Interdependence (or interdependency) suggests that partners recognize and value the importance of the emotional bond they share while maintaining a solid sense of self within the relationship dynamic. An interdependent person recognizes the value of vulnerability, being able to turn to their partner in meaningful ways to create emotional intimacy. They also value a sense of self that allows them and their partner to be themselves without any need to compromise who they are or their values system.

What Is Interdependence?

As valuable as having a sense of independence is, taken to an extreme, this can actually get in the way of us being able to connect emotionally with others in a meaningful way. Emotional intimacy with a partner can be difficult to achieve, even scary or not seen as particularly valuable in a relationship, for those who have an extraordinary sense of independence.

A codependent person tends to rely heavily on others for their sense of self and well-being. There is no ability for that person to distinguish where they end and their partner begins, there is an enmeshed sense of responsibility to another person to meet their needs and/or for their partner to meet all of their needs to feel okay about who they are.

Interdependence Is Not Codependence 

<ul><li>Poor/no boundaries</li><li>People-pleasing behaviors</li><li>Reactivity</li><li>Unhealthy, ineffective communication</li><li>Manipulation</li><li>Difficulty with emotional intimacy</li><li>Controlling behaviors</li><li>Blaming each other</li><li>Low self-esteem of one or both partners</li><li>No personal interests or goals outside the relationship</li></ul> Codependent relationships are not healthy and do not allow partners room to be themselves, to grow, and to be autonomous.

Traits of a codependent relationship include:

“[Codependency involves] someone who has lost their core sense of self, so that his or her thinking and behavior revolves around someone or something external, including a person, a substance, or an activity, such as sex or gambling.”

<ul><li>Interdependence involves a balance of self and others within the relationship, recognizing that both partners are working to be present and meet each other's physical and emotional needs in appropriate and meaningful ways.</li><li>Partners are not demanding of one another and they do not look to their partner for feelings of worthiness. </li><li>Interdependency gives each partner space to maintain a sense of self, room to move toward each other in times of need and the freedom to make these decisions without fear of what will happen in the relationship.</li></ul>

Why Interdependence Is Healthy for a Relationship

<ul><li>Healthy boundaries</li><li>Active listening</li><li>Time for personal interests</li><li>Clear communication</li><li>Taking personal responsibility for behaviors</li><li>Creating safety for each other to be vulnerable</li><li>Engaging and responding to each other</li><li>Healthy self-esteem</li><li>Being open and approachable with each other</li></ul> When partners feel cherished and valued, the relationship becomes a safe haven and a place where the couple can be interdependent. They understand that they are not alone in the relationship, can turn toward each other safely in times of need, and feel secure that their partner will be present.

Characteristics of an Interdependent Relationship

Be mindful of who you are from the beginning. Many times people are looking for or entering relationships simply to avoid feeling alone, without any personal reflection of who they are, what they value, and their goals for the relationship.Taking time for this kind of personal reflection allows you to enter a new relationship with an awareness of self that is critical for the establishment of a relationship based on interdependency.

How to Build an Interdependent Relationship 

Licensed psychotherapist Sharon Martin, LCSW suggests it is important to maintain a sense of self in your intimate relationships. She suggests the following ways:<ul><li>Knowing what you like and what matters to you</li><li>Not being afraid to ask for what you want</li><li>Spend time with friends and family</li><li>Continue pursuing your personal goals</li><li>Be mindful of your values</li><li>Make time for hobbies and interests</li><li>Don't be afraid to say "no"</li><li>Don't keep yourself small or hidden to please others</li></ul>

Maintain a sense of self

Starting your relationship in this way can allow for the development of a safe space for both partners to learn how to turn toward each other intimately without fear of losing themselves or being controlled or manipulated.Take time to reflect on who you are and what you want in your most important relationships. Being mindful of this in the dating process can help ensure that your relationship will be healthy and more solid for the long term. If you are in a relationship already, it's never too late to examine your and your partner's values to ensure that you remain aligned.

