"It's either my marriage works fine or I don't get married at all". That was a promise I made to myself from the first time I saw partners of a marriage relationship that didn't work fine. They were ready to break up the marriage. And they were expressing their regret for getting married. I looked at them and said to myself "I don't ever want to experience this" To keep the promise I started looking out for advice on how to make a marriage work fine. I was 16 then. I didn't seek advice from anyone because I didn't want them to tell me I was too young to be thinking about marriage.

Tips To Make Your Marriage Work Fine And Last Forever

And at 16, I didn't have access to the internet. I would have sought advice from the internet. So I gave up. But I hoped that when I get older and have access to the internet, I'll get what I was looking for.When I got older and had access to the internet, I started looking out for advice on the internet. I read articles online, I read blog posts, and I followed Twitter trends that were related to what I was looking for. With these, I got lots of advice from the internet, but I wasn't satisfied. Because;

1. Most of the advice online was only best for the relationship of boyfriend and girlfriend(dating). They won't do so much in achieving the goal of marriage like building a peaceful home, keeping the family together, understanding and taking up the roles and responsibilities of husband and wife, and so on. 2. Most of the advice was biased. People online mostly advise to push an agenda. They don't care if their advice will help people or not, as long as it propagates what they want.

For example, a feminist would give marriage advice that pushes the feminist idea than give advice on how to make the marriage work fine for the couples. Hey, I don't have anything against feminists. I just... Okay never mind.So when I wasn't satisfied with the advice I got online I decided to help myself. Look out for a marriage that's working fine and learn from it. It took me a while to realize what I was looking for was right under my nose.

My family has never come close to being broken. And In 23yrs of my life, I've never heard or seen my parents argue or fight. So far, their relationship has been an amazing joy ride. Not that they didn't have some marriage issues in the past, they did. But they stuck together, fight it, and overcame it. Since then, they've been enjoying every bit of their marriage.So all I needed to do was to study my parent's marriage relationship, see why it's working fine for them, and learn from it.And from what I've learned so far, I'll give you three tips to make your marriage work fine.

1. Know the kind of person your partner is.Knowing your partner is necessary, especially before marriage. Because it shows you a clear picture of what the marriage will be like. It answers questions like;Am I safe with this person? Will this person give me peace? Is this person worthy of my life commitment? Does this person even love and respect me? Can I achieve my goal of marriage with this person? Will getting married to this person help me achieve my life dreams? Am I okay with living the rest of my life with this kind of person? Will the marriage be fun-filled?

Can I and this person coexist peacefully? And so onThe answers to these questions will give you a clear picture of what the marriage will be like. And then you can choose if that's the kind of marriage you want or not.However, some people get it wrong. When you ask them if they know their partner, they say yes. Then they start talking about their partner's best colors, favorite place to go, shoe size, dream job, what they like to have for dinner, where they'd like to travel to, etc.

Knowing all these about them doesn't mean you know the kind of person they are, it only means that you have information about them.Knowing someone you want to marry should go beyond having information about them. You should be able to define the kind of person they are. You should know their character, their emotional and mental state, their life goals, their view of life, their background, their values, etc.

And sometimes you think you know your partner well enough to get married to them. But soon after marriage, they become an entirely different person to you. And you'd be like "This is not the person I married". Yea that's exactly the person you married. What happened was that you relied on what they show you as who they are. You didn't take your time to study them and figure out who they are on your own. Don't accept what people present to you as who they are, see them from your perspective, and don't doubt what you see.

2. Your home's(family) well-being should always be your first priority.Your home's well-being has to do with the happiness, health, safety, prosperity, and financial provisions of your family. This strengthens the love, peace, happiness, and togetherness among the members of the family, which puts the family in positive social, mental, and emotional condition. And This is what a marriage needs to be beautiful and last forever.

The primary goal of a marriage is to start a loving family and build a peaceful and happy home with the person you love, and be happy, peaceful, respected, loved, and feel safe in that home. But this can't be achieved if the family's well-being is not in place. And if it's not achieved then the marriage isn't working fine. Most times, that's even the reason for divorce. If someone can't find happiness, peace and doesn't feel safe in a marriage, they leave that marriage.Why should your family's well-being always be your first priority?

