"My anti-bucket list is a list of my top fears, discomforts, and dislikes that I would rather avoid, but am willing to face up to in order to conquer them and become a better person for the challenge."

What is an anti-bucket list?

Great question! Totally understandable. After all, if you googled for the phrase ‘anti-bucket list’, you probably have seen that most people use the term to describe a list of things they never, ever, EVER in a million years, want to do. The front page of Google is full of these stories – and frankly, after reading through many of them, I agree. I wouldn’t want to do those things either!So why do you need a list to describe what you don’t want out of life?Fair question.My version of an anti-bucket list is a slightly softer approach to the genre. Yes, there are things in my life that I would also truly never want to do, but that’s not on my anti-bucket list. My anti-bucket list is a list of my top fears, discomforts, and dislikes that I would rather avoid, but am willing to face up to in order to conquer them and become a better person for the challenge.After all, I figure if I’m going to be afraid of something, I have three options: I can keep living in fear, I can ignore anything that resembles it so that I’m not afraid (but I’m also not addressing the issue), or I can face it and see if I can overcome it. Most of the things on my list aren’t true phobias, by the way. They aren’t life-or-death situations. They are just things that I personally struggle with, that I have varying levels of stress over.Some of these things I’ve been resisting my whole life.And about five years ago, that’s when things came to a head for me. I decided I could continue to ignore these things, and only ‘half-live’ or I could deal with them head-on and practice intentional courage. To see if I could conquer my fears and could live more fully instead.Does this mean I don’t get scared?Of course not!!!But it does mean I am choosing to live life on my terms instead of passively avoiding difficult things.In the last five years since I thought of this concept, I’ve:<UL><LI>joined Toastmasters for two years</LI><LI>given a dozen speeches and participated in two public speaking contests</LI><LI>flew &nbsp;out to Washington DC for to stay five weeks with roommates I’d never met previously so I could earn the CELTA</LI><LI>earned two bachelors degrees</LI><LI>spent twelve weeks as a student teacher</LI></UL>This is all coming from someone who does not like change, had public speaking as the first item on my anti-bucket list, is afraid of flying, doesn’t like small talk, taking on leadership roles, doesn’t like the possibility of conflict or of failure, and has commitment-phobia.What’s my other alternative though?These things about me aren’t going to change unless I address them. So I could have chosen to NOT do any of the above things, and I’d still be afraid to put myself out there – without ever discovering if I COULD.But, having done these things in spite of my fears, means that the next time I have to or choose to address my fears again, I now have a specific milestone to link back to. I can say to myself, ‘Hey, this is just like…’ or ‘Remember that time when…?’ I have a story to recount; memories to relive. It reminds me that I did it once, so I can do it again. It WILL be easier the next time. (I remind myself of this every time I drive somewhere….)What have you faced up to in the last five years?What have you done that was incredibly tough, but in so doing, you earned the right to be proud of?What are your milestone moments?What are YOUR stories to tell?Remember that hard thing you did? Remember getting through it? Remember choosing to face up to your fears, and how you survived?You did an awesome job.Keep it going.What will be the next item on your anti-bucket list that you will tackle?Have I convinced you to start your own anti-bucket list yet? <img alt="🙂" src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/12.0.0-1/svg/1f642.svg" width="15" height="15"> If so, and you aren’t sure how to get started, check out my next post <a href="http://anti-bucketlist.com/how-to-start-your-own-anti-bucket-list-in-5-simple-steps/" dir="ltr">here </a>where I will walk you through the basics.

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Great question! Totally understandable. After all, if you googled for the phrase ‘anti-bucket list’, you probably have seen that most people use the term to describe a list of things they never, ever, EVER in a million years, want to do. The front page of Google is full of these stories – and frankly, after reading through many of them, I agree. I wouldn’t want to do those things either!

So why do you need a list to describe what you don’t want out of life? Fair question. My version of an anti-bucket list is a slightly softer approach to the genre. Yes, there are things in my life that I would also truly never want to do, but that’s not on my anti-bucket list. My anti-bucket list is a list of my top fears, discomforts, and dislikes that I would rather avoid, but am willing to face up to in order to conquer them and become a better person for the challenge.

After all, I figure if I’m going to be afraid of something, I have three options: I can keep living in fear, I can ignore anything that resembles it so that I’m not afraid (but I’m also not addressing the issue), or I can face it and see if I can overcome it. Most of the things on my list aren’t true phobias, by the way. They aren’t life-or-death situations. They are just things that I personally struggle with, that I have varying levels of stress over.

Some of these things I’ve been resisting my whole life. And about five years ago, that’s when things came to a head for me. I decided I could continue to ignore these things, and only ‘half-live’ or I could deal with them head-on and practice intentional courage. To see if I could conquer my fears and could live more fully instead. Does this mean I don’t get scared?

Of course not!!! But it does meanI am choosing to live life on my terms instead of passively avoiding difficult things. In the last five years since I thought of this concept, I’ve: <ul><li>joined Toastmasters for two years </li><li>given a dozen speeches and participated in two public speaking contests </li><li>flew  out to Washington DC for to stay five weeks with roommates I’d never met previously so I could earn the CELTA </li><li>earned two bachelors degrees </li><li>spent twelve weeks as a student teacher </li> </ul>

This is all coming from someone who does not like change, had public speaking as the first item on my anti-bucket list, is afraid of flying, doesn’t like small talk, taking on leadership roles, doesn’t like the possibility of conflict or of failure, and has commitment-phobia. What’s my other alternative though? These things about me aren’t going to change unless I address them. So I could have chosen to NOT do any of the above things, and I’d still be afraid to put myself out there – without ever discovering if I COULD.

But, having done these things in spite of my fears, means that the next time I have to or choose to address my fears again, I now have a specific milestone to link back to. I can say to myself, ‘Hey, this is just like…’ or ‘Remember that time when…?’ I have a story to recount; memories to relive. It reminds me that I did it once, so I can do it again. It WILL be easier the next time. (I remind myself of this every time I drive somewhere….)

What have you faced up to in the last five years? What have you done that was incredibly tough, but in so doing, you earned the right to be proud of? What are your milestone moments? What are YOUR stories to tell? Remember that hard thing you did? Remember getting through it? Remember choosing to face up to your fears, and how you survived? You did an awesome job.

“What on earth is an ANTI-bucket list (and why should I create one)?”

What is an anti-bucket list?

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