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Most people don’t give much thought to self-soothing
- Many emotionally neglectful families aren’t able to teach their children how to soothe themselves
- Self-soothing can get you through some of the most challenging days or moments of your life by helping you manage feelings of hurt, anger, sadness, or grief.
- It can make you more resilient as a person.
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Self-soothing is a learnable skill
Fortunately, self-soothing is not complex or difficult to learn. In fact, for most people, it’s mostly a process of self-discovery, trying different ideas, and observing the outcome. As you go through the process of learning self-soothing, an added benefit is getting to know yourself better on an emotional level.
Since every human being is unique, the things that will be soothing to you will be specific to you.
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Steps to learn self-soothing
- Make a list of possible activities that you think might be soothing for you. You will have this initial group of possible strategies ready to try when you need them.
- Watch for strong feelings of anger, hurt, sadness, or any other feeling that is too sharp or painful to manage. These are your chances to try out your list.
- Try different strategies at different times, since different strategies may work in different situations and with different feelings. Try one strategy and if it doesn’t work, try another.
- If one of your strategies isn't good, mark it off. Add new ones as they occur to you.
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Examples of self-soothing
- Self-talk: Talk to yourself in your own head about what you’re feeling or its cause
- Cry: Crying helps you maintain biological homeostasis and regulates your heart rate when you are upset
- Exercise: Cook something creative or healthy
- Play with a child
- Call a friend
- Sit quietly and look out the window
- Meditate.
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