Because if it's not you might fail in your duty to take care of the family's wellbeing.How do you take care of your family's well-being?By nurturing the family and providing for the needs of the family. It should be shared as a responsibility between you and your partner.In my family and in most of Africa where I'm from, the wife/mother nurtures the family. She cooks the family's meals, makes sure the house is in order, gets the children ready for school, etc. While the husband/father provides for the family's needs and wants. He's responsible to pay all the family's bills.

Although, I feel the father and mother can take up any of the responsibilities. But if we are defining it as roles, the mother should ensure the home is well nurtured and the father should work his butt off to make sure the family doesn't lack their needs and wants.Women are making it clear that they can't perform their roles as mothers and wives because of their careers. There's absolutely nothing wrong with loving your career and taking it seriously.

But if your career won't allow you to carry out your role as a mother and a wife, it will negatively affect your family's well-being. So my advice is, don't get married or start a family if your career will not allow you to be there for your family.3. Keep building your home till your last breath.When you finally have the happy and peaceful home you've always wanted. Don't ever stop investing in your home. The moment you stop building your home, it's likely to fall apart.

So don't ever stop trying to know your partner more and don't ever stop putting your family's well-being ahead of every other thing. This way, your marriage will work fine.This is how it is in my family. My parents took their time to know each other before their marriage and they won't put anything above their family's well-being. And this is what makes their marriage beautiful and what makes their family happy and peaceful as it is.I wish everyone a happy married life...

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

Marraige relationship

Why does sex sell so much? Why is social media filled with sexual content? Why is the porn industry booming globally? Why are many girls/women showing their buttholes on onlyfans? Why are we having more young girls becoming sex workers? Why do most music videos objectify women? Why is TikTok full of young women being sexual entertainers?... Whyyyyyyy?

How We Can End Sex Crimes (And Sexual Violence)

Isn't it obvious? The world is sexualized, that's why. We live in a world where almost everything in our society is fundamentally sexualized. And the consequence of a sexualized environment is that it creates an atmosphere conducive to all kinds of sexual abuse and sexual crimes to take place. This means the more sexualized the world is, the more it records cases of sexual crimes like rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse, pedophilia, and sex trafficking.But how do we end all these sex crimes?

The huge legal penalties for sex offenders don't seem to be enough to curb sex crimes. Every day, every week, every month, every year, every decade, and every century, the rate of sex crimes continues to increase massively. This shows that only punishing sex offenders can't reduce the rate at which people are committing sex crimes. The most effective way sex crimes can be reduced effectively is by creating an unsexualized world. Yes, you read that right. Let's unsexualized the world. Because an unsexualized world will make an environment that is not conducive to committing sexual atrocities.

How then do we unsexualize the world?There are 6 ways we can do that.1. Let's fight against all forms of women's sexualization/ objectification; Women are primarily the victims of sexualization and objectification. Which makes them the main victims of sex crimes like rape, sexual assault, pedophilia, etc. Think about it... What else could make someone rape a person or sexually assault them if they don't see that person as a sexual object?... So the first thing we should do is to protect women against all forms of sexualization.

And to be honest, feminists and Women activists all over the world are trying their best in fighting to protect women from sexualization. But they are not doing it properly. They are only fighting men for it. But when you look at it closely, men are not the only ones to be fought here. Yes, men sexualize women. No doubt. But you know what else we shouldn't doubt?... That women sexualize women too, women sexualize themselves, and women make it easy for men to sexualize them. And until we fight women for it the way we fight men, we can't be successful in our fight against women's sexualization.

2. Let's fight against sex work; I know a lot of women are making their livelihood from sex work like prostitution, only fans, etc. But the prevalence of sex work is the reason why sex trafficking will continue to exist. Let me tell you this; As of the start of 2022, 35 million is the number of victims of sex trafficking every single day. Wow! If sex work doesn't exist, why would there be a need for transporting sex workers? Soliciting for sex work is like soliciting for sex trafficking.

