Without an emotionally intelligent mind, we will simply live our lives at the mercy of life. Although, that’s already kind of how life works, but we have the power to control a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean ourselves. Stephen Covey called this “a lot” our Circle of Influence in his best-selling book, The Seven Habits of Effective People. Taking charge of our emotional intellect doubly causes to take charge of this Circle of Influence. And it will help us live an effective life with others and with ourselves.

How To Be Emotionally Intelligent. 

Read books concerning emotional intelligence, listen to podcasts, and watch YouTube videos.You might not need to take all the advice you see on the internet because let’s be honest, sometimes it’s just a bunch of hooey. However, like they all say, and when I say “they”, I’m not exactly sure who. But, it’s the effort that counts.

1. Constantly Educate Yourself.

Heck, start journaling. I know many people think you have to be a girl or be gay to write about your feelings, but that’s far from the truth.Spending time with yourself will need to become a priority of yours, for you to figure out your emotions; what they do to you, and how they are going to work for you.

2. Invest Yourself Into Learning About Your Emotions. 

Okay, fine. You’ve decided that you want to be a more emotionally intelligent person.You need to pay in the effort to study yourself day in and day out. Stay committed, okay. Stay. Stay. Don’t leave.

3. Be Committed To Creating Yourself. 

Sure, you might not really like yourself, and doing that is not compulsory in this task.In the end, the results always rub off on you even though you don’t expect it or do it for yourself.

4. Realize That The End Results Would Be Benefit You. 

Look around your immediate environment. Who do you notice that embodies the characteristics of someone who is emotionally intelligent, huh?There’s got to be someone, look harder. Anyway, I’d leave you to do that until you find someone. But when you do, stalk this person, and I don’t mean in a way that’d get you arrested by the police. I mean, just pay attention to their behaviours for those key details, and learn every single one of them.

5. Study The Behaviours Of Emotionally Intelligent People.

Sometimes, we know the truth, but because it’s true, we ignore it. Why? Well, the truth fucking hurts. It sucks for someone to tell you the only reason you’re liked is because of your money, so we ignore it and think it’s because we’re superb-looking when that differs from reality.Learn from places you’d least expect to learn from. When someone disagrees with your beliefs, you may not always need to fight back with all the fire and brimstone you can gather.

6. Learn To Accept The Truth. 

Honesty to others may be the best policy. But do you know what’s an even better policy? Honesty to oneself. This is because it’s harder to tell everyone the truth when you are the living manifestation of a lie.If you are honest about your strengths and weaknesses, with your emotional intelligence, you will learn at a faster rate.

7. Be Honest To Yourself. 

Have you ever fantasized about being untouchable; envisioning yourself as this impenetrable brick wall of character that people can’t fuck with no matter how hard they try.Well, you can get there. All you need to do is to make that first step to developing a higher EQ.

8.Aim To Be A Dope Ass Strong Ass Emotionally Strong Person. 

Emotional intelligence is a state you get to when you have eaten enough emotional veggies.When you are emotionally malnourished, you crash and burn when anything puts a strain on you. While those who have digested enough emotional veggies get to draw on the strength gotten from the emotional reserve, and be strong in the face of an adversary. Eat your veggies, kids.

9. Take Emotional Unintelligence As A Malnourishment. 

None of us are perfect. Everything that’s existing in the world today is because of imperfect human beings like you and me, proposing our assumptions of how things ought to be. And I can’t even name how many of these assumptions are biased towards our feelings and emotions.

10. Stop Expecting To Be Perfect. 

In previous posts, we talked about the WHY’S and the WHAT’S of emotional intelligence. Now, it’s “time” for the HOW. For one to achieve anything, time is an important factor. Without time, one can’t simply have enough time to make time. To get fulfill the how’s of emotional intelligence, we need time. Without an emotionally…

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Personal Development

habits

Habits

mentalhealth

Mental Health

Understanding emotional intelligence: 10 ways to be emotionally intelligent.

