How to Be Less Judgmental

Judgment is a cognitive ability that helps us assess people, situations, and relationships based on the sensory evidence available to us to come to conclusions and make decisions.

It’s important for us to wield it carefully and not be overly critical of others.

• Wider horizons: Looking at circumstances without judgment allows you to consider additional perspectives outside of your own awareness and gain helpful insights into what other people experience. It can also help you increase empathy and compassion for people who may be different from you.
• More positivity: Judgment comes from a place of negativity. Being less judgmental allows you to view the world with a more positive outlook.
• Improved relationships: Feeling judged alienates others and makes it hard for them to trust you.

Pay Attention to Your Thoughts 

The first step is to recognize that you’re doing it. Start paying more attention to your thoughts, so you can identify when you’re being judgmental. 

Look for thoughts or phrases like: 

• “What is [person] doing/saying/wearing?"
• "[Person] should be doing [action] instead of [action].”
• “This [person/thing] is so [negative adjective].”

Question Your Assumptions 

If you have a negative view of someone, ask yourself what it’s based on.

Did you formulate your view based on facts? Do you have all the relevant information or do you need to inquire further about the situation? 

Make an effort to explore all the possible sources of information before coming to a conclusion.

If this isn’t possible, consider leaving your opinion neutral or open-ended. 

Recognize Your Biases 

Be aware of your own biases and cultural standards. Recognize that your own view of life is limited based on your own experiences.

Remember that other people with different cultural, social, professional, religious, or ethnic backgrounds may not share the same views.

Try to put yourself in their shoes and see things from their perspective.

Be Empathetic 

Practice empathy and compassion for people, even if they look, think, dress, speak, or act differently than you do.

Think about how you have felt when someone formed an opinion of you that wasn’t accurate.

Did you feel hurt, angry, upset, ashamed, embarrassed, or disappointed? Let those feelings guide you toward being more compassionate toward others.

Expand Your Horizons 

Expose yourself to new ideas and perspectives. Meet new people and talk to them about their lives.

Experiment with different activities and try new foods. Read lots of books and watch informative content. Travel as much as you are able to.

Practice Positivity

With practice, you can develop a more positive mindset. If you catch yourself thinking something negative about something or someone, challenge yourself to see something positive in the situation instead.

You can also take a few minutes every night to list the good things that happened that day and be thankful for all the things you’re grateful for.

You can choose to do this exercise by yourself in your mind. Or you can note it down in a journal or practice it with a loved one.

Did this resonate with you? I just wrote an article on how we get automatic negative thoughts that hinder our judgement, here’s a link.