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7 Steps to Taking Harsh Criticism From Your Boss
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Criticism is a good thing
No matter how good or how seasoned you are, there's always room to grow.
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Dealing with criticism that cuts
- Distance Yourself From the Situation to allow you to calm down. Do not react or take it personally.
- Try to Understand Your Boss's Intentions. Is he's upset with your performance or exceptionally stressed or prone to say things he doesn't fully mean?
- Summarize the Criticism. Repeat back exactly what you think she's driving at. Try and word the criticism in a more positive light. "so you're saying I need to find a new work strategy so I can improve my performance?"
Explain Your Perspective. The more specific you can be here, the better.
Engage in a Dialogue. Work together with your boss to hash out the unspoken details of the criticism.
- Suggest an Action Plan and make sure to follow it.
- Consider Giving Criticism of Your Own if the criticism is misdirected. Tell your boss that his/her criticism was unwarranted or unhelpful, but suggest alternative strategies he/she can use in the future to make his/her criticism better.
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Stop Your First Reaction
At the first sign of criticism, before you do anything—stop. Try not to react at all.
Even a few seconds are enough for your brain to process a situation: you can halt a dismissi...
Remember the Benefits of Getting Feedback
Namely, to improve your skills, work product, and relationships, and to help you meet the expectations that your manager and others have of you.
Also, try to cut back any reaction you're having to the person who is delivering the feedback, even if it's hard to receive criticism from someone you don't fully respect.
Listen for Understanding
As the person shares feedback with you, listen closely. Allow the person to share their complete thoughts, without interruption. When they’re done, repeat back what you heard.
Avoid analyzing or questioning the person’s assessment; instead, just focus on understanding his or her comments and perspective.
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Managing Your Boss
Managing one’s boss can be a challenge, and most people have problems and frustrations with their superiors.
Working optimally with your boss means trying to produce the best possible r...
Talk About Priorities
Try connecting with your manager on a regular basis, clearing the work goals and priorities of the coming weeks or months.
Ensure that this line of communication is open so that there is clarity on both sides.
Regular Touchpoints
Just like setting priorities, there has to be a regular touchpoint system established, for checking in and getting queries solved.
Maintaining regularity of the meeting is imperative, though there are bound to be cancellations due to other priorities of your boss. It helps to take this into account and pushing for the meeting nonetheless.
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Why We Give Criticism
- To help someone improve. Sometimes criticism is actual honest feedback.
- To see a change that we would like. If we regularly read a magazine or blog, for example, there mi...
Why Criticism Hurts or Angers
- The criticism is mean-spirited. If you use insulting or degrading language or put down the person in any way, they will focus on that, and not on the rest of the criticism.
- If you focus on the person instead of their actions, you will make them angry or defensive or hurt.
- They assume you’re attacking them. Some people can’t take criticism in a detached, non-personal way.
- They assume they’re right. Many people don’t like to hear that they’re wrong, whether it’s true or not.
How to Deliver Criticism Kindly
- Don’t attack attack, insult, or be mean in any way
- Talk about actions or things, not the person.
- Don’t tell the person he’s wrong.
- Don’t criticize at all. Give a positive suggestion instead.