inlightpsychology.com.au
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Learn more about loveandrelationships with this collection
How to find common interests
How to be a good listener
How to overcome social anxiety
Do you ever find yourself wanting to spend more and more time together, while the other seems to be pulling away?
Similar problems to the one outlined above are often caused by differences in where each person lies on two scales:
1) Avoidance - of intimacy, relationships, and emotional connection
2) Anxiety - relating to the security and stability of a relationship
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These people are high in their desire for emotional and physical closeness, and are low on their insecurity and anxiety about their relationship.
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These people are high in their desire for emotional and physical closeness, but also high in their insecurity and anxiety about their relationship.
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These people show a strong preference towards independence and low levels of anxiety and insecurity about the security and stability of relationships.
(Note, given the assumption that human beings are social creatures and do want and need relationships in their life, it has often been argued that people categorised as dismissive-avoidant may be using this style as a defence)
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These people have a high level of anxiety and insecurity in their relationship, as well as a high level of avoidance in a relationship.
(Note, their high level of avoidance is often due to a fear of getting hurt, rather than a lack of desire for relationships.)
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The first step in self-development is building an awareness and understanding of yourself and others.
Use this information with kindness. Show yourself and others more compassion and recognise that attachment behaviours come from early experiences that continue to have strong influences today.
You can use this information as a starting point in a conversation. Use it like a road map to navigate your interactions and relationships moving forward. Change can be achieved, but it often takes time and patience.
Psychological therapy can also help you on your path of self-development. Through therapy, you can:
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