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3 Reasonable Responses to Steady Us When Life Feels Unstable

https://www.marcandangel.com/2020/04/30/3-reasonable-responses-to-steady-us-when-life-feels-unstable/

marcandangel.com

3 Reasonable Responses to Steady Us When Life Feels Unstable
Irrationality loses power in the face of reason. Fear wanes in the presence of calm. Conflict eases in the light of compassion. May we come to know this. May we come to live this.

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Learn to be rational in unstable moments

When feeling stressed and as having lost control of the things, try taking a moment of break. Then, think reasonably about the cause of your behaviour and calm down as much as possible. Furthermore, be compassionate towards yourself: for every single issue there is a solution.

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Be compassionate

When the ones around you lose their patience and start taking it out on you regarding things only they are responsible for, show compassion. Being compassionate towards other always goes a long way. And it almost always pays off, as when the storm has passed, people remember who helped them patiently.

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The three reasonable responses

Whenever you meet someone else in distress, make them go through the below filter in order to get to the root of the issue:

  • How can I help?
  • I am sorry things did not work out as expected
  • Please take your time to think about all this and let me know if you need me
    It might not make any difference to you, but it will mean a lot for them in these moments.

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Appreciation Rather Than Judgment

Instead of focusing on what you don't like and trying to change your partner with judgment, appreciate what is wonderful about him/her. This doesn't mean avoiding problems, as it is vit...

Don't Shy Away From Conflict

Much can be learned from how you each deal with conflict, and avoiding it keeps you from that knowledge. 

An inability to resolve conflict is a major reason why in-love feelings fade away.

Ask In-Depth Questions

Ask the important questions -- about values, money, children, religion/spirituality, past relationships.

If you are afraid to be forthright in your questions, then the fear itself is letting you know that your fear of rejection may be in charge -- which means you have more inner work to do.

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The new buzzword

The "pursuit of joy" seems to be the new buzzword to counter the fear of missing out phenomenon.

What brings you joy? Joy is pared with cleaning up our cluttered lives: from household clu...

Life clutter builds up

We are constantly invited to do something, think something, experience something or buy something.

For every social event or task we say yes to, we run the risk of overfilling our lives. It may leave us feeling overstretched, overtired and overwhelmed.

Inability to say "no"

There is often an underlying fear that prevents us from saying no. Perhaps we fear that we are not good enough. We find the compulsive "yes" might help us feel better. However, we cannot continue living at this pace.

We need to ask ourselves why we continue to do the very things that make us unhappy. Self-restraint and missing out are vital for our well-being.

Early European chess players changed the game

Early European chess players changed the game

Early European chess players turned the chess game to reflect their society's political structure.

  • Originally, chess was a game of war. Horsemen, elephant-riding...

Chess: The transformation of the queen

  • Initially, the chess queen could only move one square.
  • In the 15th century, the queen gained unlimited movement in any direction.
  • The queen's elevation to the strongest piece appeared first in Spain during the time when the powerful Queen Isabella was on the throne.

Chess is 'life in miniature'

The 13th-century Dominican friar Jacobus de Cessolis described the ways each chess piece contributes to a harmonious social order.

  • He distinguished paws by trade and connected each to its royal partner.
  • The first pawn is a farmer and tied to the castle because he provides food to the kingdom.
  • The second pawn is a blacksmith who makes armour for the knight.
  • The third is an attorney who helps the bishop with legal matters.

Jacobus's allegory becomes the central message of the mini-series "The Queen's Gambit." Beth becomes a figurative queen after she learns to work with other players. Just like the pawn, she converts in her final game.