If you're often complaining about your workplace or romantic relationships, there's a high chance that you're not communicating what you want to happen differently. This leads to resentment and it damages your relationships.Instead, you should be honest about your desires and boundaries and ask for what you want. Even if you don't get what you want, you'll maintain your integrity and your relationships will improve over time.

Ask for what you want to avoid resentment

<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Articulate what you want → Get clear on what you want to happen and why you want it.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Ask for what you want → Don’t expect others to read your mind. Ask clearly and directly, while being open to their response.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Accept the response → Sometimes you won't get what you want. Treat it as an opportunity to get curious, iterate and try again.</li></ol>

How to ask for what you want

View it as a sign that you need to change your approach to get a Yes. Don't under-accept or over-accept it. This means neither treating it as invalid and refusing to learn from it, nor treating it as too valid, to the point where you assume you'll always hear No's in the future.

How to accept a refusal

Ask for what you want to avoid getting caught up in your partner's whims and wishes and ending up frustrated

Kenneth Berger coaches startup leaders on how to prevent burnout, advocate for their desired lifestyle, and make a meaningful impact on the world. He’s spent more than 20 years in the tech industry, is a former founder backed by top investors, and was the first product manager at Slack. Kenneth’s core mission is to help startup leaders change the world by learning to ask for what they want, living with integrity, and building genuine relationships even with the people they find most challenging. Currently he is writing a book, Ask for What You Want, in which he aims to share his actionable strategies for creating change in the world. In our conversation, we explore: • Why asking for what you want is so impactful • Three steps to effectively ask for what you want • Challenges that arise when people struggle to ask for what they want • Why hearing “no” is a normal part of the process • The “dream behind the complaint” technique for uncovering desires • Kenneth’s experience of being fired three times from Slack • How embracing fear and discomfort is key to getting what you want • Why discipline is overrated — Brought to you by: • ⁠Sidebar⁠—Accelerate your career by surrounding yourself with extraordinary peers • ⁠Webflow⁠—The web experience platform • ⁠Vanta⁠—Automate compliance. Simplify security — Find the transcript and references at: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/ask-for-what-you-want-kenneth-berger — Where to find Kenneth Berger: • X: https://twitter.com/kberger • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@kberger • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kberger/ • Website: https://kberger.com/ — Where to find Lenny: • Newsletter: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com • X: https://twitter.com/lennysan • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lennyrachitsky/ — In this episode, we cover: (00:00) Kenneth’s background (04:31) The importance of asking for what you want (06:36) Challenges that arise when people struggle to ask for what they want (08:09) A personal example of failing to ask for what you want (09:17) Signs this is a skill you need to work on (10:49) How to get better at knowing what you want (15:28) Why hearing “no” is a normal part of the process (17:29) Getting a “yes” vs. a “hell yes” (19:20) Step 1: Articulate what you want (24:07) Doing an integrity check (26:56) Step 2: Ask for what you want intentionally (30:45) Understanding your influence (34:48) Using complaints as inspiration (36:24) Internal family systems (38:00) Giving feedback (41:24) Step 3: Accept the response (45:22) Kenneth’s experience of being fired three times from Slack (57:30) Advice on being the first PM at a company or startup (01:04:58) Contrarian corner: anti-discipline (01:05:52) Lightning round — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/. For inquiries about sponsoring the podcast, email podcast@lennyrachitsky.com. — Lenny may be an investor in the companies discussed.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

career

Career

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

podcasts

Podcasts

Interviews with world-class product leaders and growth experts to uncover concrete, actionable, and tactical advice to help you build, launch, and grow your own product. www.lennysnewsletter.com

Lenny's Podcast: Product | Growth | Career

Why not asking for what you want is holding you back | Kenneth Berger (exec coach, first PM at Slack)

In their early days, Instagram treated all followers the same. This worked great for new users because they could follow and keep up-to-date with many celebrities. But, in 2016, IG noticed many people would leave the app after 7-8 months. This happened because when new users started posting photos of their own nobody would react to them. It felt like posting in an echo chamber.IG fixed it in 2017 by prioritizing posts from friends and ensuring new users connected to a few friends early on. It helped users get reactions from their friends and feel validated, and led to a 2x retention.