3. Let's fight against porn; Porn encourages sex crimes by teaching people how to properly commit them. Their content promotes rape, sexual assault, pedophilia, incest, sexual exploitation, and child sex trafficking. Also, Porn affects your Psychology and makes you perceive everything around you in a sexual manner. The development of the porn industry is the development of sex crimes.

4. Sex education should be taught extensively in schools, and at home; Parents and schools should feed their children with the right knowledge about sex and sexuality. This will help children to protect themselves against sex crimes and prevent them from committing sex crimes.

5. Children should not have access to social media; I don't know how the government or whoever is in charge of the system would do it but social media should ONLY be accessible to adults. The media is full of sexual content which makes it unsafe for children. They are young and naive, they don't know what's what, and they have no idea what video or image they can see and not see. So they consume every social media content they come across including sexual content. And with this, the media is grooming future pornstars, nudists, sexual entertainers, perverts, and so on.

6. Let's uphold good moral values; This will cleanse society from all forms of sexualization. So if we build a morally upright society, we will have fewer rapists and perverts in society.If you believe no one deserves to be raped, no one deserves to be trafficked for sexual purposes or any purpose, And no one deserves to be sexually abused, then let's join hands to unsexualize the world and end sex crimes. The statistic on sex trafficking was produced by BedBible.com. In their Reports on 2022 Worldwide Sex Trafficking Statistics.

I want us to join hands and fight against sexual violence

Fight against Sexual violence

Dear women, here are 6 ways to protect yourself against Domestic violence.1. Understand that a man that's violent to you doesn't love you. Some women say stuff like "he loves me, I made him mad that's why he hit me". Bullshit! He loves himself, doesn't he? Do you see him hitting his head on the wall when he's angry at himself?... So why fool yourself. A man that truly loves you wouldn't have the guts to beat you up. ﻿ ﻿

Ways To Protect yourself against Domestic Violence.

2. If he hit you once, don't let it happen again. I mean if he's violent against you for the first time don't accept the "I'm sorry, it won't happen again"...Okay maybe you can accept the apology. But don't dare continue the relationship. Cuz abuse men don't change, they never really learn their lessons and most of them don't regret thier actions. So continuing the relationship is like giving him a chance to do it again...and again... and again...till violence against you becomes the most consistent aspect of your relationship.

3. If you don't want violence, don't be violent. Don't hit a guy if you don't want him to hit you. Don't slap your man thinking he shouldn't slap you back cuz he's supposed to be "a gentleman". That's not a way to treat a gentleman.﻿4. If he's naturally vicious, don't even date him. Vicious people are naturally aggressive and mean and callous and merciless and brutal in the way they treat people and handle things. A vicious person doesn't feel pity or show remorse. There's a high chance somebody like this will beat you up and still feel good about it.﻿

5. If he drinks or takes drugs, don't have any love relationship with him. Because there's a high probability he'll be violent. And if he's high or drunk one day and y'all get into an argument, he might become violent and hit you without realizing it. 6. Work hard and make your own money. A lot of girls/women are stuck in abusive relationships cuz of money. They know if they leave or talk, they'll lose the financial support that comes from the guy/man. So if you don't want to be in this situation, work hard and be financially independent.﻿

I want to see a world where everyone is free from all sorts of domestic violence.

Domestic violence

Emotional abuse doesn't get the attention that domestic violence gets. When we talk about domestic abuse, we only focus on physical abuse and forget that emotional abuse in relationships is also domestic abuse. And because we don't focus on emotional abuse, most people in relationships don't recognize it as abuse even when they are emotionally abused.This post talks about the different types of emotional abuse in relationships. So when you are abused emotionally in your relationship, you'll be able to spot it and kick against it immediately.

Types Of Emotional Abuse

1. Lying; You know the meaning of lying right? Lying is a false statement made with the deliberate intention to deceive. If you are in a relationship where your partner lies to you a lot, your emotions become damaged. Because the more you find out the truth, the more you struggle with yourself to trust your partner, and the more you break down for having a partner who keeps the truth away from you to deceive you. For me, there's no worse emotional abuse than lying.

