title alone isn’t always enough to sway others, nor do you always have a formal position.

    Having infl...

    Build connections

    Work on cultivating personal connections with your colleagues, and allow them to get to know you. 

    You don’t have to be “the greatest person in the room” or make sure “everyone is blown away by your charisma.” You just need to have good rapport with your colleagues. That way, they won’t impute negative intentions or motives to you.

    Listen before you try to persuade
    The best way to prime colleagues for backing you and your agenda is to make them feel heard. 

    Start by giving them your undivided attention in one-on-one situations. Turn your body toward the other person, freeze in place, and listen.

    4 more ideas

    “People seldom refuse help, if one offers it in the right way.”

    A. C. Benson.

    On Giving Constructive Criticism

    Sharing and receiving feedback is necessary for improvement. If you have ideas on how someone can improve, don’t hold your ideas back, share your criticism constructively.

    Of course, be sensitive to others’ feelings and offer feedback when you feel the other person is ready to take it. Else, you may come across as imposing your views on others, especially if you repeatedly tell them what to do without them requesting it.

    1. Use The Feedback Sandwich

    Also known as PIP (Positive-Improvement-Positive), it consists of “sandwiching” a critic between two positive comments in the following manner:

    1. Start by focusing on the strengths — what you like about the item in question.
    2. Then, provide the criticism — things you don’t like and areas of improvement.
    3. Lastly, round off the feedback with (a) a reiteration of the positive comments you began with and (b) the positive results that can be expected if the criticism is acted upon.

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