Instagram doubled their retention by prioritizing friends

Bangaly Kaba was an early growth PM at Facebook, head of growth at Instagram, and VP of Product at Instacart and is currently Director of Product at YouTube overseeing a global team working on creator monetization. Bangaly has also been a growth advisor to dozens of companies, including Twitter, on the board of multiple companies, and is an active angel investor. In our conversation, we discuss: • ⁠⁠A simple framework for choosing where to work and what to work on • ⁠⁠The importance of “understand work” • ⁠⁠The “adjacent users” theory and how it can help you drive growth • ⁠⁠Advice for coaching product managers • ⁠⁠Invaluable lessons from his time at Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube • ⁠⁠Much more — Brought to you by: • ⁠Uizard⁠—AI-powered prototyping for visionary product leaders • ⁠Mercury⁠—The powerful and intuitive way for ambitious companies to bank • ⁠Vanta⁠—Automate compliance. Simplify security. — Find the transcript and references at: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/frameworks-for-growing-your-career-bangaly-kaba — Where to find Bangaly Kaba: • X: https://twitter.com/iambangaly • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/iambangaly/ • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iambangaly/ — Where to find Lenny: • Newsletter: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com • X: https://twitter.com/lennysan • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lennyrachitsky/ — In this episode, we cover: (00:00) Bangaly’s background (06:31) Choosing where to work and what to work on (08:39) The impact factor (10:53) Evaluating the environment (15:53) The manager component (18:27) The skills part of the equation  (23:49) Advice on finding a mentor (25:42) The power of “understand work” (31:17) Operationalizing understand work (37:55) Balancing understand work  (41:25) Managing complex change (45:26) Effective management of product managers (51:35) The role of product managers as coaches and team leaders (54:52) Driving growth through flywheels and value proposition (01:03:14) Understanding adjacent users (01:08:41) The role of partnerships and SEO in Instagram’s early growth (01:16:08) The secret behind Instagram’s growth (01:25:37) Lessons from Facebook (01:29:15) Failure corner (01:31:58) Lightning round — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/. For inquiries about sponsoring the podcast, email podcast@lennyrachitsky.com. — Lenny may be an investor in the companies discussed.

startup

Startups

product

Product & Design

Unorthodox frameworks for growing your product, career, and impact | Bangaly Kaba (YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Instacart)

First, determine your baseline level by measuring your HRV at rest for 4-6 weeks. Measure it the same way every day, preferably first thing in the morning because that's the most stable part of your day.After this, compare your HRV to your rolling average and to the same day in the previous weeks:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">If it drops too much, you're in fight-or-flight mode likely due to a lot of stress</li><li class="ql-align-justify">If it rises too much, you're in rest-and-digest mode, but you're experiencing too much recovery due to accumulated stress, overtraining or sickness</li></ul>Either way, if your HRV is outside your baseline levels, you should rest.

How to interpret your HRV at rest stats

A higher HRV is generally a good thing, but there are exceptions that the app picks up on. You want your HRV to gradually increase over time (weeks, months, yea

health

Health

exerciseandfitness

Exercise & Fitness

longevity

Longevity

Is a higher Heart Rate Variability always better?

Your heart rate is constantly changing to adapt to what you're doing and keep your body in a steady state (homeostasis). As such, your Heart Rate Variability reflects your body's capacity to adapt to physical and psychological changes.In general, a higher HRV indicates better fitness, but too much variation means you're wasting energy. Worse even, too little variation indicates chronic health problems, where the body is struggling to adapt to changes.

A healthy heart is not a metronome

Heart Rate Variability: New Perspectives

If you are under pressure and your Heart Rate Variability is too high, your body goes into fight-or-flight mode and shuts down the brain's frontal lobe, which handles sophisticated thinking. This leads to poor thinking and hence to poor performance.Although this is an unconscious automatic process, you can control it. You have to notice such stressful situations and control your breathing rhythm. You want a smooth rhythmic breath with a fixed ratio of inhale to exhale (e.g. 4sec in, 6sec out). This regulates your HRV, making your brain's frontal lobe work better and helping you think better.

Breathe rhythmically to improve your thinking and performance

Your Heart Rate Variability is the one that affects your performance, not your Heart Rate. You can perform well both with a high HR and a low HR, as long as your HRV is optimal. However, if your HRV gets too high, your heart rate is erratic and your performance suffers.Your HRV depends on the emotional state you're in. Positive emotions such as excitement and contentment have an optimal HRV and thus enhance your performance, whereas negative emotions like anger and apathy have an abnormally high HRV and impair your performance.

Negative emotions impair your performance because their HRV is too high

Alan Watkins Performance Model

Alan is the founder and CEO of Complete Coherence Ltd. He is recognised as an international expert on leadership and human performance. He has researched and published widely on both subjects for over 18 years. He is currently an Honorary Senior Lecturer in Neuroscience and Psychological Medicine at Imperial College, London as well as an Affiliate Professor of Leadership at the European School of Management, London. He originally qualified as a physician, has a first class degree in psychology and a PhD in immunology.

