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Feel like you don't fit in? Here's how to find where you truly belong

https://ideas.ted.com/feel-like-you-dont-fit-in-heres-how-to-find-where-you-truly-belong/

ideas.ted.com

Feel like you don't fit in? Here's how to find where you truly belong
In 1990, when students at the University of Pennsylvania were asked if they would consider a career in Philadelphia - where the school is located - only 35 percent of them said yes. By 2010, that number was 60 percent. Some of that increase might be due to Alex Hillman.

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Nilofer Merchant

"To find your people, you have to know how to signal your passions and interests and seek out theirs."

Nilofer Merchant

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Communities based on practice

This type of group is united by a common activity but it's not limited to a professional one.

It also works for hobbies and interests. 

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Communities based on proximity

This is a group based on being of or in a certain place.

To build such communities, use dedicated websites or use geolocation on your social media to find information about upcoming events, news and people close to you that you might find interesting.

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Communities based on passion

This is a group driven by a shared interest in a particular subject (for example, anti-animal abuse).

It is slightly different from a community based on a common activity.

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Communities based on providence

Provident communities are the product of seemingly random connections (like meeting friends in high school who introduce you to your future funders on Kickstarter).

However, this process is not as random as it appears. 

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Communities based on purpose

Purposeful communities are those that share a vision of the world. They don’t always have user groups and are often not geography dependent. 

Finding people with a common purpose means finding those who share a concrete commitment to a specific cause, and this involves a more sophisticated method of signaling and seeking.

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Impostor syndrome

The impostor syndrome is the sense that our accomplishments are in some way underserved, no matter how consistent the evidence is to the contrary.

Impostor syndrome is an epidemic

There are several reasons why the impostor syndrome seems to have become an epidemic.

  • We have given the phenomenon a name.
  • Our preoccupation with it is the result of profound social change. Many people work in the service economy, where we create impressions rather than tangible items. 
  • Professional life today leaves us straining to redefine ourselves; we sometimes promise things we don't yet know how to do. 
  • We are no longer born into a role.
  • We can constantly compare our experiences to those of others online.
  • We can create an outward persona we know to be untrue.

The paradox of being an impostor

In order for you to believe in yourself, you need to convince someone else to believe in you. Once they believe in you, you feel more confident to believe in yourself.

When you're an impostor, you expect to be exposed at any time. You feel that at some point, someone might appear and see you for the fraud you think you are.

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Gestures and Speech

  • Gestures are closely linked to speech.
  • People seem to gesture naturally and even blind people who haven't seen anyone gesturing, are able to do so.
  • Our words and gestures close...

Gestures Aid Thinking

  • Just as speech puts our thoughts into words. pir gestures put our thoughts into our hands.
  • Gestures aid our thinking and many problem solving tasks are done in a better way through the help of gestures.

The phenomenon of "waithood"

Across the globe, women are increasingly experiencing waithood, a term that refers to delaying decisions, like finishing an education and embarking on a career before getting married. 

T...

The problem is mostly economic

Young men across large parts of the world are holding back from relationships and starting families because of unemployment and low wages. This is especially true in places where high dowry payments are expected.

Even places like Greece, Spain, and France are experiencing age-related fertility problems because young people can't afford the trappings of adulthood.

A growing trend

The situation of singledom is increasing in women globally. 

  • In a range of places, women are becoming the majority of students at university over men, and desire to engage in their career with zeal, which delays marriage.
  • One multi-country study from sub-Saharan Africa found that even when women themselves hadn't received a more formal education, they were likely to delay marriage if it was the norm around them.