2. Gaslighting; gaslighting is a form of manipulation where the victim is made to doubt his/her sanity and reality. There are different types of gaslighting. But the most common one that occurs in a relationship is when your partner tries to make you unsee something you see or perceive about them. For example, you notice your partner flirting with another person. And when you confront them, they call you 'crazy' or 'toxic' or 'jealous' or 'too sensitive' or 'insecure'. Nothing frustrates the emotion like Gaslighting.

3. Guilt-tripping; Guilt-tripping is making someone feel guilty when they are not at fault. When someone wants you to take the blame for their own mistake, they guilt trip you. It is also a great weapon to get you to do something you don't want to do.I heard about a relationship issue some time ago. The boyfriend wants his girlfriend to learn some sex styles he sees in porn. She doesn't want to. So the guy cheats on her a lot and blames her for it. He said he's only doing it because she has not learned the sex styles. Guys! This is a top-tier emotional abuse.

4. Betraying; This is when someone does something that leads to your downfall or exposes you to danger. In a relationship It means, doing anything that goes against the morals and ethics of your relationship. For example, if your relationship ethics don't allow external romantic affairs. If your partner has a romantic affair outside your relationship, they have betrayed you. Betrayal is so crazy it can trigger a traumatic reaction.

5. Domestic violence; Domestic violence is violent or aggressive behavior that occurs mostly in marriage relationships and dating relationships. Your partner physically attacking you will have a more damaging effect on your emotions than your body. And while bruises can heal easily, emotions can't. The pain domestic violence could cause the body is not anywhere close to the pain it will cause the heart.

6. The silent treatment; The silent treatment is the intentional decision not to talk to someone after an argument or disagreement. Most times in a relationship, there isn't even an argument, your partner just starts ignoring you for no reason known to you. You ask them what's going on and they won't even say anything. This gets your mind curious and unrest. The silent treatment is an effective way to torture someone's emotion

7. Emotional blackmail; Emotional blackmail is a form of manipulation, where people use your emotions to control you. When your partner knows how much you love them and how much they mean to you, they can use it to control you - to get you to do anything they want. For example, they can say if you want to show you care about them, you'll steal for them. I promise you, Emotional blackmail is a powerful tool to control someone easily.

There are more types of emotional abuse but these are the most common ones in relationships.In any relationship you find yourself, be it a love relationship or any other one. Don't allow yourself to be abused emotionally. Understand that anything your partner does to you that makes you break down emotionally is abuse. And it's not okay.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

books

Books

Emotional Abuse

Conditioning: We are groomed at a very early age on what to think, say, behave and how to live our life with little thought of what we want.Bad times: At your lowest point in your life you will find out who truly cares about you.Approval: The majority of your life is spent seeking approval from others. In reality, all you have to do, is seek approval of yourself.Chances: You will spend a good portion of your life giving 2,3,4,5 chances to someone that doesn’t deserve an ounce of your energy.

You Will Find This Helpful👇💯

Childhood Trauma: We go through life, attracting the very people that will subconsciously teach us the most of painful life lessons. Lack of self love.Acceptance: Most will stay in shitty jobs, shitty relationships, while posting the American Dream on social media.Social media: It is a world of delusion and narcissism. Who can make their way life/relationship appear better than the next.Fear: We all live in fear. Fear of being alone, fear of what others think, fear of not living up to societal norm. But In reality, what we really fear is being authentic.

No one gives a shit: No one truly cares about you. They care about the status symbols, but no one really cares if you’re happy.Toxic person: You will love the most toxic person in your life the most. While telling others, they don’t understand.True love: It does exist. I know it does. You will find it when you aren't desperately searching for it.True Colors: When someone shows who they are with actions and not words. Please believe them. They aren’t lying.Life: It’s a game of trial and errors. Some learn quicker than others, while others repeat the same painful lessons.

They help give interpretation to certain aspects of life

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

Just something I read on Quora

Getting nude and posting it online isn't the best way to show you are proud of your body. Because nudity is mostly used for sexual appeal. Like prostitution, porn, onlyfans. etc. what I'm saying is nudity and sex are closely related, so when you post your nude, people will see you as a person trying to be sexually attractive than a person showing the pride she has in her body. and it's not their fault. It's yours.

