A Dorothy Parker Quip for Every Occasion - Deepstash
How To Start Over: Reboot Your Life

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Dorothy Parker's Quips are Like Candy

Dorothy Parker's Quips are Like Candy

Parker’s columns are like candy: read one—even a review of a book you’ve never heard of, it doesn’t matter—and you’ll be compelled to read the next. Unlike candy, however, these are not bad for you. Neither is anything else she wrote. As for her martini-fueled insults, well, the jury’s out. Either way, I am writing to encourage you to memorize some of her excellent quippage to use at your earliest convenience. 

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48 reads

For buying lottery tickets:

“I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.” (The Paris Review )  

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45 reads

For Friday nights:

“It’s not the tragedies that kill us, it’s the messes. I can’t stand messes.” (The Paris Review )  

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33 reads

For standing in the corner at parties:

“Their pooled emotions wouldn’t fill a teaspoon.” (quoted in Not Much Fun: The Lost Poems of Dorothy Parker )  

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37 reads

For missing your deadline, answering emails, calling people back, etc.:

“Too fucking busy and vice versa.” (quoted in The Unimportance of Being Oscar by Oscar Levant)  

4

55 reads

For being asked for writing advice:

“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style . The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.” (originally published in a review in Esquire , 1959)  

3

37 reads

For riding the subway in New York City:

“Not just plain terrible. This was fancy terrible; this was terrible with raisins in it.” (quoted in Chimes of Change and Hours by Audrey Borenstein)
  

2

38 reads

For chiding that one friend who makes too many dumb jokes:

“There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.” (The Paris Review )  

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36 reads

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danaprowe

I'm a musical theatre composer, and I'm also a certified coach. My musical theatre works have been produced and performed around the world. As a coach, I help creative artists achieve greater career success.

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