Miri Swift's Key Ideas from How to Mess Up Your Life
by Darrin Zeer
Ideas, facts & insights covering these topics:
6 ideas
·1.71K reads
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Words of Wisdom
- The glass is half empty!
- The early bird catches your worm!
- Put off until tomorrow what you can do today!
- Live each day as if it already were your last!
- Your life is what others make of it!
- There are hardly any fish in the sea!
- You lose some, you lose some!
- You are all that matters!
- No matter where you go, you aren't there!
- Don't forgive and don't forget!
- Life sucks and shit happens a lot!
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451 reads
How to Get Dumped
- Only pretend to listen
- Think about what you want to say while they talk
- Interrupt them
- Share every thought in long, drawn-out details
- Point out their every mistake
- Dump your tension on them
- Make them feel guilty
- Blame them for everything
- Always think the worst of them
- Avoid physical contact
- Avoid romance
- Only focus on your own pleasure
- Enjoy the sound of your own voice
- Avoid eye contact
- Never be on time
- Play hard-to-get
- Set impossibly high standards
- Judge them for not being perfect
- Embrace your inner slob
- Joint Ownership: "What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine!"
- Randomly make accusations and rude comments
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319 reads
How to Get Fired
- Provoke fights at work
- Question the integrity, honesty and work ethic of your coworkers
- Always be late
- Extend your breaks
- Push deadlines
- Display extreme inefficiency
- Pass your workload to coworkers
- Do the absolute minimum
- Waste everyone's time at meetings
- Complain
- Blame others
- Show contempt while given requests, refuse to do them, or accept and don't do them
- Trash important e-mails
- Send completely unrelated replies when answering an e-mail
- Be rude to clients, ignore them, resent their demands, blame them for your misery
- Spread rumors about your boss
- Surf the internet
- Have private conversations
- Sleep on the job
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246 reads
How to Get Depressed
- Avoid cardio, yoga and meditation
- Try to stay motionless
- Avoid healthy food and sugar-free beverages
- Have a negative support buddy
- Wallow in your depression together
- Criticize your friends
- Blame the world
- Keep a dim outlook on life
- Create your own negative affirmations and repeat them like a mantra
- Overwork yourself to cause stress and fatigue
- Always think about your financial constraints
- Set unrealistic expectations
- Make random chaotic plans
- Refuse to help others
- Focus on the traits of others that irritate you
- Never do anything nice for yourself
- Never be grateful for anything
- Succumb to your misery
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263 reads
How to Get Angry
- Repress your anger
- Never reflect on why you are angry
- Just blame someone for it
- Get mad at politicians
- Drive in rush hour traffic
- Aggressively honk while driving
- Be inconsiderate to other drivers
- Blame them for everything that's wrong in your life
- Concentrate on how long you wait while waiting
- Be rude to the ones waiting with you
- Complain to customer support and blame them
- Kick, punch and break stuff
- Scream at random people
- Argue with family and friends
- Build long-lasting resentments towards someone close to you
- Never let go of your anger
- Hate your life
- Don't forget to blame someone!
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211 reads
How to Get Stressed
- Feel the weight of the world on your shoulders
- Tense up all your muscles
- Take short, constrained breaths
- Concentrate on worry and overwhelm
- Think about all past negative experiences
- Create a stress mantra and repeat it regularly in your head
- Always multitask
- Procrastinate
- Focus on all the tasks you can't get done in time because you procrastinated
- Be disorganized
- Scatter your things
- Keep your space cluttered
- Lie, cheat, be dishonest
- Overwork yourself
- Never ask for help
- Go into debt
- Set unrealistic goals, deadlines and to-do lists
- Don't write down your appointments
- Try to remember everything in your head
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220 reads
IDEAS CURATED BY
CURATOR'S NOTE
Have you ever wondered how to get dumped quickly and effectively, fired whenever you want, depressed all the time, angry in an instant and stressed all day long? Then this read is for you. Become the least you can be!
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