Borderline Personality Disorder affects our relationships, either serious or casual.We are usually very intense, not everyone's cup of tea but some people truly love us and we are able to show true and devoted love.

BPD, Love And Relationships

When we are single, we will possibly have casual encounters or friends with benefits. I don't recommend any of this, though it may happen. We get attached easily, we are attracted to and attract men with low-empatjy and narcissistic traits. We might be signing up for a world of heartbreak. We feel things too deeply and get attached too quickly. However, maybe you can or maybe you can only learn by experience. In my case, it didn't work in my favor at all.

Casual Relationships And BP

I can, once again, only speak from experience, but really build a friendship with someone before you date them, look for someone empathetic, who really shows that they care about you. Communicate how you feel, don't keep things to yourself. Don't invade each other's time and sometimes space. You have to learn to not send premature texts, jumping into conclusions, etc. When something benign might've happened. If you're not in therapy, now is the time, if you have the resources. Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) is the best evidence based approach you can take to manage your triggers.

BPD And Relationships

A few thoughts on love, relationships (serious and casual) when you have Borderline Personality Disorder.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

mentalhealth

Mental Health

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

BPD, Love and Relationships

Daily life with Borderline Personality Disrorder is really an act of resisting and letting go. Many of us struggle alone or with few friends. We may tend to withdraw and feel safer alone or with someone close because we are hypersensitive.It's a struggle that is very overwhelming all too often because the urges to act out, etc are very strong. However, understanding that we can fight back and slowly regain control can be empowering and bring much needed hope.

Living With BPD 

Every day, we have to resist <ul><li>engaging in self-destructive behavior </li><li>not contacting people that negatively impact our mental health</li><li>resisting the urge to not obsess over someone</li><li>resisting urges to make bad decisions in general</li></ul>

What We Resist

In order to resist, we also need to learn to let go.<ul><li>let go of thoughts that are not beneficial to us and that may lead to bad decisions</li><li>let go of limiting beliefs</li><li>let go of painful things through therapy, by reading about it and through auto-analysis</li><li>trying to let go of self-soothing in unhealthy ways</li></ul>

What We Let Go

<ul><li>DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) is the best approach to our struggle.</li><li>Slowly reinforcing and not reinforcing habits, negative thoughts, obsessive thoughts.</li><li>Learning to redirect our attention to our breath when our thoughts do not serve us (addiction triggers that may lead to relapse, obsessive thoughts, etc). Redirect our attention to something else, more productive or pleasurable.</li><li>Taking your time to cool down to reply to people in order to no act out</li><li>Understanding that you should just turn your back and leave in many situations</li><li>Learning to pick your battles and preserve your energy</li></ul>

What We Can Do

Your thoughts are not you. They lie to us often. We must learn to let go of thoughts that are detrimental to us.Trauma left deep and open wounds that manifest in our thoughts and in other ways. But we are, above all, conscience and we can cultivate healthier thoughts, including negative self-talk. Don't be harsh to yourself. Treat yourself as a friend would.

Our Thoughts

How Borderline Personality Disorder is an act of resisting and letting go and a few ways to cope.

So much of my daily life, as someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), is resisting and letting go. RESISTING Resisting the urge to message someone that wasn't good for me, resisting the urge to overreact, resisting the urge to engage in self-destructive behavior (even if it's cigarette smoking, chainsmoking is awful), resisting the urge to…

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

mindfulness

Mindfulness

Living With BPD As An Act Of Resisting And Letting Go

BPD is a personality disorder characterized by symptoms like impulsivity, substance abuse, self-harm, suicidal ideation, unstable sense of self, etc.As most mental conditions, it manifests itself in early adulthood and it can negatively impact your life in varying degrees. BPD is more treatable that it was previously thought, with DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy). It is understood that it can be in a state of remission, when you can manage it better and eventually master it.

What Is BPD?

They were chaotic, absolutely terrible. Like riding in a car that no one was driving and that I was barely driving myself. I had terrible mood swings, a huge difficulty managing my emotions. Anger issues were awful. Resentment and so many negative emotions flooded me all the time, it was hard to be alone. A lot of black and white thinking, splitting (changing your mind about people for sometimes seemingly small things) and I was so sensitive to rejection. Obsession was also a pattern that I had.

My First Years Having BPD

As I got older, medication and therapy helped me manage my emotions. My mood is stable and I'm less impulsive. Anger issues no longer plague me. I don't get flooded with very negative emotions often, also due to meditation and gratitude. It's not hard to be alone anymore. My mind is not a warzone any more.Black and white thinking is something that I was able to overcome with therapy and lived experience. Splitting happens occasionally but you are more tolerant and patient. Regarding rejection, I ended up learning to put it in perspective and rationalizing it.

Growing Older With BPD

My thoughts on the evolution of my case of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

BPD and Getting Older

For people with borderline personality disorder socializing can be hard. People can say hurtful things so we can feel safer alone.

BPD And Solitude

When you feel safe consistently, you are able to focus on yourself. You can read about your issues, meditate, learn about all sorts of things. You can work on yourself, do DBT ( Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, the most evidence based therapy for personality disorders) and get to a point where you are more open to socializeagain.

Solitude Can Be Healing

When you are alone, you can be yourself. Do whatever you want, watch whatever you want. Embrace this freedom.

There Is Freedom In Solitude

Just because you are lonely today, it doesn't mean that you will feel this way forever. As you connect with yourself, loneliness can turn into content solitude. I lost myself in loneliness and found myself in solitude. Maybe it can happen to you too.

Loneliness Today Can Mean Solitude Tomorrow

As someone with BPD, solitude has been a big part of my healing. I went from being lonely to feeling content in my solitude.

Solitude and BPD go hand in hand, many times. It feels safer. No one can see me cry or be upset. No one can say hurtful things. Our house or our room is our cocoon where hopefully we can heal. It's hard to understand how sensitive we are. It can be hard to understand us.…

BPD, Love and Relationships

Living With BPD As An Act Of Resisting And Letting Go

BPD and Getting Older

BPD And Solitude

Carolina M