Nudity Is Not Body Podiy

I want you to understand nudity doesn't portray the pride you have in your body.

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

Body positivity

I saw these precautions on Quora so I thought I should share them with you.- Removing objects from stab wounds will increase the blood loss and thus it will increase the chance of that person dying. Leave that object be. Don’t try to remove it.- CO poisoning: Never sleep in a confined place (place without ventilation) with the heating systems, stove, or anything that uses combustion fumes emits Carbon Monoxide which is poisonous and can kill you.- If you have no option,but to fight with a dagger or knife then remember that slashing causes more damage than stabbing.

Safety Precautions. Please Share

- Never walk on the stairs with your hands in pockets.- While driving on the road or crossing the street, focus. Don’t try to multitask. Using phones during those times can be fatal.- Trust your guts. It’s the body’s 1st line defense. Period.If you are being tied, clench your muscles in arms and abdomen …inhaling all the air so that later when you are normal, you can wiggle out easily.-If you think you’re being followed, turn right four times. Since you’ll get to the same place, they shouldn’t be following you anymore.

- While giving CPR, it’s not just breathing in and out of the victim’s mouth. You have to perform 30 chest beats and then 2 rescue breaths and then repeat.- Despite what we have seen on TV, sucking out venom from a bite might be a bad idea. It can be dangerous as it can help the venom to spread and damage the skin around the bite.Be safe hun.Pls share an save lives

Just randomly scrolling Quora 

if i bring a book someplace it doesn't necessarily mean i want to read it mayb i just want to take her own a walk. Get her some fresh air and a change of scenery

Love For Books

bi-wife: “if i bring a book someplace it doesn’t necessarily mean i want to read it mayb i just want to take her own a walk. Get her some fresh air and a change of scenery ”

communication

Communication

entertainment

Entertainment

It's the Sunglasses — if i bring a book someplace it doesn't necessarily...

“Being a successful fashion designer is about more than just making great clothes. It’s about running a business, and that means having a combination of diverse skills—you need creativity, business acumen, social skills, management skills, and most importantly, you need dedication. I started out in this business with $150 and a dream. there were many years, challenges,and lessons learned before getting to where I am today. The best piece of advice I’d give to a young designer is to first dream big and believe in yourself, and then approach fashion from a holistic point of view.

Advice To Young Fashion Designers.

You have to start with a great product, but you also need the right vehicle to get that great product into your customer’s hands. Th at means planning, researching, merchandising, building great relationships, having a great marketing plan, and being able to execute all of those things in a carefully thought out way.”- Tommy Hilfiger. American fashion designer and the founder of Tommy Hilfiger Corporation.

“Mary Gehlhar’s third edition of her seminal Fashion Designer Survival Guide is the definitive how-to for navigating the fashion industry, post-pandemic. Mary’s trailblazing book illuminates and inspires. She is a fashion treasure and this new edition is a rare gem.” Tim Gunn “The Fashion Designer Survival Guide is packed with essential knowledge and advice from industry experts and experienced designers to set you on the right path. These insights will give you the solid foundation to create a plan and make smart decisions…” Christian Siriano In this updated and expanded edition of The Fashion Designer Survival Guide, Mary Gehlhar, industry authority and consultant to hundreds of fashion design entrepreneurs, offers behind-the-scenes insight and essential information to launch and grow your own fashion label. You’ll hear from experts in social media, financing, and sales, along with advice from dozens of designers on solutions to their biggest challenges and their keys to success. A new section of full color photos from 25 independent designers bring the concepts to life. In this must-have guide, Gehlhar reveals essential information on: Creating a viable business plan Social media strategies to grow your customer base Maximizing online sales to get your designs directly into customers’ closets Integrating sustainability in your sourcing and manufacturing Collaborating with influencers, stylists and brands to expand your audience Landing the right financing for your type of business Establishing wholesale partnerships with the best retail stores Navigating the pitfalls of production both at home and abroad

The Fashion Designer Survival Guide

Whenever you are low in cash, the last thing you'll resort to should be getting into debt.

Marraige relationship

Fight against Sexual violence

Domestic violence

Emotional Abuse

Just something I read on Quora

Ahmad Muhammad Ameen