1. Emotional Intelligence Allows You To Form Better Relationships With People. When we are emotionally intelligent, it relaxes us towards other people’s assumptions. We also tend to have more and better social connections than those who aren’t.

When we are emotionally intelligent, it relaxes us towards other people’s assumptions. We also tend to have more and better social connections than those who aren’t.

1. Emotional Intelligence Allows You To Form Better Relationship

In the face of disaster, emotionally intelligent people are often the ones who know the right moves to make. They have a bird’s-eye view of the problems and can analyze situations carefully.

2. Emotional Intelligence Gives You Good Judgement. 

Emotionally intelligent people can address situations with a mix of rationality and reason. They are always constantly looking for new and updated ways of challenging their own beliefs and biases. These people are also well-read and open-minded.

3. Emotional Intelligence Enables You To Be Open-minded. 

Emotionally intelligent people are at a lower risk to engage in substance abuse when faced with issues that throw them out of their comfort zones. The safe space they have in their minds through the understanding of their emotions and feelings helps them look inwards for peace. They have coping mechanisms that are internal.

4. Emotional Intelligence Reduces Risk To Drug Addiction. 

An educated mind is not necessarily one that has a high school diploma or a college degree. That person is someone who has a wide field of thought and knowledge that he/she can tap into when faced with life. Schools hardly teach us to develop a mind that’s educated with life’s realities, but one’s that’s educated by the school’s curriculum.

5. Emotional Intelligence Causes You To Develop An Educated Mind

Your words will have sufficient seasoning as an emotionally intelligent person. You wouldn’t be so quick to drop your opinions about people or situations without prior reflection on what you are about to say.

6. Emotional Intelligence Improves Your Communication.

The pain of daily vicissitudes will hardly get under your skin as an emotionally intelligent person. You will be committed to fighting through the hassles of the day in ways that won’t leave you burnt out or yelling at your kids.

7. Emotional Intelligence Leads To Higher Stress Resistance. 

If Hitler was emotionally intelligent, maybe he could have told the Jews that they upset him with their existence in a non-threatening and polite manner. That way, we may have spared about six million lives due to the Holocaust.

8. Emotional Intelligence Keeps Us At Peace. 

Emotionally intelligent people are attuned to their feelings. So if perhaps someone like that develops suicidal feelings or thoughts, he/she is likely to seek help. Why? Because he/she knows that a lack of serotonin present in the brain causes those feelings, not that everyone despises them, the future doesn’t exist, and they’d be better off dead.

9. Emotional Intelligence Can Prevent Depression.

How does it feel to be in charge of where your emotions take you? Great, I tell you. Your asshole ex may never drunk-text into sleeping with them again; you can tell your wife that you don’t like the way she spoke to your mother without breaking perfectly good chinaware. The thing is, humans like it when they’re in control. It makes them happy. And with emotional intelligence, we can continually grow this ability, evolving into the best versions of ourselves.

10. Emotional Intelligence Increases Your Self-esteem. 

In the last blog post, we talked about ways to identify someone who is emotionally intelligent. In this one, we’ll be talking about reasons emotional intelligence is important. 1. Emotional Intelligence Allows You To Form Better Relationships With People. When we are emotionally intelligent, it relaxes us towards other people’s assumptions. We also tend to…

Understand yourself and those around you.

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Psychology

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Health

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Teamwork

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Science & Nature

Understanding emotional intelligence: 10 reasons emotional intelligence is important.

This is also known as EQ. It is less popular than “fluid or crystallized” intelligence or IQ, which is estimated to determine roughly 20 percent of a person’s success in life.However, this doesn’t make EQ less important.A person who has a substantial EQ is very much relevant in today’s world, maybe even over one with a higher IQ.Whoever made us structured the human brain to function in a way that makes us make impressively stupid decisions. That you are an emotional wreck is normal. You don’t need to freak out.Here are ten ways to know if you are emotionally intelligent:

What Is Emotional intelligence?