Closing Points

When we think of our ideal relationships we often think of a wonderful, lifelong relationship with our most important person. How do we build that kind of relationship?

Interdependence is not the same as codependency. Learn what interdependence is and how it might be the key to enjoying a lasting intimate relationship.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

mentalhealth

Mental Health

communication

Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

teamwork

Teamwork

Interdependence Can Build a Lasting and Safe Relationship

The terms introvert and extrovert were first socialized in the 1920s by psychologist Carl Jung. Scientists don’t know for sure the causes of introversion or extroversion. However, researchers have found that introverts have a higher blood flow to their frontal lobe; this is the part of the brain that helps with memory, problem-solving, and planning. They like to think in silence. When you see the quiet people in the room, be aware that the silence is just an illusion: there’s nothing quiet inside, but hundreds of voices and competing ideas. There’s no peace, no rest. An introvert’s job is to break through the clutter, eliminate the noise and listen to one voice and one only. It’s an exhausting and meticulous task.

like to think in silence. When you see the quiet people in the room, be aware that the silence is just an illusion: there’s nothing quiet inside, but hundreds of voices and competing ideas. There’s no peace, no rest.

Introverts Live In A Parallel Universe 

An introvert’s job is to break through the clutter, eliminate the noise and listen to only voice. But an introvert won’t tell you any of that. They might only share their idea when asked, or sometimes interrogated, and only if it has passed their very high standards.

An exhausting and meticulous task

They might shut down in a loud group, not because they are shy but because that’s not their element.They won’t fight for attention because they have bigger fights to battle, and they are all inside their brain.

Introverts don’t like to waste words. Or time. 

<ul><li>We find peace in silence. We can filter through hundreds of ideas until we find the one we want the world to listen to.</li><li>We can express how we really feel without having to compete for attention we don’t seek. </li><li>We can let the virtual pen be our microphone, and it feels awesome not to be interrupted.</li><li>Writing is to an introvert what a busy room is to an extrovert.</li></ul>

Writing is a happy place for many introverts

Understanding the way introverts think, behave and how they process information and ideate.

remotework

Remote Work

mindfulness

Mindfulness

writing

Reading & Writing

creativity

Creativity

meditation

Meditation

Why Introverts Make Good Writers

A learned behavior in individuals who believe they have no control over their life because they think nothing they do will matter. They tend to think bad things are always bound to happen to them, and others are usually to blame.

What Is Victim Mentality?

An actual victim’s reality is based on real actions that have happened to them, whereas a victim mentality is based on a perceived reality that something is going to happen to them based on their past experiences (either real or perceived).

Victim mentality vs. Actual victim

<ul><li>Negative self-talk or self-pity. “I never do anything right.”</li><li>Pessimism about the future. “It will never work out.”</li><li>Fears of being taken advantage of. </li><li>Envious of others. “If only I had money like he does.”</li><li>Ruminates on past bad experiences. </li><li>Struggles to enjoy the good</li><li>Disinterested in solutions. “There’s nothing that can be done.”</li><li>Rejects feedback or support. “I can’t do that. It will never work.”</li><li>Lacks trust in others. </li><li>Cynical toward others’ motives. “People are always out to get me”</li><li>Narcissistic. </li></ul>

Signs Of Victim Mentality 

<ul><li>Reflect on your wins: By remembering what success felt like and that it was possible, you can regain motivation for today</li><li>Engage in acts of Kindness: Regaining a sense of agency is helpful. One of the best ways to do this is by focusing outward on what you can do for others.</li><li>Set simple goals for yourself: Think about something you can achieve today. Then move on to something you can accomplish this week, and so on.</li><li>Take a deep breath before you respond: When presented with a challenge, your flight or fight response might kick in, leading you to respond from a place of fear. </li></ul>

Ways to Break the Cycle

Notice the discomfort you feel in your body when someone shares something with you or asks something of you. Are you tense? Is your stomach tight? Is your blood pressure high? Do you feel yourself getting warm? These body reactions might indicate your deeper fears or thoughts about what is happening. Take two or three deep breaths before you respond with the first thing that might come to your head. Research shows deep breathing exercises can reduce stress and stabilize blood pressure.

