How to Start Over In Life When You Feel Stuck

We often get stuck in life because we’re either unable or unwilling to accept our reality as it is. Instead, we stubbornly continue to indulge in fantasy, specifically, how we wish things were.

This is where you’ll need to get real with yourself, no matter how unpleasant it is.

Ask yourself: What’s your situation now, and how can you work with what is, not what you wish it was?

No one starts out planning to fail or creating a disaster. But somehow, we end up taking one or several wrong steps along the way and find ourselves on a painful path we never expected to be in.

Whether these missteps were driven by ego, a lack of awareness, miscalculation, denial, or simply carelessness, you owe it to yourself to be honest with the captain of your ship: You.

It’s only once you’ve taken the time to reflect and figure out what went wrong and where things started to fall apart that you can start putting together a new plan with your success-driving strategy baked in.

You may have an idea of where you’d like to go: Run it through a stress test:

• How do you want to live? 
• Does your idea align with your values?
• What are your values anyway?
• What will you do if someone close to you disagrees or tries to tear it down? 
• What will happen if you find yourself feeling tempted to stray away from it?

Put your ideas, values, and stress-test answers down on paper so you can see them all in one place and let them sink in.

‘Decision’ comes from the Latin word decisio, which literally means “to cut off”.

But while picking one path means cutting yourself off from all others, it doesn’t mean that you can’t course-correct later on by choosing a different one if things don’t work out or feel right.

It’s OK to feel terrified about heading into new, unchartered territory. It’d be weird if you didn’t.

But know that this is the point where you start putting one foot in front of the other regardless of how you feel, or chicken out and retreat into your cave.

It’s time to get moving despite the paralyzing fear and soul-crushing doubt that are making your feet and heart feel like lead.

Being consistent with your new habits will give you the results you’re after and keep you inspired to keep going. Until you hit a wall. Here, you’ll get stuck.

It happens, and it will happen. Your body will adapt to your new workout program. Your new daily routine will eventually feel mundane and boring, causing your motivation to take a dip. Or maybe you’ll experience a huge setback, leaving you feeling down and confused.

This is when you’ll need to diagnose the problem, regroup and fix it. Your priority? Figure out how to work your way around this thing that’s standing in your way so you can keep moving forward on your new path.

• It could mean adding or subtracting something (or someone) from your life.
• It could mean making the tiniest tweak to your diet.
• It could mean switching jobs, yet again.
• It could mean changing your thoughts or how you talk to yourself.

It won't be easy, but you’ll be glad you did it.

So you’ve taken a couple of wrong turns and ended up getting burned. Now, you’re afraid to make mistakes and have developed the habit of doubting yourself, over-analyzing every move you’re thinking of making, and hesitating mid-step.

Here’s something you need to know: Mistakes are never going to stop coming. If anything, they’re only going to creep up on you more frequently, get more challenging and take just as much time (or more) to recover from.

With or without the fear, and whether or not you give in to it, you will make more mistakes.

When you’re trying to rebuild a new foundation for your life — and preferably a rock-solid one — you’ll need some help in the form of guidance from a mentor who’s done it before.

This person could be someone who’s achieved a goal you’ve set your sights on, has reinvented themselves successfully or just has the qualities that you’re working towards building within yourself.

What matters is that watching them do what they do in the world inspires you to do more, and to do better every single day, even when setbacks rear their ugly head.