Website: http://www.complete-coherence.com

- About TEDx -

In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

mindfulness

Mindfulness

meditation

Meditation

TEDx is an international community that organizes TED-style events anywhere and everywhere -- celebrating locally-driven ideas and elevating them to a global stage. TEDx events are produced independently of TED conferences, each event curates speakers on their own, but based on TED's format and rules.

TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy (https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization/our-policies-terms/ted-talks-usage-policy). 

For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request here: https://media-requests.ted.com.

TEDx Talks

TEDxPortsmouth - Dr. Alan Watkins - Being Brilliant Every Single Day (Part 1)

Dr. Alan Watkins - Being Brilliant Every Single Day

What we value determines what we do and what we buy. For example, if you value family, you will be drawn to anything that will be good for your family. If you value status, you will be drawn to anything that improves your status.If you know the values of your audience, you know what they are looking for.

Personalize marketing campaigns based on the values of your audience

<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Family</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Relationships</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Financial security</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Belonging</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Community</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Personal growth</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Loyalty</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Religion/Spirituality</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Employment security</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Personal responsibility</li></ol>

Top 10 values shared across cultures

You are not your demographics. You are your values.

How do you find out what values your target audience shares? The most 
accurate way in the world is to use the Valuegraphics Database.

marketingandsales

Marketing & Sales

business

Business

Use Valuegraphics for Your Marketing Campaigns

Your marketing campaigns should speak in a way that makes sense to your customers.There are 3 aspects to take into account:<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Demographics: age, gender, location, revenue etc.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Psychographics: what motivates them. Find out based on where your existing users came from and what they are doing most often in your app.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Valuegraphics: what they value (community, personal growth, etc.). Find out what matters to them because that influences what they buy. Look at reviews and user interviews.</li></ol>

Understand your customers to create better marketing campaigns

We are steering down the barrel of recession, but consumers’ appetite for subscriptions will likely continue to develop, and an increasing number of subscription businesses will share the pleasure. Subscriptions account for 82% of revenue regenerated on average by non-gaming apps. In the U.S., the annual spending on top subscription apps in the Apple App Store increased by ⅓ over a year, reaching 6 billion in 2021. Revenues on Google Play also rose a massive 78% to reach 2.5 billion the same year. What’s driving the rise of Subscription models?For consumers, it promises lower barriers to entry, convenience to purchase, and access to novel and curated content.For app businesses, it promises monetization and security.Despite the proven benefits, there are still many challenges that apps struggle with such as the notorious “subscription fatigue.”Listen to the full episode to learn about the state of the subscription economy, and success strategy recommendations by Peggy Anne Salz, a leading mobile marketer, and the chief analyst and founder of MobileGroove.For noteworthy quotes and key takeaways from the episode, read the article - The Subscription Model - the state, benefits, and success tips by Peggy Anne Salz (MobileGroove)Episode Topics at a GlanceThe state of the Subscription EconomyDealing with Subscription fatigueBenefits of Subscriptions How Subscription Apps can rise above challengesExample of SpotifyMore about Peggy Anne Salz As the chief analyst and founder of MobileGroove — a top 50 ranked destination providing analysis, custom research, and strategic content marketing to the global mobile industry, and mentoring and consulting to tech startups — Peggy Anne Salz is recognized as one of the leading experts shaping the mobile world. Peggy is also a nine-time author, a frequent Forbes contributor and guest contributor for a variety of leading media outlets — including Harvard Business Review — where she shares her insights on mobile marketing, mobile apps, customer engagement, and business innovation.Peggy produces podcasts, videos, webinars, and blogs to equip mobile marketers with best practices and growth strategies to power campaigns, brand storytelling, and user engagement. She is also the Chief Content Officer of MMA Germany.Peggy Anne Salz’s LinksPeggy’s Linkedin ProfilePeggy’s Twitter Peggy’s YouTube ChannelMobile Presence PodcastPeggy’s Author page on ForbesOther social media and contentMMA GermanyTimestamp00:22 Peggy Ann introduction01:11 Potential upcoming subscription trends02:12 Key points about the subscription economy05:20 Good examples of subscription apps07:51 How to connect with your customers10:42 Dealing with subscription fatigue13:24 What are psychographics?17:40 What's the power behind value graphics?20:10 Why are subscriptions so successful?22:00 Benefits to subscription apps26:24 Must-haves for subscriptions28:52 Your brand and retaining subscribers32:55 Peggy's book recommendations34:23 Peggy's upcoming book<

Welcome to the Subscription League podcast hosted by Purchasely, a world-class no-code Growth Platform for Subscription Apps. Drawing on the industry experience of Purchasely’s three award-winning founders, we sit down with CEOs, innovators, and experts to discuss hands-on experiences, pitfalls, and actionable insights and strategies for success. This podcast aims to guide you through your app subscription business journey. 