<ul><li>Reframe negative thoughts: By giving yourself a positive visualization, you can start to train your brain toward positive outcomes.</li></ul>

I collect and share ideas on self-discovery, inner strength and managing thoughts. For deeper insights, <a href="https://medium.com/@parakharora">read my articles on Medium</a>

Hey, This Is Parakh

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

humanresources

Human Resources

Victim Mentality: Signs, Causes & 10 Ways to Break The Cycle

Have you ever stopped to think about how many times a day you make judgments about people, situations, or events? It's a common habit that we all engage in. For instance, when we meet someone, we tend to judge how they look and make assumptions about their lifestyle.

Being judgmental means looking at things through a lens of criticism

Judgment is a cognitive ability that helps us assess people, situations, and relationships based on the sensory evidence available to us to come to conclusions and make decisions.It’s important for us to wield it carefully and not be overly critical of others.

What Judgement Really Is

<ul><li>Wider horizons: Looking at circumstances without judgment allows you to consider additional perspectives outside of your own awareness and gain helpful insights into what other people experience. It can also help you increase empathy and compassion for people who may be different from you.</li><li>More positivity: Judgment comes from a place of negativity. Being less judgmental allows you to view the world with a more positive outlook.</li><li>Improved relationships: Feeling judged alienates others and makes it hard for them to trust you. </li></ul>

Benefits of Being Less Judgmental 

Pay Attention to Your Thoughts The first step is to recognize that you’re doing it. Start paying more attention to your thoughts, so you can identify when you’re being judgmental. Look for thoughts or phrases like: <ul><li>“What is [person] doing/saying/wearing?"</li><li>"[Person] should be doing [action] instead of [action].”</li><li>“This [person/thing] is so [negative adjective].”</li></ul>

6 Ways to Be Less Judgmental 

Question Your Assumptions If you have a negative view of someone, ask yourself what it’s based on. Did you formulate your view based on facts? Do you have all the relevant information or do you need to inquire further about the situation? Make an effort to explore all the possible sources of information before coming to a conclusion. If this isn’t possible, consider leaving your opinion neutral or open-ended.

Recognize Your Biases Be aware of your own biases and cultural standards. Recognize that your own view of life is limited based on your own experiences.Remember that other people with different cultural, social, professional, religious, or ethnic backgrounds may not share the same views. Try to put yourself in their shoes and see things from their perspective.

Be Empathetic Practice empathy and compassion for people, even if they look, think, dress, speak, or act differently than you do.Think about how you have felt when someone formed an opinion of you that wasn’t accurate. Did you feel hurt, angry, upset, ashamed, embarrassed, or disappointed? Let those feelings guide you toward being more compassionate toward others.

Expand Your Horizons Expose yourself to new ideas and perspectives. Meet new people and talk to them about their lives. Experiment with different activities and try new foods. Read lots of books and watch informative content. Travel as much as you are able to.

Practice PositivityWith practice, you can develop a more positive mindset. If you catch yourself thinking something negative about something or someone, challenge yourself to see something positive in the situation instead.You can also take a few minutes every night to list the good things that happened that day and be thankful for all the things you’re grateful for.You can choose to do this exercise by yourself in your mind. Or you can note it down in a journal or practice it with a loved one.

