Why community matters so much — and how to find yours

One of the easiest ways to find a group you’d mesh with is to figure out where you wouldn’t mind spending a few hours of your time.

Consider your talents and interests or a skill you’d like to learn and seek out places to do those activities.

Seek out groups that create together; the act of making something as a group facilitates closeness and brings you into contact with people of different ages, backgrounds, and stages of life. Whether it’s a performance or a neighborhood coat drive, anything you’re creating together is a beautiful way to build community.

To forge a true connection with the group — and vice versa — you’ll need to continually show up and add value. 

You’ll develop closeness more quickly if you have that regularity and you don’t have to agonize over scheduling. Immediately add the next meeting date to your calendar and make it a point to consistently attend. Coming early with a snack or staying late to stack the chairs shows you’re invested in the community.

Because communities are made up of lots of people with varying opinions and life experiences, being an active member means regularly interacting with others in the group.

But don’t expect other members to immediately support you in your endeavors, want to do you a favor, or even engage in conversation with you. Forging these connections takes time and effort, and you risk rejection, but to fully integrate into a community, you can’t be a wallflower. It’s your job to put energy into other people and not just wait for them to put energy into you.

• You don’t need to join a dozen clubs or societies or introduce yourself to every neighbor on the block to have a community.
• Consider the time you’re able to commit and how much energy you’re able to bring to each meeting.
• The goal of community building isn’t necessarily to make new friends (though that definitely can happen), but to build a network. The people who are a part of that network can remain acquaintances.