Subscription League

MobileGroove - The Subscription Model - the State, Benefits, and Success Tips by Peggy Anne Salz

MobileGroove - The Subscription Model

When you're in a caloric deficit, due to cutting or intermittent fasting, you have to do resistance training and eat more protein than usual in order to maintain your muscle mass. Aim for 2.0-2.2g/kg of protein per day.

Eat more protein during caloric deficit to maintain muscle mass

How much protein do you actually need? Everyone has a different answer — but THIS is what the science says. In this video, expect to learn:

(01:58) Protein requirements for people who lift weights
(03:54) How should overweight individuals calculate protein needs?
(07:09) Protein requirements for older individuals
(12:54) Benefits of spacing out protein intake
(18:00) The post-workout "anabolic window" 
(20:51) The most important thing when it comes to protein intake

Download the FREE 9-page Cognitive Enhancement Blueprint: 
https://bdnfprotocols.com/

Watch the full episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUy6HwOhT3U

food

Food

sports

Sports

A reservoir of clips taken from the FoundMyFitness expert interview series found on the main channel at youtube.com/foundmyfitness.

FoundMyFitness Clips

This Is How Much Protein You ACTUALLY Need | Dr. Brad Schoenfeld

Your job as a writer is not to convey your ideas, but to change the readers' ideas. As such, your essay needs to be clear, organized and persuasive, but above all else it has to be valuable to your readers. Its job is to help a reader understand better something they want to understand well.Things to keep in mind when writing:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Who am I writing for?</li><li class="ql-align-justify">How does my essay change the way they see the world? To inform? To inspire?</li><li class="ql-align-justify">How is my writing valuable?</li></ul>

Your essay must be valuable to your readers

Don't follow the standard essay structure from school, where you open with a background overview and definitions, and then move on to your thesis. This reads like "Here is what the community agrees upon and what I'm adding to it", which doesn't create any tension for your readers and doesn't make them want to read your essay.Instead, open with a problem your readers care about (they either have it or they care enough about it), creating tension around it and highlighting its cost/benefits, and then follow with your solution.

Open your essay with a problem your readers care about

To make your research paper valuable you must challenge the status quo in a way that's agreed upon in your community. Look at important papers in your domain and identify the words they've used to challenge the status quo. Make a list of these words and use them in your writing.Example words:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">To signal you're addressing an important problem: widely, accepted, reported</li><li class="ql-align-justify">To challenge existing ideas: nonetheless, however, although, but, inconsistent</li></ul>

Publishing an academic paper in your domain

Words to signal there's a community of people interested in what you're writing about:
<ul>
<li>Uniformly/Consistently viewed</li>
<li>Traditional/Fundamental approaches</li>
<li>Widely adopted/used/recognized/accepted</li>
<li>Long-standing problem</li>
</ul>
Words to challenge existing ideas and create tension:
<ul>
<li>However; in fact; although; unlikely</li>
<li>Not well understood</li>
<li>Limitations</li>
<li>Disagree with the premise</li>
</ul>

Common words in computer science research papers

Do you worry about the effectiveness of your writing style? As emerging scholars, perfecting the craft of writing is an essential component of developing as graduate students, and yet resources for honing these skills are largely under utilized. Larry McEnerney, Director of the University of Chicago's Writing Program, led this session in an effort to communicate helpful rules, skills, and resources that are available to graduate students interested in further developing their writing style. 


writing

Reading & Writing

education

Learning & Education

communication

Communication

With a commitment to free and open inquiry, our scholars take an interdisciplinary approach to research that draws from local and international sources, experimental and theoretical approaches; qualitative and quantitative methods; computational models and pencil-based notebooks. Their work transforms the way we understand the world, advancing fields of study, and often creating new ones. Generating new knowledge for the benefit of present and future generations, UChicago research has had an impact around the globe, leading to revolutionary theories of economics and tools to produce reliably excellent urban schooling.

UChicago Social Sciences

LEADERSHIP LAB: The Craft of Writing Effectively

Fast is better than slow.While slow is adding unnecessary embellishments, fast is out in the world. And that means fast can learn from experience while slow can only theorize.Those who ship quickly can improve quickly.So fast doesn't just win the race. It gets a head start for the next one.

The quick shall inherit the Earth

Facebook created it to explain the company's mission, history, and culture to new employees

Why not asking for what you want is holding you back | Kenneth Berger (exec coach, first PM at Slack)

Unorthodox frameworks for growing your product, career, and impact | Bangaly Kaba (YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Instacart)

Is a higher Heart Rate Variability always better?

Heart Rate Variability: New Perspectives

Dr. Alan Watkins - Being Brilliant Every Single Day

Ovidiu Podariu