Someone who is emotionally intelligent knows that he/she is not a knower of all. These people don’t feel the need to over substantiate their points in an argument. They are careful listeners, and they know when it’s time to let go of a stance when it seems doubtful.

2. You Don’t Feel The Need To Always Be Right. 

To be emotionally intelligent means being skilled at taking no for an answer. They know that not everyone may agree with the way they think the universe should work; they sleep well at night knowing this.Someone does not smother their egos when a contradictory statement is made about them.

3. You Understand Consent. 

The words of others don’t easily sway emotionally intelligent people. They carefully weigh uncommon knowledge against their standards of reasoning before giving it a chance to influence them. Advertising gimmicks, or the alluring words of a suitor, do not easily fool them.

4. You Are Not Easily Swayed By Words. 

If Esther was emotionally intelligent, she wouldn’t have slammed her phone on the floor immediately after she found out Cynthia had more Instagram followers than she does.Now, Cynthia not only has to deal with a bruised ego but a bruised phone as well.Anger is not a bad thing. However, when mismanaged, it often leads to chaos.

5. You Are Unhurried To Anger

In responding to others in real-life situations, only few people have the patience to suppress the fury of their emotions. Postponing gratification prevents you from picking fights with unpleasant people, only to realize you were at fault

6. You Can Postpone Gratification. 

When you have a goal and you don’t plan for it; it’s merely a wish. Emotionally intelligent people are more likely to have the coordination to plan critically for the future, despite spur-of-the-moment distractions. They don’t do things because regular people are doing them. The only things they involve themselves in are those things they genuinely care about.

7. You Are A Realistic Goal-setter. 

Emotionally sound people know when they’ve made a blunder, and they sincerely apologize for it. However, many people lack this simple skill in today’s world.Parents have too much of an ego to spare to enable them to apologize for mistreating his/her kids. This is not a sign of high EQ.

8. You Know When And How To Apologize. 

“Who you speak so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying,” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.An emotionally intelligent person is very sensitive to social cues. They can easily notice strange behavior in a friend or partner without being told.It is also in their nature to connect to those who are in pain or are suffering.

9. You Have Empathy 

One key sign of an emotionally intelligent person is that he/she has great self-respect. They can stand up for themselves if someone treats them against their will. Emotionally intelligent people are also sensitive against threats to their sense of self and do well to guide themselves.

10. You Are Assertive Without Being Disrespectful. 

Disclaimer: I don’t own the any of these images (found them on Pinterest), and the full copyright belongs to the owners.

Emotionally intelligent people are the contrary. They are skilled in selecting alternatives based on their principles. Also, if they make wrong choices, as everyone does at some point, they dare to live with their blunders.

1. You Consider Alternatives Before Taking Major Steps. 

Emotional intelligence:It also known as EQ. It is less popular than "fluid or crystallized" intelligence or IQ, which is estimated to determine roughly 20 percent of a person’s success in life.However, this doesn’t make EQ less important.A person who has a substantial EQ is very much relevant in today’s world, maybe even over one with…

communication

Communication

Understanding Emotional Intelligence: 10 ways to know whether you are emotionally intelligent.

Mental health is a topic that affects all of us in different ways. You don’t need to be suffering from the symptoms of a mental illness before you show concern for yours. The stigma surrounding mental health awareness has to be completely eradicated for us to move forward as healthy individuals all around.

1. Only Mentally Ill People Talk About Mental Health.

Many people often assume that people who have mental illnesses always display obvious symptoms that they are conscious of. This is not always accurate often because people who may have the illness may see it as a normal way of life. It is important for everyone to pay attention to their mental state, even when supposedly okay. A habit of doing this can help to reduce the rate of occurrence of severe mental illnesses.

2 People Suffering From Mental Illness Are Always Aware Of It.

Sometimes, those that post online content that carry subliminal messages of depression or suicide are often leaving out a cry for help. Other people who may suffer from these symptoms may be too shy to express themselves in the open. Hence, it’s important to treat all people with care and kindness.

