#3 Practice the “100% Swap” Thought Experiment - Deepstash
#3 Practice the “100% Swap” Thought Experiment

#3 Practice the “100% Swap” Thought Experiment

Ask yourself:

“If I could swap my life completely for his/hers, including not just the good stuff, but all the bad things — would I?”

You don’t want someone else’s life. You just like fantasizing about it.

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MORE IDEAS FROM How to Overcome Jealousy in Life | mr-stingy

#4 Count Your Blessings

Jealousy comes from feelings of inadequacy. Remember, if we feel like we’re not enough — that’s when we start looking outside at other people.

Gratitude is such a powerful tool that lots of researchers have studied it and proven one thing: it just makes people happier.

So here’s a powerful exercise to do: every time you feel jealous, take out your phone and quickly note down three things you’re thankful for. Shift your focus away from the external, but look at what’s already good in your life.

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#2 Talk to Yourself

Whenever you feel like punching someone, it’s useful to take a deep breath, pause, and ask yourself the following questions:

  • What emotions am I feeling now? Is it anger? Is it hurt? Is it jealousy?
  • What were the triggers that caused this emotion?
  • What’s the real reason I feel so bad?

Detach yourself from the situation, and imagine you’re a neutral third party observing from the outside. Like an invisible angel, watching yourself and taking notes — trying to figure out why you do certain things

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James Altucher

“When you envy someone, you put a wall up between yourself and the things about that person you envy.

If they have a good job, there’s now a new wall between you and getting a good job. Why? Because you are programming yourself to dislike people who have good jobs.”.”

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Socrates

“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.”

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#6 Talk It out — Get Support

We’re looking for here is someone who will listen and empathize with you. And then lend you some non-judgmental emotional support (plus a hug maybe?).

He/she doesn’t even need to give you advice on how to solve your problems. If it’s jealousy — technically, there’s no external problem to solve anyway.

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#1 Acknowledge Jealousy

“It is not greed that drives the world, but envy.

The first step to deal with an uncomfortable feeling is acceptance.

  • If you ever catch yourself feeling those burning envious feelings, say “I’m <your name here>, and I get jealous.”
  • But more crucially, also say: “But it’s okay to feel jealous. It’s only human. And here’s what I’m going to do about it.”

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#5 Reach out to the Object of Your Jealousy

Reach out to him/her and humbly ask to learn from them. And then, maybe we become friends. And eventually, the jealousy falls away to become something better — like respect.

In this world of mistrust, it’s not isolation that will save us — it’s dialogue and empathy.

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#7 Overcome Insecurity — Build Your Self-Esteem
  1. Surround yourself with positive people, who will help build you up. 
  2. Become good at things that are important to you.
  3. Decide on your core values. And then make progress in that.

Loving yourself is the ultimate antidote for jealousy. Because then you realize that everything external you were looking for can actually be found within you.

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RELATED IDEA

Being Grateful For Your Job
  • In the 2020 debacle in terms of job and income loss, people who are employed feel a certain pressure to be grateful for it, and even have a measure of real gratitude. Many are thankful that they are still hired, still getting paid every month.
  • Jobs provided post-pandemic seem prized, with candidates in awe of the fact that they are being considered, shortlisted and interviewed, when jobs are so scarce.
  • While being grateful for what we have is a positive emotion with real benefits, there is a downside to this gratefulness, as it makes a person willing to endure unwelcome situations at work.

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A lot of people are experiencing unnecessary guilt right now, so you’re not alone if you can relate. Talking to friends and family members who understand can help.

If, despite your efforts, you’re still experiencing a lot of guilt or it’s interfering with your ability to function, consider seeking professional help. Guilt can be a symptom of depression, PTSD, or other mental health issues.

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Fear of abandonment

Some people will pursue multiple relationships simultaneously because of a fear of abandonment.

They want to have a backup relationship in case something goes wrong, but in doing so, they are putting their relationship at risk, living a lie, and not dealing with their fear of abandonment in a healthy way.

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