Limerence vs. Love: What's the Difference? - Deepstash
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Limerence Involves Intrusive Thoughts

Limerence Involves Intrusive Thoughts

Limerence is a state of infatuation or obsession with another person that involves an all-consuming passion and intrusive thoughts.

It is often a result of not being present either through trauma or certain childhood development issues. Alternatively, you may experience it when you are run down, if you haven’t had enough sleep for example, and are lacking serotonin. So, you fantasize that someone else could save you and crystallize those thoughts into a golden image of 'the one.'


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Limerence vs. Love: Similarities

Here are a couple of ways that the two are frustratingly similar. 

  • You are drawn to a certain person. Confusing hardly does it justice. When you’re in limerence with someone, it’s similar to falling in love. The attraction is real. It is a form of infatuation which can mirror the early stages of falling in love where you obsessively think about the other person.
  • It can happen with anyone, anytime. You never know when you’re about to fall in love and it can happen with the most implausible people. As it turns out, limerence is the same.


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Limerence vs. Love: Differences

The main difference here is that love requires a real, meaningful connection with another person, while limerence is all about the chase and lusting after someone.

  • Limerence is the feeling that the object of their desire will complete them. This can be a form of trauma bonding where one person is seeking to be 'saved' by another.
  • The limerent person is desperate to have the object no matter whether it is good for either of them and they may idealize them
  • Seeing a bunch of red flags and ignoring them? You might be in limerence.
  • You neglect your own needs for them.
  • There could be an underlying reason that your default is limerence. Deep down the limerent person may be afraid of genuine connection and may be more comfortable with the distance. There may be psychological reasons and fear why they prefer obsessing over connecting.


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Limerence: the state of infatuation or obsession with another person that involves an all-consuming passion and intrusive thoughts.


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