BPD and Getting Older - Deepstash

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What Is BPD?

BPD is a personality disorder characterized by symptoms like impulsivity, substance abuse, self-harm, suicidal ideation, unstable sense of self, etc.

As most mental conditions, it manifests itself in early adulthood and it can negatively impact your life in varying degrees.

BPD is more treatable that it was previously thought, with DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy). It is understood that it can be in a state of remission, when you can manage it better and eventually master it.

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My First Years Having BPD

They were chaotic, absolutely terrible. Like riding in a car that no one was driving and that I was barely driving myself.

I had terrible mood swings, a huge difficulty managing my emotions. Anger issues were awful. Resentment and so many negative emotions flooded me all the time, it was hard to be alone.

A lot of black and white thinking, splitting (changing your mind about people for sometimes seemingly small things) and I was so sensitive to rejection. Obsession was also a pattern that I had.

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Growing Older With BPD

As I got older, medication and therapy helped me manage my emotions. My mood is stable and I'm less impulsive. Anger issues no longer plague me. I don't get flooded with very negative emotions often, also due to meditation and gratitude. It's not hard to be alone anymore. My mind is not a warzone any more.

Black and white thinking is something that I was able to overcome with therapy and lived experience. Splitting happens occasionally but you are more tolerant and patient.

Regarding rejection, I ended up learning to put it in perspective and rationalizing it.

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CURATED BY

CURATOR'S NOTE

My thoughts on the evolution of my case of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

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