The Secret To A Lush Date Conversation Has Nothing To Do With Words

To ask a great question that makes your date feel cherished and respected, you must have genuine curiosity. Genuine curiosity means you put yourself in their shoes. You see in your mind’s eye what they see in real life and your imagination generates the thoughts and feelings they have. When something is interesting, we ask questions to learn more. But there are levels underneath genuine curiosity that require work.

Awkward silence is technically four seconds, according to science.

• You care. If you don’t really care what their answer is, don’t ask the question in the first place.
• You listen. Don’t pick up your phone. Don’t avoid eye contact.
• You empathize. You feel how they feel.
• You articulate.
• You reflect.
• You follow. You stick with their story, track the names and relationships, note the details and the conflicts.
• You read. Before asking a question, it’s important to know if your date wants to be asked a question in the first place.