3. People Who Post About Mental Illness are attention seekers.

People are different. Some are more fragile than others, and because of this, we can’t expect everyone to take life the same way. Some people might be comfortable drinking and doing drugs after a breakup, others may just be sad for a while, and continue with life. A few might get swung into depression and may even consider taking their own lives.

4. Everyone Has Problems. So To Hell With Mental Health.

Tons of research done have shown that just a slight change in a person’s mood can cause or trigger stomach upset, migraines or even body pains. Several people have also testified that after a breakup or losing a loved one, they had the feeling of their heart actually breaking.

5. How I Look Is More Important Than How I Feel.

Sometimes, when we feel a certain way, we are quick to label ourselves as having some type of mental illness. This shouldn’t be so because it makes those who actually have these issues look really dumb. It needs to be stopped.

6. Being Sad Means You’re Or Depressed Or Have Anxiety

Although I hate to admit it, even one of my formerly beloved shows, 13 Reasons Why, fell guilty of this claim. Hannah Baker, the protagonist, takes her life, and leaves a box of tapes containing her reasons why.In the series, she looks like the Messiah who suddenly shows everyone the wrong in their ways. It sort of gives suicide this kind of glorifying look to teach people a lesson. Suicides are ugly in reality.

7. Sadness Is Aesthetic, And Depression Can be Fun.

Factually, having a mental illness can never make you special. There are over 264 million people of all ages who suffer from depression today, and someone dies from suicide nearly every 40 seconds. When differentiating those with mental illnesses from the fakes, It’s sometimes easy to know the latter because they often give an exaggerated view of their “predicament”.

8. Mental Illness Is A Way To Give Meaning To Your Life.

Several people think that having a mental illness, such as depression or anxiety, excuses them to be assholes.Having a mental illness should not make you unaccountable for yourself.

9. Having A Mental Illness Excuses You To Be An Asshole.

Your therapist is human too. She probably has a kid who she’s trying to talk out of doing crack, and she may feel stressed about her husband’s poor communication skills.Someone being able to help you address some of your issues doesn’t mean they don’t have issues of their own. They might have someone who is more experienced than they do that for them.

10. Mental Health Professionals Have Perfect Mental Health.

Let's talk about mental health: It’s one of the broadest topics on wellbeing out there, given its elusive nature. It affects us all, whether we are aware or not. Mental health refers to a person’s condition regarding their emotional, psychological and sometimes, even social well-being. Without proper functioning mental health, we may have issues relating…

Ten common misconceptions about mental health.

Assume I gave your friend $3 million, and I asked you to save a penny for a month, with it slowly doubling each day. Which would you pick?If you’ve come across this gambit before, you know picking the penny is the right option. Yet, why is it, in reality, a decision like this would be so hard to make? On day ten, you have $5.12 while your friend is still in the millions. Day 20, you’re still stuck with $5,243.The real magic happens on day 29. You have 3million dollars, and your friend may have spent half his cash. Day 30, you have $10,737,414.24 This is the magic of the compound effect.

The Compound Effect in Action - The Magic Penny.

People don’t achieve who they are overnight, but because of a series of choices that they have made.We humans often make bad choices because we love anything that provides us with instant gratification. If you immediately developed lung cancer, the moment you picked up that cigarette, I’m sure you wouldn’t think twice about stopping smoking for good.Any awful habit repeated over a long period takes you one step farther away from your future goals. Similarly, every decent habit performed diligently over time pushes you a step closer.

Choices. 

"We are what we repeatedly do, Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit."

Your habits can either make or mar you. The thing about successful people is that they structure their life with habits that are in line with their core values and goals.Habits help to keep us sane and moving. Without them, we will spend too much time each day processing everything and anything. Which will inevitably slow down our progress and cause us burnout.Even the tiniest addition of a promising habit to one’s life can cause significant differences in the long term if one is consistent.

Habits. 

