4 Common Tactics of Psychological Manipulators

Psychological manipulators despise boundaries. Their ultimate goal is power and control, and firm boundaries interfere greatly with that goal. To that end, they become skilled at testing and violating others’ boundaries—usually starting with small limits and working their way up as they become more accomplished.

Manipulators ensure that this is a slow-burn process. By subtly testing what works and what does not, they will learn how to cross others’ boundaries without being stopped.

Psychological manipulators are masters at getting others to question their own reality. This often occurs in the form of telling blatant lies that border on unbelievable or countering a victim’s memory of events. When paired with the abuser’s refusal to accept responsibility for their actions, this technique can be destructive.

Gaslighting can be difficult to pinpoint because it’s a gradual process that undermines the sanity of its victims. Many individuals who use this tactic work very hard to convince their victims they are too sensitive or are making a big deal out of nothing.