<p><b>"Sandwiching" your critique between two positive things</b> about the person's softens the blow, and avoids it coming off like an attack. The mix of positive and negative makes people more likely to pay attention to the whole package.</p><p>Instead of being snarky and vague,<b> explain why you think your criticism is valid and be specific and constructive</b> about what you think would be an improvement. The former doesn’t inform much and makes people unhappy; the latter at least gives some ideas for improvement.</p>

Use The "Sandwich" Approach And Be Specific On The Expected Results

Communication

<p>Keep your criticism to your observations, and the impact they have. <b>Don't try to fix the problem, just identify it.</b></p><p>Offer to help fix the problem, and to support the solution that the other person comes up with. Unless you know how to do the work your coworker is doing, don't try to solve it for them—they'll ignore your feedback and you.</p>

Give Feedback, Not Instruction

<p>The point of your criticism is to help someone improve, or to correct a problem, and your feedbacks should carry that message. If you’re doing anything but that, reevaluate whether you actually have legitimate criticism to give, or you just need to talk to someone. </p><p><b>Offer positive and specific suggestions to alleviate the issue at hand, or identify the problem clearly without talking about the person, just the issue.</b></p>

Give Kind Criticism, And Remember The Point Of It

<p>Criticism by nature can be personal, but delivering it you need to <b>separate your thoughts on someone's work or behavior from what you think of them.</b></p><p>Keep your criticism focused on the specifics that you want to discuss, and avoid the temptation to make judgements of the person or their work based on the specific feedback you want to give. Remember, "you need to respond to urgent issues faster" is not the same as "you're slow." You want to communicate the former, not the latter.</p>

Don't Make It Personal

<div>
<p> Taking criticism <a href="http://lifehacker.com/how-can-i-learn-to-take-criticism-without-taking-it-per-5915488">is difficult enough</a>, but giving constructive criticism can be <em>really</em> tricky, especially when you don't want to completely tick off the person you're talking to. You may not have complete control over how someone else will perceive your words, but you can do a lot to communicate constructively. Here's how to offer constructive feedback without coming off like a jerk. </p>
<p><a href="http://lifehacker.com/how-can-i-learn-to-take-criticism-without-taking-it-per-5915488"><figure><img src="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--glC93Xxr--/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_77,pg_1,q_80,w_137/17p5xz6a7ppqcjpg.jpg"> </figure></a></p><div>
<p>Dear Lifehacker, I'm awful at taking criticism. Whether it comes from other people or I'm ...</p>
<a href="http://lifehacker.com/how-can-i-learn-to-take-criticism-without-taking-it-per-5915488">Read more Read </a> </div> 

<h3>Don't Make It Personal</h3>
<p>This goes without saying, but one of the most important things to do when you're delivering feedback is to make sure it's not personal. Sure, criticism by nature can be personal, but you need to make a point as the person delivering it to separate your thoughts on someone's work or behavior from their personality and what you think of them outside of it. The image here, an example from <a href="https://lifehacker.com/if-you-respond-only-to-ass-hats-your-life-will-soon-be-5915498">this post yesterday</a>, illustrates the point. Keep your criticism focused on the specifics that you want to discuss, and avoid the temptation to make judgements of the person or their work based on the specific feedback you want to give. Remember, "you need to respond to urgent issues faster" is not the same as "you're slow." You want to communicate the former, not the latter.</p>
<p><a href="https://lifehacker.com/if-you-respond-only-to-ass-hats-your-life-will-soon-be-5915498"><figure><img src="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--2rMLI8wm--/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_77,pg_1,q_80,w_137/18rswrgedu9rfjpg.jpg"> </figure></a></p><div>
<p>Nicole Sullivan's job is to make the internet run better, which means that much of her day is...</p>
<a href="https://lifehacker.com/if-you-respond-only-to-ass-hats-your-life-will-soon-be-5915498">Read more Read </a> </div> 