Did this resonate with you? I just wrote an article on how we get automatic negative thoughts that hinder our judgement, <a href="https://medium.com/@parakhkatyal/negativity-hinders-judgment-5873fd87051e">here’s a link. </a>

This article explores the characteristics of judgmental people, discusses the benefits of being more open-minded, and suggests some ways to be less judgemental.

habits

Habits

How to Be Less Judgmental

It’s normal to have an occasional sluggish day, but if you’re staggering through life longing for a nap or looking for a bottomless coffee pot, it’s time to evaluate your habits and change those that are making you more tired during the day.You don't need to accept exhaustion as normal, especially if you have a clean bill of health. You can make changes that will increase your energy level and help you to stop feeling tired all of the time. Some things you can try include:

Sleeping too little, or less than seven hours per night, is the most common cause of exhaustion. In addition to leaving you feeling tired, lack of sleep has also been linked to an increased risk for serious accidents as well as the following health issues:<ul><li>Decreased immunity</li><li>Depression </li><li>Diabetes</li><li>Heart problems</li><li>Impaired thinking, memory, and mood</li><li>Weight gain</li></ul>

1. Prioritize Your Sleep

If your usual breakfast is a muffin, doughnut, bowl of sugary cereal, or even worse, nothing at all, you’re likely to feel the effects just a few hours into your day. Filling your body with a heavy dose of carbs leads to a spike in blood sugar, followed by a crash that can make you feel desperate for a nap.If you have time, scramble eggs for breakfast. If not, spread peanut butter on a piece of whole-wheat toast, enjoy a bowl of yogurt with fruit, or grab a protein-enriched bar or smoothie. Instead of an afternoon candy bar, have apple slices with a small piece of cheese.

Caffeine, in the form of coffee, tea, soda, energy drinks, or even chocolate, can affect your sleep by keeping you awake longer, shortening your restorative stages of sleep, and zapping your alertness the next day.The FDA recommends no more than 400 milligrams (about 4-5 cups of coffee) per day. Try to avoid caffeine within six hours of bedtime.Alcohol disrupts the duration of your sleep as well as your ability to fall and stay asleep. Researchers found that consuming alcohol six hours before bedtime can increase wakefulness during the second half of sleep.

3. Limit Caffeine and Alcohol

Daily fatigue can be your body’s way of crying out for more activity. Exercise raises your metabolism, stimulates your mood, and helps you sleep better at night.The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends at least 150 minutes of exercise every week, which equates to roughly 30 minutes per day, five times a week.A study of sleep-deprived adults found that walking up and down the stairs for 10 minutes increases energy levels more than taking 50 milligrams of caffeine, which is roughly 4 ounces of coffee.

4. Make an Effort to Move More

Dehydration can lead to increased sleepiness, fatigue, and irritability. Try one of these ideas to up your daily water intake:<ul><li>Wake up and drink a glass of water before brewing your coffee or tea.</li><li>Always keep a refillable water bottle handy, including at your desk and in your car.</li><li>Drink a full glass of water before each meal.</li><li>Alternate other beverages (like tea or coffee) with one glass of water.</li></ul>

5. Drink More Water

Fun and laughter are great energizers, so do your best to shake up your routine and indulge in a favorite activity each day, even if only for a short time.

6. Find Time for Fun

Stress, negativity, and depression are huge energy-suckers. consider one of the following.<ul><li>Volunteer: Helping others is a great way to improve your mood and energy and lower stress levels.</li><li>Be grateful: Take a minute or two before bed each night to write down something good that happened that day.</li><li>Forgive: Hanging onto anger, grudges, self-pity, or resentment saps your energy and spirits. Releasing negative thoughts leaves your mind free to focus on more stimulating topics.</li></ul>

7. Manage Negative Emotions

<ul><li>Meditate: Even spending several minutes of counting your breaths while sitting quietly can help calm your mind and leave you feeling more aware and alert.</li><li>Practice your faith: some communion with a higher power is a great way to relieve your worries, appreciate what you have, and release the tensions and thoughts that lead to fatigue</li></ul>

Continued..

Research suggests that natural light can improve sleep by increasing both the quantity and quality of your rest.Another study found that being outside in nature can boost relaxation and help you feel refreshed.So strive to spend a little time outdoors each day, whether going for a brisk walk around the block or enjoying another outdoor activity.