There's a friend that is close to Richard Branson, Lance Armstrong, Jeff Bezos, Michael Phelps, Bill Gates, and every other superachiever.His name is Big Mo.Big Mo (or what you may commonly call momentum) is hard to unleash, but once you are able to harness it, it can catapult you to heights you never imagined.The only to trigger Big Mo is through long and sometimes hard effort, repeated over time.Inconsistency is the only thing that can kill Big Mo, and once it’s dead, you would have to start all over to get it functioning.

Momentum.

You are the average of five of the people you spend most of your time with.And these people, or sometimes, things, we surround ourselves with have a subtle but powerful influence over our lives.Although we may not notice it, billions of stimuli bombard our brains each day. The control we have over our lives enables us to choose what we let in.If we aren’t choosing to allow positivity and things pertinent to our general well-being to permeate us, it will condition us to live, reacting to everything that is thrown at us. Which would be devastating.

Influences. 

As we undertake our journey of letting the compound interest work for us, whether we like it, we are going to encounter brick walls.These times are when we will be pushed far away from our limits. We will have to look deep within ourselves for our true nature; if we are going to crack like nuts or persevere through the odds. And if we eventually overcome this barrier that separates our old selves from who we desire to be, that is when the true, lasting change happens, pushing us far ahead of the competition.

Acceleration. 

The New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller, based on the principle that little, everyday decisions will either take you to the life you desire or to disaster by default. No gimmicks. No Hyperbole. No Magic Bullet. The Compound Effect is a distillation of the fundamental principles that have guided the most phenomenal achievements in business, relationships, and beyond. This easy-to-use, step-by-step operating system allows you to multiply your success, chart your progress, and achieve any desire. If you're serious about living an extraordinary life, use the power of The Compound Effect to create the success you want. You will find strategies including: How to win--every time! The No. 1 strategy to achieve any goal and triumph over any competitor, even if they're smarter, more talented or more experienced. Eradicating your bad habits (some you might be unaware of!) that are derailing your progress. The real, lasting keys to motivation--how to get yourself to do things you don't feel like doing. Capturing the elusive, awesome force of momentum. Catch this, and you'll be unstoppable. The acceleration secrets of superachievers. Do they have an unfair advantage? Yes they do, and now you can too!

books

Books

The New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller, based on the principle that little, everyday decisions will either take you to the life you desire or to disaster by default. No gimmicks. No Hyperbole. No Magic Bullet. The Compound Effect is a distillation of the fundamental principles that have guided the most phenomenal achievements in business, relationships, and beyond. This easy-to-use, step-by-step operating system allows you to multiply your success, chart your progress, and achieve any desire. If you're serious about living an extraordinary life, use the power of The Compound Effect to create the success you want. You will find strategies including: <ul><li>How to win--every time! The No. 1 strategy to achieve any goal and triumph over any competitor, even if they're smarter, more talented or more experienced.</li><li>Eradicating your bad habits (some you might be unaware of!) that are derailing your progress.</li><li>The real, lasting keys to motivation--how to get yourself to do things you don't feel like doing.</li><li>Capturing the elusive, awesome force of momentum. Catch this, and you'll be unstoppable.</li><li>The acceleration secrets of superachievers. Do they have an unfair advantage? Yes they do, and now you can too! </li></ul>

Darren Hardy is an American author, keynote speaker, advisor, and former publisher of SUCCESS magazine. Hardy is a New York Times best-selling author, who wrote The Entrepreneur Roller Coaster, Living Your Best Year Ever and The Compound Effect. 

Darren Hardy

The Compound Effect

The power of choice is one of the greatest gifts we human beings possess. We are always choosing regardless of whether we are aware of it. Till we die. When we forgo one alternative, we are indirectly choosing something else.When we choose our struggles, we feel strong and empowered. When those circumstances influence us against our will, we often feel miserable and unhappy.The genuine question is, what are we choosing to care about? What values are we choosing to base our lives on? What metrics are we using to measure our lives? And are those excellent choices - values or metrics?

You are always choosing.

