Look at how people’s shoulders are angled. Then notice where their chests are pointing. You also want to notice people’s expressions as you listen to what they’re talking about, keying in on the paraverbals — the cadence, tone, volume, pace. You put it all together and you’ll be able to tell tell whether someone’s response of “great” to “how’s it going?” is genuine, happy, sarcastic, or something else.

“It’s not the words themselves, but how they’re saying them."

If you’ve mastered the basics, try to decipher what people aren’t saying, because people are usually holding something back or couching their terms. It will give you further insight.

Pay attention to the acoustics and size. Pay attention to the setting and atmosphere — are things casual, or more formal?

You might know everyone there, and they might be people with whom you usually talk sports and use salty language. But this might not be the setting for that, and engaging in your usual dynamic can up people’s insecurities.

“Let the room dictate it, not the relationship."

When you’re reading a room, you’re not looking to be a perpetual observer. The goal is to observe and then engage. It’s more about slowing down your pace, assessing and eventually responding, not with mirroring but calibration.

If the tone is sad, you don’t have to become sad. You just don’t have to tell jokes or talk business.