8. Spend Time Outdoors

Playing some of your favorite upbeat songs might give you a little extra boost of alertness. One study found that upbeat music led to faster, more powerful performances among cyclists. Faster-paced music helps the brain move the body more rapidly. Not only that, but high-energy songs can also help you feel more inspired and motivated and can help combat fatigue.

9. Listen To Upbeat Music

If it seems there just isn’t enough caffeine in the world to get you through your day, it’s time to set down the coffee cup and start making healthy changes to build up your energy and conquer your busy life.Feeling tired all the time can also be a sign of a medical or mental health issue, so if your sleepiness becomes excessive and difficult to manage, talk with your healthcare professional to discover what's causing you to feel tired during the day.

I collect and share ideas on self-discovery, inner strength and managing thoughts!For deeper insights, <a href="https://medium.com/@parakharora">here’s a link to my articles on Medium.</a>

Hey! This is Parakh 

I found a way to fix my tiredness from last month.

If you can barely keep your eyes open and feel tired during the day, it’s time to evaluate your habits and change those that are draining your energy.

food

Food

health

Health

10 Tips on How to Feel Less Tired and More Alert During the Day

Jim Loehr is a performance psychologist and author. Tony Schwartz is an American journalist and business book author. In The Power of Full Engagement, Schwartz and Loehr make the argument that people need to match their energy to a task in order to excel. To them, managing time isn’t nearly as important as managing how you invest your energy: “Every one of our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors has an energy consequence. The ultimate measure of our lives is not how much time we spend on the planet, but rather how much energy we invest in the time that we have.” In the book, they discuss four key management principles that <a href="https://www.betterup.com/blog/how-to-improve-performance-through-wellness?hsLang=en">help people drive performance </a>. This is what they say:

1. For full engagement, we need to draw on physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual energy.2. Since energy capacity diminishes with both overuse and underuse, we should balance energy expenditure with renewal.3. We must push beyond our limits in the same way elite athletes do in order to build capacity.4. Specific routines for managing energy called ‘positive energy rituals’ are important for engagement and performance.

4 key management principles that help people drive performance

The traditional way to manage your time is to divide tasks that you need to complete and assign a specific amount of time to get the work done. For example, you give yourself the goal of completing three reports in two hours.While time is a finite resource, energy works differently. Energy is a renewable resource, but only up to a certain point. Scheduling every minute of free time to increase productivity may seem like a good use of time, but it doesn’t account for the need to replenish energy.

Time vs. energy: are you prioritizing the correct resource?

Some tasks also require more energy than others. High-energy tasks and multitasking can’t be done productively when your energy is already eaten up by a surplus of things scheduled in your day.Over time, a lack of energy can cause a dip in productivity, even when there’s more than enough time to get the required tasks done.

1. Start by setting your boundariesNo one knows your energy limits better than you. By setting boundaries for yourself, you simultaneously protect your energy levels and motivate yourself to achieve your goals.Setting these boundaries for yourself can help you stay accountable for your goals while helping to prevent burnout. You have some room to adapt depending on how much energy you have in a day.And you can still stay on track, even on days when energy may be low. There’s always the next day to get more done.Keep in mind that you may need to adjust those boundaries over time.

How to start managing your energy and not your time

2. Include rest and recovery in your plansWhen managing your energy, it’s important to think about downtime and recovery. These shouldn’t be an afterthought. Instead, they should be planned out so that they’re part of your schedule.Your energy levels are what matter the most. There’s a reason why leaders like Buffet and Gates schedule downtime in their days.When you give yourself time to rest, you’ll replenish your energy levels and become more productive when you’re back at work. You’ll also improve your well-being and experience more positive emotions if you’re rested.

3. Schedule time for deep and inner workDeep work is an uninterrupted period when you can fully focus on high-impact work.Deep work requires a lot of energy, but you can be much more productive when you’re fully focused on what you’re doing. Make sure to schedule your deep work at a time when your energy is highest.The length of time you’ll need for deep work should depend on your energy. Remember that you need to manage your energy to have some left over for the rest of your day. Longer hours won’t always mean better deep work.