Uncertainty is the enemy of growth. Instead of seeking for certainty, we should be in a steady search for doubt.•Uncertainty stops us from judging others, it prompts the unnecessary stereotyping and predispositions that we normally have.•Uncertainty relieves us of our judgment of ourselves. We don't know if we are lovable or not; we don't know how attractive we are; we don't know how prosperous we could potentially become. The only way to fulfill these things is to remain uncertain of them and be open to finding them out through experience.

You‘re Wrong About Everything (but so am I).

Our most revolutionary changes in perspective often happen at the awful times in life. It's only when we feel serious pain that we're willing to look at our values and question why they seem to be ceasing to function.Pain is part of the process.It's important to feel it. Because if you just chase after thrills to cover up the pain, if you continue to indulge in entitlement and delusional optimistic thinking, if you continue to overfill in various substances or activities, then you'll never generate the requisite motivation to actually improve.

Failure Is The Way Forward.

Rejection makes your life better. We need to dismiss something otherwise we stand for nothing. If nothing is better or more preferable than anything else, then we are empty and our life is meaningless. We are without values and therefore and without any purpose.The avoidance of rejection (both allotting and gaining it) is often a way to make ourselves feel better. But averting rejection gives us short-term pleasure by making us rudderless and directionless in the long term.

The Importance of Saying No.

Death frightens us. And because it terrifies us, we avoid thinking about it, speaking about it, occasionally even accepting it, even when it's happening to someone close to us.Death is the only thing we can know with certainty. The only way to be comfortable with death is to realize and see yourself something larger than yourself; to select values that span beyond serving yourself, that are easy and timely and controllable and tolerant of the turbulent world around you.

...And Then You Die

'An in-your-face guide to living with integrity and finding happiness in sometimes-painful places.' Kirkus 'Hilarious, vulgar, and immensely thought-provoking. Only read if you're willing to set aside all excuses and take an active role in living a f*cking better life.' Steve Kamb, bestselling author of Level Up Your Life and founder of nerdfitness.com EVERYTHING WE'VE BEEN TOLD ABOUT HOW TO IMPROVE OUR LIVES IS WRONG. NOW SUPERSTAR BLOGGER MARK MANSON TELLS US WHAT WE NEED TO DO TO GET IT RIGHT. For decades, we've been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. Drawing on academic research and the life experience that comes from breaking the rules, Mark Manson is ready to explode that myth. The key to a good life, according to Manson, is the understanding that 'sometimes shit is f*cked up and we have to live with it.' Manson says that instead of trying to turn lemons into lemonade, we should learn to stomach lemons better, and stop distracting ourselves from life's inevitable disappointments chasing 'shit' like money, success and possessions. It's time to re-calibrate our values and what it means to be happy: there are only so many things we can give a f*ck about, he says, so we need to figure out which ones really matter. From the writer whose blog draws two million readers a month and filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humour, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck is a welcome antidote to the 'let's-all-feel-good' mindset that has infected modern society.

#1 New York Times BestsellerOver 10 million copies soldIn this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Mark Manson (born 1984) is a professional blogger, entrepreneur, and former dating coach. Since 2007, he's been helping people with their emotional and relationship problems. He has worked with thousands of people from over 30 different countries. He regularly writes and updates his blog at: www.markmanson.net

Mark Manson

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

<ul><li>Understanding the whole damn concept: Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent. Rather, it is the art of wisely choosing the fucks that we do decide to give.</li><li>Hence, the sad truth: You see, you are going to die soon. And probably everyone you know and love will, too. And in the short time between now and then, YOU HAVE A VERY LIMITED AMOUNT OF FUCKS TO GIVE. Hence, it is important that you make selective choices of the things you devote your time and attention to (or give a fuck about) before then, or you're likely going to get, um? FUCKED.</li></ul>

The first step to not giving a fuck.

Many of us have the belief that our happiness will come when we achieve certain things. We think: when I have that car A or get married to that girl B or graduate from college with that GPA of C, then I'll be truly happy.The truth is there is no real value that comes from acquiring all these things apart from the ones that we give them.If eventually, you do acquire, A, B, or C. There will be new problems that stem from those things that you have acquired, only that you may have problems that will be better than what existed before.

