Limerence is a state of infatuation or obsession with another person that involves an all-consuming passion and intrusive thoughts.It is often a result of not being present either through trauma or certain childhood development issues. Alternatively, you may experience it when you are run down, if you haven’t had enough sleep for example, and are lacking serotonin. So, you fantasize that someone else could save you and crystallize those thoughts into a golden image of 'the one.'

Limerence Involves Intrusive Thoughts

Here are a couple of ways that the two are frustratingly similar. <ul><li>You are drawn to a certain person. Confusing hardly does it justice. When you’re in limerence with someone, it’s similar to falling in love. The attraction is real. It is a form of infatuation which can mirror the early stages of falling in love where you obsessively think about the other person.</li><li>It can happen with anyone, anytime. You never know when you’re about to fall in love and it can happen with the most implausible people. As it turns out, limerence is the same. </li></ul>

Limerence vs. Love: Similarities

The main difference here is that love requires a real, meaningful connection with another person, while limerence is all about the chase and lusting after someone.<ul><li>Limerence is the feeling that the object of their desire will complete them. This can be a form of trauma bonding where one person is seeking to be 'saved' by another.</li><li>The limerent person is desperate to have the object no matter whether it is good for either of them and they may idealize them</li><li>Seeing a bunch of red flags and ignoring them? You might be in limerence. </li><li>You neglect your own needs for them. </li><li>There could be an underlying reas<warningtag>on that your default is limerence. Deep down the limerent person may be afraid of genuine connection and may be more comfortable with the distance. There may be psychological reasons and fear why they prefer obsessing over connecting.</warningtag></li></ul>

Limerence vs. Love: Differences

A collection of ideas for changing your attitude and overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts

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Problem Solving

health

Health

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Mental Health

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

How to Cope With Intrusive Thoughts

Limerence: the state of infatuation or obsession with another person that involves an all-consuming passion and intrusive thoughts.

What is limerence? A therapist defines limerence, explains how it compare to love, and what to do if you are falling in limerence.

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

Limerence vs. Love: What's the Difference?

Limerence and Intrusive Thoughts

You work and work for years and years, you're always on the goYou never take a minute off, too busy makin' doughSomeday you say, you'll have your fun, when you're a millionaireImagine all the fun you'll have in your old rockin' chairEnjoy yourself, it's later than you thinkEnjoy yourself, while you're still in the pinkThe years go by, as quickly as a winkEnjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it's later than you think

Our time together is finite, but we fail to recognize it until it's too late.Time is cruel. You’ll love it with all of your being, you may even pray for more of it, but the reality is that time doesn’t care about you.Your relationship with time is the ultimate unrequited love.

Tick Tock

<ul><li>You don't have enough time to do what you think you will do before you die.</li><li>Identify the people and activities you care most deeply about. Prioritize them ruthlessly.</li><li>It may be difficult, even painful, but it’s a decision you’ll never regret.</li><li> </li></ul>

Start Doing What You Love, Now

We spend most of our lives playing a game.Everything we do is in anticipation of the future. When that future comes, we simply reset to think about the next future.“I can’t wait until I’m 16 so I can drive.”“I can’t wait until I’m 18 so I can leave home and go to college.”“I can’t wait until I’m 25 so I can have my own place.”“I can’t wait until I’m 35 so I can coach my kid’s team.” Time is our most precious asset and the present is all that’s guaranteed. Spend it wisely, with those you love, in ways you’ll never regret.

We Keep Waiting For The Future All Our Lives

Your loved ones and your dream pursuits are the most important things in your life.

The harsh truth that changed my life (and may change yours)

It's Later Than You Think

Drifting can happen to anyone. It’s not just a problem for young people; it happens to people of all ages and career levels. Drifting happens for many reasons. Some people are unaware of what’s going on in their life or what is at stake, they’re distracted by a hobby or career, overwhelmed with responsibilities and commitments, or deceived by their own minds. Regardless of the reason for drifting, it can lead to 5 consequences: confusion about life’s meaning and direction; wasted time and money; lost opportunities; physical pain from poor health; emotional pain due to lack of fulfillment.