4. Keep a journal of your energy levelsEveryone has 24 hours in a single day. But energy levels will vary from person to person and from day to day. This is true for emotional energy, physical energy, and mental energy.To help you better manage your energy and get more done, keep a journal of what energizes you and drains you. You can track these elements in your work life and personal life. This can include:<ul><li>How much sleep you get</li><li>Your diet</li><li>The frequency of your breaks</li><li>Who you spend your time with</li><li>Physical activity (or lack thereof)</li><li>Types of tasks you perform</li></ul>

5. Learn to delegateOnce you know what energizes you and what drains you, you can better plan your day to make the most of your energy.One of the things you can do to improve your energy management is to delegate when you can. This is also good to develop your leadership skills. You won’t always be in a position to delegate. There are some tasks that you’ll be required to do at work, no matter what, especially if you have an entry-level position.

There always seems to be more to do than time permits. Even when you know how to manage your time, it can often feel like it isn’t enough.

Learn why it’s important to manage your energy, not your time, and how you can start practicing this skill to become more efficient and productive at work.

productivity

Productivity

problemsolving

Problem Solving

timemanagement

Time Management

Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time: How to Work Smarter and Faster

In life, whatever we do, our mind plays a significant role, right? It helps us to sleep; it helps us to work, eat, or even to get angry with others or ourselves.But if the mind is the guiding north star of our lives, then why do we get impatient while standing in a queue at a mall when the mind was the one who in the first place helped us to get there.

To be patient, you don’t need any control over your mind.

The birth of impatience happened when humans first invented the wheel. Our thirst to reach somewhere faster led us to invent furthermore transportation mediums that disturbed the cycle or environment of patience, such as ships, planes, trains, and more.With our every new invention, we kept denting the structure of patience in us. However, until the 1960s, patience still had the power upon people. But then, we did the most significant invention of all the time, the Internet. And it shook the foundation of patience. We stepped into the digital world, and everything changed for patience.We did inv<warningtag>entions from factory helping tools to AI-based solutions for our real problems. Now, all we see is faster — no place for patience.</warningtag>

The First Wheel

<ul><li>Order food, and it will arrive in 15 minutes, or you’ll get your money back guaranteed. </li><li>If you want a cab, just open an app on the mobile phone, and your taxi would be outside in a minute. </li><li>No need to stand in a queue at a mall ’cause Amazon.com got your back. </li><li>Haven’t paid your bills and can’t stand outside the billing counter, because you’ve to pee and don’t want to give your spot to another person, then don’t worry, there’s an online portal for that, too.</li></ul>Ah! It seems like there’s no need to be patient.

The Effects

We feel impatient when something doesn’t go according to our habits. And this might lead us to feel more severe human emotions, like anger, disgust and annoyance. However, this impatience caused by our habit only comes when we’re taking/expecting something from other than ourselves. For instance, if you have the habit of having lunch at 01:30 PM every day, and somehow on occasion, you don’t get it at the right time, then you start to feel impatient.

Our Habit

There are situations when having less amount of time can cause impatience in us. Likewise, having plenty of time can also lead us to feel impatient. Amount of time (high/low) + Priority = Impatience

Time, When Things Are Important 

It’s a shared human experience, and everybody feels it. And the only reason why it happens is when we compare ourselves to others. We see and measure our and other people’s position. Furthermore, the feeling of impatience caused by this reason, most of the time, leads us to either something better or worse. It all depends on our thinking and how we are treating and interpreting another person’s success. Is it making a good impact on us or a bad one?

When we see people succeed or getting better than ourselves

The feeling of impatience arrives in us when multiple tasks need to be done. Why? Because by looking at the various tasks, we develop a target or goal, where completing all of these would provide us relief or freedom to do something else.And this feeling of ours to get free from the burden motivates our mind to complete all of those tasks in less time as much as possible.Thus, we adopt the do things faster, the nature of modern humans, and start to get impatient.