Step 2: Happiness is a problem. 

Truth is, there is no such thing as a personal problem if you have a problem, chances are there are millions of people who are having the same problem, have had it, or will have it in the future.This does not minimize the problem or mean that you are not legitimately a victim of that problem. It simply means that you are not special.Often, it's the realization that you and your problems are not actually unique in their severity or pain that is the first and foremost step of solving it. ﻿

You are not special.

Suffering is inevitable in life. But sometimes, as much as we dread the idea of suffering, suffering is not always associated with something negative, and in fact, it can be enjoyable, that's if it's in our control and directed toward some greater purpose.Now that we know that suffering is inevitable and our problems are unavoidable, then the question we should be asking is not "How do I stop suffering?" but "Why am I suffering, for what purpose?" Once we determine this and change our mindset toward it. Suffering takes on a new dimension and becomes more endurable.

The value of suffering. 

#1 New York Times Bestseller Over 1 million copies sold In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

•Being perfect before you can love yourself.•You need external validation to assist you in loving yourself.•You feel you are not worthy of love, so it’s hard to do.

Misconceptions most people commonly have about loving themselves. 

•Loving yourself is a habit, and like any other habit, it requires practice.•The best form of love you can gain is self-love. Love from other sources may be temporary, but the love you give yourself is always there when you need it.•Every one is deserving of love. But loving yourself is a choice. And this requires you to believe that you are worthy of it. That way, it will be easier for you to love yourself and even give love to others.

Facts about loving yourself. 

<ul><li>Practicing daily affirmations (e.g. saying “I love myself”) repeatedly to yourself.</li></ul>•Once you track them, replace the negative thoughts in your mind with positive thoughts.•Spending an amount of time daily to express gratitude for all the good things that have happened to you. It could be in form of journal entries or just quiet meditation.

How can you love yourself? 

THE SELF-PUBLISHED PHENOMENON —NOW FULLY REVISED AND EXPANDED I almost didn’t publish Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It. Here I was, a CEO who’d fallen apart after his company failed, writing a book about how loving himself saved him. I thought I’d be a laughingstock and my career would be finished. But I stepped through the fears and shared my truth with the world. The book went viral. Amazing people all over bought copies for friends and family. For some, this book saved their lives. For others, it was the first time they ever loved themselves.Many readers reached out and asked questions. This taught me that, to create lasting impact, I had to go deeper. So, seven years later, here it is. All the questions I received, resolved. My intention is that by the time you finish this new edition, not only will you be committed to loving yourself, you’ll know exactly how to do it. And, most importantly, how to make it last.

I've been fortunate enough to have some amazing experiences in my life so far. I've trekked to one of the highest base camps in the Himalayas, meditated with Tibetan monks in the Dalai Lama's monastery, earned my US Army Infantry patch, walked 550 miles across Spain, lived in Paris, been the only non-black, non-woman member of the Black Women's writers' group, written a novel, held the hands of dying patients, and worked with some of the best people in Silicon Valley.But the most transformative experience has been the simple act of loving myself.

Kamal Ravikant

Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It

Break-ups are hard and sometimes unavoidable. But some things can be done to make sure that when we do find that significant other, they are less likely to head for the door at the slightest impulse.

Why most relationships don‘t last as long as expected.

LOVE in its genuine form is free-giving. It is the unconditional giving of oneself to another person.Yet, why do we find ourselves delighted when our actions are reciprocated by our spouse, but resentful when they aren't?Many times, this happens because we make our lover the primary source of our emotional gratification.Once you find unique ways to make yourself happy, by yourself, your relationship would flourish in the same way.

We expect love in return for love. 

There's a belief that being in a relationship entails that you be yourself, fully, at all times.Well, in reality, when you love someone and you want what you have to last, you might need to learn how to caution some of the ways you feel and act.It general, this will prevent you from making split-second-feeling-based decisions that would have been overlooked if it was given logical reasoning, giving rise to regrets and unnecessary apologies.

