If A Man Is Truly Serious About You, He Will Do This! - Deepstash
If A Man Is Truly Serious About You, He Will Do This!

If A Man Is Truly Serious About You, He Will Do This!

Curated from: Lisa Bilyeu

Ideas, facts & insights covering these topics:

10 ideas

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Disclaimer

Disclaimer

  1. I took these notes while listening to this podcast three years ago. I am not sure whether the episode linked is the one I listened to back then, but it's the closest I could find.
  2. Dating advice is very sensitive and personal. I personally do not resonate with some of the advice Matthew Hussey offers (I modified them a little). Take what resonates, leave the rest!

Relationship advice I resonate more with: 8 Rules Of Love Summary

Despite this, I still wanted to move the notes from my notes app to Deepstash as they might help someone.

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Getting To Know Each Other

Getting To Know Each Other

  • Don't change your behaviour daily. Consistency is important.
  • "Invest then test": First, invest in the relationship, then test if it works.
  • Communicate and give clear signs that you like them.
  • "I move a bit, you move a bit": Meet each other in the middle.

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MATTHEW HUSSEY

If someone is intentional about dating, they ask intentional questions because they want to know you.

MATTHEW HUSSEY

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Building The Castle

Building The Castle

Imagine stranding on a desert island. There is land to be discovered but nothing yet to "see", you have to build the castle first. The same goes with relationships. We are so nervous on dates because we are already seeing the castle even though it is not there yet - you have to build it first.

People also do not value the castle, they value the connection.

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Chemistry Is Not Compatibility

Chemistry Is Not Compatibility

Chemistry refers to chemicals released by your brain when you are in love with someone, such as oxytocin. Their release is reduced after 18 to 24 months into the relationship and has to be "build up" again.

Compatibility lasts longer as it is not based on chemicals but on how you connect.

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Levels Of Importance

Levels Of Importance

There are four levels of importance:

  1. Admiration
  2. Connection, chemistry or both
  3. Commitment, saying "yes" to each other
  4. Compatibility

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MATTHEW HUSSEY

If someone is telling you something that would make their life more difficult to tell you, then it's probably true.

MATTHEW HUSSEY

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Believe Them

Believe Them

... when they tell you something bad about themselves.

"If someone is telling you something that isn't good for their pitch, that means it took some activation energy to do that." - Matthew Hussey

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Solving Problems

Solving Problems

"Don't pick up the leaves from the tree, take the root of the tree."

Take a problem at its root and solve it as soon as it arises. Don't allow small things to build up over time.

The problem is never the other person but the relationship between you. Problems affect both of you and should therefore be solved by both of you.

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Genders In Dating

Genders In Dating

  • "Women have to ask questions too, even if they're afraid of the answer."
  • Men like it when a woman knows what she wants.
  • Women can also make the first step.
  • Men don't want attention, they want intention.
  • When someone says they don't want it, they don't want it - believe them.

(Note: These ideas are originally based on heterosexual relationships but I personally believe they are not limited to any specific gender or relationship.)

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IDEAS CURATED BY

sonnixo

Psychology student with a passion for learning and developing as a person.

CURATOR'S NOTE

Dating and relationship advice from Matthew Hussey.

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