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The Spotlight Effect

The Spotlight Effect

The Spotlight Effect

It refers to our tendency to overestimate how much other people notice about us: we tend to think there is a spotlight on us, highlighting all of our mistakes or flaws, for all the world to see.

The spotlight effect is the result of egocentrism: we see our entire existence from our own experiences and perspective. And we use those experiences to evaluate the world around us, including other people.

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Instagram grabs your attention

For the most part, people on Instagram seem positive and content. They are earnest and sincere. 

But, scrolling through Instagram can quickly turn to an hour, which can feel like...

Instagram subculture

Following a genre on Instagram can present a wealth of ideas. The algorithm drives users toward content similar to what they've seen or liked. However, this can lead and encourage users toward extremities. 

For instance, if you are following fitness gurus or sponsored athletes. Then add some photo-editing to alter the body-image you want to project. At the same time, the algorithm continues to feed you with what you like or want until your feed becomes a mosaic of increasingly extreme exercisers.

A form of manipulation
  • Instagram is in the business of data-collection and media selling. It's estimated value is more than $100bn (£77bn).
  • Third-party indexing tools glean data from what is posted and sell it in the form of brand analytics, as information for governments, security and surveillance firms, and corporations.
  • Images posted to Instagram are used to train its proprietary image-recognition software.
  • Instagram follows your movements across the Internet, and you find hints that it is stalking you. 
Motivation is a muscle that we need to build
Motivation is a muscle that we need to build

Motivation does not happen to us. It is a muscle that we need to build. After an inspirational talk, we might feel motivated for a while but will fall back to our old routines.

Wha...

How to set the motivation flywheel in action

Knowing what keeps you back is as valuable as determining how to get started.

  • What are the bottlenecks to get you started?
  • What can cause you to stop once you start?
  • How do you know what to do once you get started?
  • What if you're not capable of achieving your goals?
  • How would you know if you're making progress?
Don’t wait until you're ready, start today
  • Even if you don't feel like it, take control by starting today.
  • Shift your mental energy from thinking to doing.
  • Believe there's no better day to start than today.
  • Set a micro goal for today without worrying about tomorrow.
  • Commit to taking one small step.
  • Tell yourself that when you gain momentum, the task will become easier.
Mindful Communication

Bringing awareness, or mindfulness, to the way we communicate with others has both practical and profound applications.

We can train ourselves to:

  • recognize when the channel...
Label How You Feel

Each of us already has this natural communication system that feeds us information all the time. So when we close down and become defensive—for a few minutes, a few days, months or even a lifetime—we’re cutting ourselves off not only from others, but also from our natural ability to communicate. 

Mindful communication trains us to become aware of when we’ve stopped using our innate communication wisdom.

Defensive Reactions Zone

When we react to fear by shutting down the channel of communication, we’ve put up a defensive barrier that divides us from the world.

Signs you’re in the red light zone:

  • Our values shift to me-first.  We tell ourselves that relationships are not that important. 
  • Closed communication patterns are controlling and mistrustful. We see others as frozen objects that have importance only if they meet our needs.
  • We feel alone and emotionally hungry. Then we look to other people to rescue us from our aloneness. 
  • The sense of isolation that our defensive barrier triggers is subconsciously terrifying. If we are indeed isolated individuals, how do we get our supplies? How do we ward off enemies?
  • Suppressing these inner fears makes us even more rigid and out of touch. We tighten our muscles and thoughts; we harden our hearts.