Self-control is important. 

Being in a relationship comes with vulnerabilities, and this entails that you and your lover participate in communication that is HEALTHY, OPEN, AND SINCERE.We often want to associate telepathy with being in a relationship, that can be fun and normal, but we must also not forget to ask important questions when the need arises.This would create an atmosphere of trust between you both and can only build the bond stronger and stronger as you keep the good flow of communication going.

Communication has and will always be key. 

﻿"Love is messy and horrible and selfish...and bold".

Curated by professional editors, The Conversation offers informed commentary and debate on the issues affecting our world. Plus a Plain English guide to the latest developments and discoveries from the university and research sector.

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

In-depth analysis, research, news and ideas from leading academics and researchers.

Being diagnosed with terminal cancer at age 47 can change your perspective of what is important in life, and this was the case of a College professor named Randy Pausch.Having three to 6 months of good health left, he strived to ensure that he was living his life fully and not allowing his current health status to affect the quality of the days he had left.

Gratitude.

Time goes by really fast in life. And if gratitude isn't part of your everyday agenda then it might be time that you make it one.<ul><li>Realizing that you have all it takes to happy to be happy within you can only promote the feelings of happiness that you have.</li></ul>

Awareness. 

The last lecture can be a big boost of motivation to those who think that there is nothing more to achieve in life.A closer analysis to all the things that you have accomplished may just be what you need to feel more content.

<ul><li>"We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won’t make us happier."</li></ul>

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."---Randy Pausch A lot of professors give talks titled "The Last Lecture." Professors are asked to consider their demise and to ruminate on what matters most to them. And while they speak, audiences can't help but mull the same question: What wisdom would we impart to the world if we knew it was our last chance? If we had to vanish tomorrow, what would we want as our legacy? When Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon, was asked to give such a lecture, he didn't have to imagine it as his last, since he had recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer. But the lecture he gave--"Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams"--wasn't about dying. It was about the importance of overcoming obstacles, of enabling the dreams of others, of seizing every moment (because "time is all you have...and you may find one day that you have less than you think"). It was a summation of everything Randy had come to believe. It was about living. In this book, Randy Pausch has combined the humor, inspiration and intelligence that made his lecture such a phenomenon and given it an indelible form. It is a book that will be shared for generations to come.

After being diagnosed with terminal cancer, a professor shares the lessons he's learned—about living in the present, building a legacy, and taking full advantage of the time you have—in this life-changing classic."We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." —Randy PauschA lot of professors give talks titled "The Last Lecture." Professors are asked to consider their demise and to ruminate on what matters most to them. And while they speak, audiences can't help but mull over the same question: What wisdom would we impart to the world if we knew it was our last chance? If we had to vanish tomorrow, what would we want as our legacy?When Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon, was asked to give such a lecture, he didn't have to imagine it as his last, since he had recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer. But the lecture he gave—"Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams"—wasn't about dying. It was about the importance of overcoming obstacles, of enabling the dreams of others, of seizing every moment (because "time is all you have . . . and you may find one day that you have less than you think"). It was a summation of everything Randy had come to believe. It was about living.In this book, Randy Pausch has combined the humor, inspiration and intelligence that made his lecture such a phenomenon and given it an indelible form. It is a book that will be shared for generations to come.

I am flattered and embarassed by all the recent attention to my "Last Lecture." I am told that, including abridged versions, over six million people have viewed the lecture online. The lecture really was for my kids, but if others are finding value in it, that is wonderful. But rest assured; I'm hardly unique. Send your kids to Carnegie Mellon and the other professors here will teach them valuable life lessons long after I'm gone.  -- RandyRandy Pausch was a Professor of Computer Science, Human-Computer Interaction, and Design at Carnegie Mellon University (CMU) in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States and a best-selling author, who achieved worldwide fame for his "The Last Lecture" speech on September 18, 2007 at Carnegie Mellon Universi

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