Why Is Everyone Talking About 'Gaslighting'? Here's What It Means and How to Spot It

Gaslighting comes in three stages:

• Disbelief: You question how the other person can say such unbelievable things.
• Defence: You are always defending yourself, thinking about what you said and who is right or wrong.
• Depression: When you've been gaslighted over a long time, you feel more isolated and don't want to talk about your relationship or anything that might start gaslighting.

• You regularly second-guess yourself.
• You keep on asking if you're too sensitive.
• You often feel confused at work.
• You're always apologising.
• You can't understand why you're not happier.
• You make excuses for your partner's behaviour.
• You keep information from friends and family so that you don't have to explain your partner's behaviour.
• You know something is wrong, even if you can't express it.
• You have trouble making simple decisions.
• You feel you can't do anything right.
• You feel hopeless.

At first, try to get an outside opinion. If gaslighting becomes regular, you should seek professional help.

You can also address your partner's gaslighting with them if you're ready to demand change or walk away from the relationship. For example, you may say that you've noticed a destructive pattern that you're no longer willing to be a part of. Mention that you need to figure out a way together to break the unhealthy behaviour or seek professional help.