<h3>Give Kind Criticism, and Remember Why You're Offering Criticism At All</h3>
<p>Remember, the point of your criticism is to help someone improve, or to correct a problem that impacts them, you, and likely others. You're not venting, you're not working out your stress, and you're not boosting your own ego-if you are, stop now and reevaluate whether you actually have legitimate criticism to give, or you just need to talk to someone. If you genuinely want to help someone, or see behavior that needs to be corrected, make sure your feedback carries that message. <em>Photo by <a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic.mhtml?id=73554022">Adam Gregor</a>.</em></p>
<p><a href="http://zenhabits.net/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/">Zen Habits describes this</a> as "kind criticism," where you offer positive and specific suggestions to alleviate the issue at hand, or identify the problem clearly without talking about the person, just the issue. It can be challenging, but the best criticism is the most mindful, and the most targeted. From the other side of the table, it's also the easiest to work on, because you see the problem clearly and can come up with a way to fix it without feeling like you have to fix yourself as well.</p>
<h3>Use the "Sandwich" Approach</h3>
<p>You may already be familiar with the sandwich method (or the <a href="http://lifehacker.com/give-constructive-criticism-297247">hamburger method</a>) to delivering criticism. Put simply, you want to "sandwich" your critique between two positive things about the person's work to soften the blow, and to avoid coming off like you're just blasting your coworker or friend. Too much feedback without a reprieve will alienate the person you're talking to, so the goal of adding compliments to the mix is to give them a mixed bag of ups and downs so they're more likely to pay attention to the whole package.</p>
<p><a href="http://lifehacker.com/give-constructive-criticism-297247"><figure><img src="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--aX2WMbEf--/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_77,pg_1,q_80,w_137/18s0kje7llyu4png.png"> </figure></a></p><div>
<p>Effectively delivering constructive criticism can be simplified by remembering the "hamburger...</p>
<a href="http://lifehacker.com/give-constructive-criticism-297247">Read more Read </a> </div> 

<p>After all, no one likes sitting and hearing reasons they suck one after another after another-mix it up with some things the person does well, or reasons you like their work. Most importantly though: be sincere about those positives. We all have accurately tuned BS detectors, and we can sense when someone's scraping the bottom of the barrel for positive filler around the real criticism.</p>
<h3>Give Feedback, Not Instruction, Unless You Know How to Instruct</h3>
<p>It's one thing to tell a family member that you're concerned about their eating habits, or your colleague that them being late with their work to you every week makes you have to work weekends. It's another to tell the former how to eat better, or the latter how to work faster. You may have absolutely no idea what your family member's lifestyle is, or your colleague's workload is-put yourself in their shoes: if someone else came riding in and told you how to live your life do your job, you'd bristle too. <em>Photo by <a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic.mhtml?id=95706439">Adam Gregor</a>.</em></p>
<p>Keep your criticism to your observations, and how they impact you, your relationships, and your work. Don't try to fix the problem, just identify it. Offer to <em>help</em> fix the problem, and to support the solution that the person you're talking to comes up with. Unless you know how to do the work your coworker is doing, don't try to solve it for them-they'll just write off your feedback and ignore you.</p>
<h3>Be Specific About The Result You'd Like to See</h3>
<p>It's really easy to be snarky and vague-in fact, our culture encourages passive-agressive snark disguised as intelligent commentary. Unfortunately, it's rarely helpful, and almost never useful. Instead of saying "You should clean up your act," when talking to a slovenly friend, be specific and say "Wouldn't it be great if your apartment were more organized?" or "You'd look wonderful if you cleaned up a bit." Instead of throwing up your hands and saying "this sucks!" explain why you think that way, and be constructive about what you'd like to see, or what would help "this" suck less. No one's going to learn anything from the former, but even though you're unhappy, at least someone can think over and get some ideas for improvement from the latter.</p>
<p>Remember, communication takes two people, and it's easy to forget that when you write off other people's feelings as "the way they interpret your words." I've found that most people who fiercely defend their habit of saying whatever they think without consideration for others are really lamenting the fact that they can't be jerks without someone calling them on it. Remember the <a href="http://ruleoftheinternet.com/">Wheaton's Law</a>, and think about how your criticism will be taken. There's a line, of course, but a little sensitivity on both sides goes a long way towards actually solving problems instead of straining relationships and making everything worse.</p>
<p>Do you manage someone, or have family members who look to you for honest advice? How do you deliver criticism without coming off like a jerk? Share your tips in the comments below.</p>
<em>Title photo by <a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic.mhtml?id=30434380">Monkey Business Images</a>.</em> </div>

Taking criticism is difficult enough, but giving constructive criticism can be really tricky, especially when you don&#39;t want to completely tick off the person you&#39;re talking to. You may not have complete control over how someone else will perceive your words, but you can do a lot to communicate constructively.

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How to Give Criticism Without Sounding Like a Jerk

Use The "Sandwich" Approach And Be Specific On The Expected Results

Give Feedback, Not Instruction

Give Kind Criticism, And Remember The Point Of It

Don't Make It Personal

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How to Give Criticism Without Sounding Like a Jerk

Use The "Sandwich" Approach And Be Specific On The Expected Results

Give Feedback, Not Instruction

Give Kind Criticism, And Remember The Point Of It

Don't Make It Personal

IDEAS ABOUT

MORE LIKE THIS

How to Give Constructive Criticism: 6 Helpful Tips | Personal Excellence

The Three Keys to Giving Feedback to Overly Defensive People

Constructive Criticism: What it is and How to Take it

It's time to

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A PRO!

Bite-sized knowledge
to upgrade
your career