The Drift

A Life Plan is a document that helps people answer questions about their life and goals. It outlines steps to achieve those goals, as well as answers some specific questions they may have regarding their lives.The first step is for people to think about the end of life and legacy that they leave behind; then they should write down their plans by prioritizing each goal with importance and urgency.When formulating your Life Plan ask three important questions:<ul><li>How Do I want to be remembered?</li><li>What matters the most?</li><li>How can I get from here to where I want to be?</li></ul>

Life Planning

<ul><li>The drift is about passivity. It is about blaming our circumstances or other people. The drift is about living without a plan.</li><li>Life Planning is about proactivity. It is about taking responsibility and about having a plan and working it.</li></ul>

Life Planning Is The Opposite of The Drift

<ul><li>It is created by you and for you. A Life Plan has to flow from your heart.</li><li>It describes how you want to be remembered. A life plan doesn’t leave anything to chance.</li><li>It articulates your personal priorities. A life plan gives you the chance to create a vision for yourself that is separate from what your family or others want from you</li><li>It provides specific actions necessary to take you from where you are to where you want to be in every major area of your life</li><li>It is a document that you can tweak and adjust when necessary. A Life Plan is flexible and it is a manifestation of an ongoing process.</li></ul>

Characteristics of a Life Plan

These compartments are called life accounts.<ul><li>The Circle of Being. These are things that emanate from you. They include the spiritual, physical, and intellectual accounts</li><li>The Circle of Relating. These are things that are centered on you in relation to others. They include your marital, parental, and social accounts</li><li>The Circle of Doing. These are activities that deal with you in relation to your output. They include what you do for work, what you do as a hobby, and your finances.</li></ul>

 Life Viewed In Terms of Compartments

“We tend to think effective people are busy. Not so, unless they’re busy with the right things—and many people aren’t. When things in our business or life get busy and hectic, we often lose sight of our priorities. But by keeping the truly important things front and center, we often get the perspective we need to make better decisions.”

“Here’s the reality: Your personal life is a myth. There is no such thing as a compartmentalized life. Every area, space, category, and set of relationships is interrelated. You are a seamless whole.”

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Motivation & Inspiration

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Books

Each of us has but one life to live on this earth. What we do with it is our choice. Are we drifting through it as spectators, reacting to our circumstances when necessary and wondering just how we got to this point anyway? Or are we directing it, maximizing the joy and potential of every day, living with a purpose or mission in mind? Too many of us are doing the former--and our lives are slipping away one day at a time. But what if we treated life like the gift that it is? What if we lived each day as though it were part of a bigger picture, a plan? That's what New York Times bestselling author Michael Hyatt and executive coach Daniel Harkavy show us how to do: to design a life with the end in mind, determining in advance the outcomes we desire and path to get there. In this step-by-step guide, they share proven principles that help readers create a simple but effective life plan so that they can get from where they are now to where they really want to be--in every area of life.

Michael Hyatt

Daniel Harkavy

Living Forward

Upward management, with all its varying degrees and permutations, is commonly seen in most organizations. While a certain amount of upward management is necessary - just good common sense for anyone in a managerial role - when taken to extremes it can be not too appealing a quality.

Managing Upwards

This workplace expression is defined as a situation where middle-level employees in an organization are polite and flattering to superiors but abusive to subordinates. Such managers are always ready to please whoever had authority over them while having very little regard for people working under them.

Kiss up and Kick Down

So what's really the problem with kissing up and kicking down? Besides the fact that it's just generally nasty unpleasant behaviour, from a management efficiency and productivity standpoint, the real problem is you're spending energy in the wrong place.You're not spending time on improving the performance of your team (which is beneficial to the broader organization) so much as you're focused on pleasing one person (which may benefit you but creates minimal value for the broader organization).

