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Your relationships will rarely be healthier than your self-esteem.
If the time you spend alone is already enjoyable to some degree—that is, if you have a healthy internal monologue and generally feel good about yourself—then you will have a fairly high bar for the type of relationships you’ll enter.
But if you’re unhappy with yourself, then you are more likely to put up with bad relationships because they may occasionally make you feel better than you do alone.
If you want a great relationship, the first thing you want is to be comfortable with yourself.
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Your starting position has to be somewhat optimistic or you’ll talk yourself out of getting started. Believing in what you are about to do does not guarantee success, but a lack of belief can prevent it.
Once you’ve committed, pessimism becomes useful. Question things. Find holes in your plan. Try to identify your mistaken beliefs before they become your misplaced actions.
After you’ve spent some time troubleshooting, it’s back to optimism again. Nothing will ever be perfect, but you have to act anyway. Progress requires the courage to forge ahead despite the inevitable obstacles.
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“Your relationships will rarely be healthier than your self-esteem.”
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