Is 'Productivity Dysmorphia' Stopping You From Enjoying Your Successes?

Without context, success is a meaningless word. Does it mean a particular bank balance or fancy title? The admiration of others? A level of impact on the world? A state of mind? The ability to sleep comfortably at night knowing you've lived up to your own values? There is no way to independently answer these questions. The advice "how to be successful" is pretty useless (or worse, guilty of implicitly reinforcing the unexamined and often harmful assumption that success means being rich and powerful). It also means that there's no one who can tell you you're successful (or not) but you.

Whenever I am asked about my work, I dodge the question. Earlier this year I published my first book and whenever someone says how proud I must be, a bubble of shame grows inside because, well, I'm just not. In an attempt to rid myself of that feeling, I do more, work harder. I endeavor to be more productive.  The only thing more overwhelming is that I feel like I've done nothig at all. Thinking of this unhealthy relationship I have with my professional achievements as "productivity dysmorphia.