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People who struggle with anxiety for long periods mistakenly belief unhelpful myths about what anxiety is and how it works.
If you want to feel less anxious, you should unlearn the counter-productive myths that you've heard about anxiety.
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Analyzing your past may be interesting, but it isn't helpful. This is because the initial cause of your anxiety is seldom the maintaining cause of your anxiety.
Until you address the maintaining causes, your anxiety will continue.
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Because something feels bad, it doesn't mean it is bad.
Muscles soreness after a workout feels bad but is really a good thing. Anxiety is the same. It feels bad but isn't dangerous. It is just a form of faulty or misguided fear. But, long-term anxiety can lead to chronic stress, which is associated with various adverse effects.
The key insight is that worrying about anxiety teaches your brain to think that anxiety is dangerous, making you even more anxious. Make it a point to stop worrying about your anxiety.
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Coping skills provide only short-term relief from anxiety. For example, doing mindfulness meditation to cope with your anxiety. Doing so teaches your brain that it's not okay to feel anxious and that anxiety is bad.
As stated, anxiety is not dangerous, but if you treat it like it is, you teach your brain to fear fear itself.
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The belief that anxiety is a sign of weakness can be very hard to shake. Even if people acknowledge intellectually that feeling anxious isn't a sign of weakness, they still feel that way experientially.
For example, let's say you gave a presentation at work and got really anxious because you mixed up some information. Then you spend the rest of the day ruminating about it. "I can't believe I got so flustered..."
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People may feel afraid they'll never change because that's just who they are. "I've always been an anxious person."
However, anxiety comes from learning and experience. The good news is what is learned can be unlearned.
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Worry and anxiety are very different. Understanding the difference can help to lower your anxiety in the long term.
Worry is a series of thoughts. "I'll never get that promotion..." "My chest feels funny... Maybe I'm having a heart attack."
Anxiety is an emotion. Feeling nervous before a big performance; feeling on edge in a room full of new people.
You can change your emotions indirectly by changing how you think. For example, it is possible to stop worrying and redirect your attention and thinking onto something else.
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Anxiety often stems from unhealthy relationships.
People get stuck in patterns of chronic worry because they're not good at managing their relationships. They don't know how to set healthy boundaries and be assertive enough.
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