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How To Effectively Tell People What You Think
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9 Tips To Give Constructive Criticism
- Use the "feedback sandwich" method when advising. Give a positive comment, then the feedback that could potentially be construed as criticism, and finish by reiterating the positive. That way the criticism is "sandwiched" between two positives, making it seem less harsh.
- Focus on the situation, not the person. This helps preventing the other person from feeling attacked.
- Think about timing when you give feedback. When emotions are running high people tend to become less receptive to criticism.
- Use A "Straw Man" to illustrate your point. "Try to give the critique through a personal anecdote or an inspiring story of someone famous who went through the same thing.
- Offer specific suggestions. This keeps the discussion focused and gives the other person a concrete area of improvement.
- Keep your language positive and avoid negative statements. It helps to set the tone of the entire exchange.
- Stick to "I" statements. Using "I feel" statements over more accusatory "you" statements works.
- Be conscious of your tone. If you're coming off as stern, or angry, that may trigger someone’s defenses.
- Think about if it really needs to be said, or if it doesn't need to come from you. Sometimes it's better not to say it. Nothing can be more off-putting than unsolicited advice.
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Constructive Criticism
However needed it may be, people often view criticism as hurtful and feel attacked. And that puts them on the defensive, meaning they won’t be able to truly absorb what’s being criticized.
That’s why constructive criticism is a helpful skill to develop when dealing with other people. Knowing how to do it drastically affects how the message is received.
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3. Be Specific With Your Feedback
The more specific your feedback, the more actionable it is for the one receiving it. Example: Asking for an article on communication is vague while asking for one on public speaking is speci...
4. Comment On Actionable Things
To help people improve talk about things they can do something about, rather than those out of their control. Critiquing the former makes your criticism constructive; critiquing the latter makes the person feel bad as they can’t do anything about it, even if they want to.
Understand the person’s situation and his/her objectives, then provide your critique based on that. And if you need to talk about something out of their control, balance it out by talking about things they can control.
5. Give Improvement Recommendations
Give recommendations on what the person can do to improve so they have a clear idea of what you have in mind and get a strong call-to-action.
With your recommendations, (a) be specific with your suggestions and (b) briefly explain the rationale behind the recommendation. Also, try to limit examples to one per point to make your case more impactful.
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Negative vs. Positive Feedback
- Any negative feedback should be clear and timely yet not so harsh as to be pe...
For feedback to be effective...
- Be Specific;
- Be Immediate: you wait too long, it can have less impact and make it harder for the person to grasp exactly what needs changing;
- Tie Feedback to Goals: it gives the receiver a clear goal to work towards and reason why you’ve given them this feedback;
- Ensure Feedback Is Actionable;
- Use the Right Language;
- Don't avoid it: when feedback is given openly and honestly, it can be extremely valuable for your organization.
Plussing
Imagine an art director giving feedback to an animator on some sketches for Pixar’s next blockbuster movie and instead of saying something like “but the characters expression is all wrong,” they’ll frame it using more encouraging and creative words like and or what if: “what if we could make their expression more (enthusiastic, brazen, etc).”
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Stop Your First Reaction
At the first sign of criticism, before you do anything—stop. Try not to react at all.
Even a few seconds are enough for your brain to process a situation: you can halt a dismissi...
Remember the Benefits of Getting Feedback
Namely, to improve your skills, work product, and relationships, and to help you meet the expectations that your manager and others have of you.
Also, try to cut back any reaction you're having to the person who is delivering the feedback, even if it's hard to receive criticism from someone you don't fully respect.
Listen for Understanding
As the person shares feedback with you, listen closely. Allow the person to share their complete thoughts, without interruption. When they’re done, repeat back what you heard.
Avoid analyzing or questioning the person’s assessment; instead, just focus on understanding his or her comments and perspective.