Misplaced Focus

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Career

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

The Trouble With Too Much Upward Management

The key to a scintillating and kinetic conversation on a date is one’s ability to ask really good questions. But before we talk about how to ask really good questions, it’s crucial to know what really bad questions look like.

The Secret To A Lush Date Conversation Has Nothing To Do With Words

A random question has no Explainable relevance to the moment. A question that elicits gross mental images, slanders people or embarrasses your date is a Chinese finger trap of conversational Homicide. A vanilla question can feel like a Cover-Up as if you can't think of anything good to talk about so you ask where she bought her shirt. If you ask a predictable, non-creative question about something you don't really care about, people make a mental note in their minds that you are a simple-minded person with little imagination.

Bad Questions: Random Ones

To ask a great question that makes your date feel cherished and respected, you must have genuine curiosity. Genuine curiosity means you put yourself in their shoes. You see in your mind’s eye what they see in real life and your imagination generates the thoughts and feelings they have. When something is interesting, we ask questions to learn more. But there are levels underneath genuine curiosity that require work.

The Secret to Asking Really Good Questions

Awkward silence is technically four seconds, according to science.

The Length Of Time Required for Awkward Silence

<ul><li>You care. If you don’t really care what their answer is, don’t ask the question in the first place.</li><li>You listen. Don’t pick up your phone. Don’t avoid eye contact.</li><li>You empathize. You feel how they feel.</li><li>You articulate.</li><li>You reflect.</li><li>You follow. You stick with their story, track the names and relationships, note the details and the conflicts.</li><li>You read. Before asking a question, it’s important to know if your date wants to be asked a question in the first place.</li></ul>

Seven Steps To Genuine Curiosity

The key to a scintillating and kinetic conversation on a date is one’s ability to ask really good questions. But before we talk about how to ask really good questions, it’s crucial to know what…

“The great storytellers have an unfair competitive advantage.”

Leadership is the art of inspiring others to make a story come true. Therefore, if you’re leading people, you’re telling them a story — by definition. Of course, your story might not be connecting as deeply as you’d like, and that’s why leaders benefit from becoming better storytellers.

Storytelling is a must-have leadership skill

The core leadership story is a pitch: Come with me to the Promised Land.

Leadership stories 

Very literally, leadership is storytelling and leaders are storytellers. A lot goes into building an effective strategic narrative and aligning everyone around it. Start by asking:<ul><li>Whose lives, primarily, are you out to change?</li><li>What’s at stake (for them) if you succeed or fail?</li><li>What does the Promised Land look like?</li><li>What are the obstacles to reaching the Promised Land, and how will you help overcome them?</li><li>What evidence can you offer that you can really make the story come true?</li></ul>

Integrating storytelling into one’s leadership style

A Q&A with Andy Raskin on why great leaders are great storytellers.

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Strategy

communication

Communication

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Startups

Why Leadership = Storytelling

What you’re choosing in a philosophy of life are the lenses through which you look at the world. Hence, once you adopt your new pair of glasses, this philosophy of life will translate into reality for you.

A philosophy of life

<h2>Choosing a philosophy of life is all about living a better life. </h2><h2>By “better life,” we don’t mean this feeling of elation of conquering a goal, but a better path towards the goal. </h2>

The goal of a philosophy of life

The three pillars of all philosophies of life:<ul><li>Ethics = What should I do? (right actions vs. wrong ones)</li><li>Esthetics = What is a beautiful life?</li><li>Metaphysics = What’s out there? (and how did we get here?)</li></ul>

A system of beliefs

In this article, we'll explore how to have a philosophy of life by examining different types of philosophy to help you on your journey.

Limerence vs. Love: What's the Difference?

It's Later Than You Think

Living Forward

The Trouble With Too Much Upward Management

The Secret To A Lush Date Conversation Has Nothing To Do With Words

Kimberly Chavez