Burden

In most conversations, our mind gets out of control because we don’t want to lose — our winning factor.If someone has commented on us, we can’t simply ignore it; at present, our mind and its thoughts are influenced by the mind who likes to win. Therefore, we throw back words without even thinking. The same happens to the other person, and he/she does the same thing as we did. No matter what the situation is, we always like to win. But, the winning factor of ours is pretty nasty when our Attitude gets mixed up with it. With our attitude, we start to see people inferior and ourselves superior.

 Our attitude & winning factor

This happens when we try to avoid things we do regularly. For instance, you want to stop smoking. Now, what will happen, you’d try to avoid it in a day multiple times. But if your resisting power is low, then it would only take you minutes or a couple of hours to get yourself back on the mouthful of smoke. Hence, triggering impatience in your brain. And this applies to everything you’re trying to avoid.

Lack of Resisting Power

If you do something and it would not show any results, then would you believe it? Would you keep doing it regardless of results?Perhaps you are doing something that doesn’t show results, and you don’t want to tell yourself that you don’t believe it.If the answer was no, then you’d have no patience. Why? Because belief is the thing that keeps patience in ourselves. Belief is the thing that tells us to keep walking and don’t quit. No Results = No Belief = No Patience.

Lack of Result

Less expensive smartphones, cheap data plans, faster speed, and lots of lots of garbage content. Every 3 guys in 5 people is a Vlogger. And of course, the Infinite Scroll.We are consuming things that only have 2 to 3 minutes of content. And on Instagram, it only takes 2 to 3s. The Infinite Scroll, causing us to scroll the page in every 1s. We are becoming less focused and addicted to much of much content every minute. This whole short content viewership is taking away our focus and cutting time in our attention span. Meaning, we are getting impatient to see new things every time.

Viewing & interacting with short length content

Everything comes down to a single point. We don’t accept reality, and then further, it makes us feel impatience.You’re getting late, and you can’t accept it, you feel impatience.There’s so much traffic, vehicles honking, radio’s playing the song you hate, and there’s no chance for you to escape. You can’t accept it. Thus, you get impatient.Non-accepting reality gives rise to less patience in our mind and everything around us.

Non acceptance of reality

Turns out there are way too many reasons I could be impatient. Feeling relieved!

In this post, Nathawat Brothers have shared some of the reasons that would give you better ideas about the causes of impatience.

10 causes of impatience people should know | Nathawat Brothers

We’ve been taught to value other people’s opinions more highly than our own. So we develop the habit of worrying more about how others see us than how we see ourselves. This results in a culture where people try to please others to be liked but are ultimately unfulfilled since they do not like themselves.

Not all opinions are important, we can’t make everyone happy

We have to understand that everyone’s perspective of us, and society is unique and subjective. So, while they may be correct about something due to the narrative in their head, it may be completely incorrect for us.
Someone may be having a bad day at work or a bad week at home; these are beyond our control and, most likely, not known to us. While these factors may influence how they react to us, they have nothing to do with us. But, we take everything personally. When a friend snaps at us, we question ourselves. “Did I do anything wrong?” “Did I bother him/her at an inappropriate time?”

We can’t make everyone happy. It’s a straight-up fact!

“The pressure that women feel to be people-pleasers is very real. … Young girls are told to be quiet and pleasant, to be orientated toward others, to not speak up for what they want, and to please others. These gender-based stereotypes are continuously reinforced in our society in a manner that distinctly disadvantages women

We stretch ourselves too far in order to please people and ‘adjust’ in society, we miss the thin boundary we had. We’re left wondering, “How much did I alter for society?” “What kind of progress did I create for myself?” “Am I still the same person?”

For People Pleasers

Our desire to be liked can keep us from doing things that are important to us because we will be preoccupied with weighing what others think and what they may say.We won’t be able to try new things because we’ll worry about what people will think if we’re not good at them. All of this will only increase the pressure and worry related to living up to expectations.Eventually, it will prevent us from discovering our true selves.

Consequences

Our basic social and emotional requirements include that desire. So what do we do?
<ul>
<li>Embrace disagreement — It’s normal for people to disagree, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a good thing because we all have unique life experiences that shape our perspectives.</li>
<li>Realize that other people’s opinions are not our concern. They reflect a person’s mindset. So, if we have a positive friend, they are likely to have positive thoughts and perspectives of the world. Similarly, angry people have more negative opinions and perceptions. And we cannot control what they think.</li>
</ul>

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be liked by people.

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

Can’t make everyone happy

Positive sources of stress can be a major career moment like a promotion or receiving funding for a project you’re thrilled about.Getting engaged and planning your dream wedding can be immensely stressful, no matter how good you feel about your upcoming nuptials. Buying a house, a huge indicator of success in our society, can bring up a lot of stress as well. It isn’t uncommon for some to downplay their stress when it is tied to something positive.

Good Stress

Speaking to others who relate to the stress success can bring is one way to begin processing your feelings. Exploring ways to soothe stress on a daily basis, like a consistent meditation practice, can contribute to your overall mental health.

What Can You Do About It?

A study conducted in 2020 states 11.4% of the United States population is living in poverty. Additionally, the stress of the pandemic has led to mass layoffs and some deciding their position is no longer a good fit for them. It is no secret that financial instability is a major source of stress.

Financial Problems

Assess things you may be able to control, whether that is negotiating payment deferments or applying for state-funded forms of assistance.You can also try reaching out to a social worker or a non-profit that can help connect you to resources in your community.Finally, reach out to your community. It can feel taboo to talk about money woes with others, but the reality is many of us have been financially stretched to our limit. There’s power in communal support.

Falling in love and ending a relationship can breed emotional turmoil. While falling in love is often associated with moments of bliss, it can also bring up unwanted emotions.For instance, for folks who have experienced negative romantic experiences in the past, it can be scary to open up to someone new. Ending a relationship can be deeply painful. Divorce, even when it is something that you want and know will contribute to your overall well-being, is also a highly stressful event.

Relationship Issues

Couples therapy is incredibly helpful, even if the goal is an amicable dissolution of a relationship. If you find that you’re struggling with communication issues, exploring how you can shift your communication style can decrease the severity of painful emotions. Looking into the nonviolent communication method is a great place to start.

Burnout is most commonly understood as extreme fatigue and a complete lack of enthusiasm for one’s job.This can result in feelings of irritability, sadness, and even fear. Since the start of the pandemic and the rise of working from home, burnout has become more prevalent than ever.

Burnout

Scheduling days off regularly, ensuring you’re doing things that bring you joy, and setting boundaries with your job responsibilities are all ways to combat burnout symptoms. In addition, try identifying the biggest stressors in your life. While it's important to relieve symptoms, you want to make sure you're addressing and healing the root cause of your discomfort as best you can.

Whether is childhood trauma, a strained relationship with family members, or high expectations from your parents, it is completely normal for your family life to be a source of complicated emotions.Beginning to understand your triggers is a great place to start. Do you get nervous around the holidays? Is your birthday always a hard day?

Family

Begin planning ahead for the times you know you may be especially emotionally activated. If you’ve experienced childhood trauma, somatic therapy can be especially helpful.

We don’t have to know the cause of every emotion we experience. As humans, we are simply emotional beings and it is a gift to be able to feel into the complexity of life. If your feelings are becoming too overwhelming, it may be time to seek additional help.

A Word From VeryWell

I write about the hows and whys of managing thoughts, gaining inner strength, and finding yourself! <a href="https://medium.com/@parakhkatyal">Read an article.</a>Love reading? <a href="https://colossal-citrine-ff5.notion.site/My-Bookcase-ca561595683d48aa94df2ad7d8d92ec8">Discover the wisdom</a> I gained from books.

Have you ever wondered, "Why am I so emotional?" It's normal to feel this way and not understand why. Learn about six common reasons why you might feel emotional.

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Parakh Katyal